How are you feeling right now #4

Just a little sad. Cried last night. Feeling like... "hope" is just something that leads you on, then lets you down. "Hope" hurts - because it never turns in to anything real.

Oh, and no return call from the cardiac place. And, I'm worrying that the doc's office is going to bill me for a regular visit, even though I asked for a physical/annual checkup (which is free under my insurance). Not sure what to expect.

Anxious this morning

Feeling kind of depressed.

I feel good this afternoon

A little bit concerned. It’s almost 9 and I’m wondering if that large Mountain Dew and large Coke I had today was enough to keep me awake tonight.

Mixed emotions this morning

Kind of messed up. I SH-ed this morning.

I feel good this afternoon

*hugs* SlumberKitty (and to everyone else)

Kind of weird week for me. I'm feeling a little depressed, but also agitated (I think). Like, I hate everything in my life, but also can't figure out how to change any of it - change feels impossible. Which leads to hopelessness.

And, I really need to cut the sugar (for my brain and my body). Was going to try to get through sugar withdrawal this weekend, since we have Monday off, but... it's 9am. And I had dark chocolate with breakfast. So, a little disappointed in myself.

Also, lots of things on my to-do list, but I'm not moving from the computer. Totally unmotivated.

I feel good this morning

Kind of feeling blah from waking up at 2:45. The caffeine I had isn’t working. I’m not totally exhausted to the point of collapsing, but I am a bit lightheaded and I’m lying on the couch now. I may or may not take a nap.

I feel ok this afternoon

A little anxious this morning

Depressed. Talked to my neurofeedback guy last night, and just didn't feel like I had a chance to talk or be heard. It's been several months, and I still wonder if he "sees" me, and how he can figure out what protocols I need, when he's not hearing everything.

Really depressed last night. Didn't sleep well. Got up and exercised this morning though, so points for that. But feeling a little ungrounded and lost, like there's a ton of stuff I should be getting done - but I'm drifting and unsure of how to get started.

I feel somewhat uncomfortable and I want the day to be over. Low stress and quiet morning with a nice walk and social time this afternoon. But am still uncomfortable with everything. Seeking peace, and solemnity. Sigh, how highs and lows effect us. In need of some serious quiet time to clear my head

I feel anxious but ok this afternoon

I’m in the shock stage of losing my cat. I’m kinda emotionless and blocking the situation from my mind because it pains me to think of it. I do have a ton of family and community support including the mayor who are helping me and my mom find him.

Mixed emotions

Feeling depressed/worried.

Angry and disappointed.

Depressed/Anxious

Mixed emotions this afternoon

Mixed emotions and tired

Stressed, depressed, miserable.

I am hating my job. I was stuck doing a big part of a project that's really not my job, and doesn't use my skills/talents. It's very logistical, I'm bored and overwhelmed at the same time, and I hate it. In the meantime, I feel like I'm not developing the skills relevant to my career - and it's making it even harder for me to move on to something else. It's such a depressing spiral downward.

On top of that, my mom has started an annual get-together kind of thing for me, her and my sister. And honestly, as terrible as it sounds, once a year is TOO OFTEN for me. She starts planning almost an entire year in advance, and I just feel constantly stressed and unhappy about it, and I can't find a graceful way to say, "you know, I don't want do do this every single year."

And... my mom has kind of rotten boundaries. She likes to push for more, more, more all the time. So, this thing is supposed to be for a weekend, but she immediately starts asking if we should extend it... a day here, a day here (I shut that down).

Now, she's asking if she should fly in to my city and drive with me. It's a good 7 hours driving, and I don't want to have to add to that time with a trip to the airport. OMG. If she's going to fly, she needs to just fly directly to the destination.

I just... can't... even... *cry* *cry* *cry*.

I now have a ton of edits for this work project, but I've been updating the document in the mean time, so I have to try to figure out what people want changed, why they want it changed, get client signoff (ha!) and merge it all back in to one document. More crying.

And I can't stop eating chocolate. Because, I'm miserable and stressed. All I want is chocolate. Like, seriously, if I could just set up an IV with a chocolate drip... I think I might.

Life sucks. Everything sucks. I can't find an answer and feel like I've given up, I'm just treading water and waiting to drown at this point.

Anxious it's very smoky where i am today from the forest fires up North. Situation is bad we need rain