How are you feeling right now #6?

Mixed emotions

I’m nervous because the second person with that virus is in Chicago. And I was certain people in Chicago would be safe. Well telling yourself you’ll be safe and have nothing to worry about certainly doesn’t help all the time.

Dear @Access Denied, you are a wonderful doctor!! God bless you!!

Right now I'm feeling a little nervous about some things, but overall, I guess pretty good.

I feel like I want to go out and do something different but I don't know what. I'm feeling well, though.

I'm feeling very good.

Thank you for remembering me, @SlumberKitty Your support to me has been very helpful, too.


I am grateful for your friendship and interest in me.

I had counseling this afternoon. It helped me a lot.


Thank you for your private messages, @mote.of.soul I managed to calm down and received help which my boss organised. This counseling is what all of us staff have when giving support and treatment at these road accidents.

Thank you for your support. Admittedly I was very shaken up even long after coming home. At the time I was all alone. Then my gf came home and helped me. Then my boss called by and said of getting me fixed up with counseling this afternoon. It was a 50 minute session. Surprisngly it went quickly, but afterwards I needed to be alone for a while to let it all sink in. After any counseling, it always pays to have time alone, otherwise it can all unravel.


I've been resting since, and feel better now. And I am staying in the job because I firmly believe that we are tested at times, but what I do has been a kind of calling since I was a preteen.


Thank you Breaking Dawn. This afternoon my boss fixed me up with some trauma counseling. I was very shaken because the accident scene made me remember my parents' deaths last spring. But I found the couseling very helpful, and went home to see my daughter and girlfriend waiting.

Thank you for your support.

Feeling quite optimistic, tbh. Slight cloud of anxiety but it's only little.

Depressed this morning

I'm feeling okay within myself. It'll be dawn soon.

Not feeling too bad considering these last couple of days. Finished a bunch of admin following that night time accident; followed up the lady I took to hospital and home and got her and her daughter enrolled in the medical centre so she can get vital counseling for the trauma she went through.

Also I am feeling better for knowing her teenage daughter is recovering well in ICU, and hopefully get her some trauma counseling tailormade specially for her particular age group. I specially took extra time to rest, waking late at 10 AM because a lie in is vitally important for self-care, especially necessary after that other night!

Self-care can be tiring; we need to make extra time for ourselves. We mustn't feel guilty because we have others in our family to look after, so the onus is on ourselves because we must be fit enough to take care of anyone needy in our family. Including having earlier nights because TV progs can always be recorded for later viewing.

I have a headache probably from sleeping for 14 hours.

Very nervous but feeling okay

I feel upbeat after finally sweeping my deck which I have procrastinated on for over a month

Mixed emotions this afternoon

Tonight I'm feeling much better than earlier though over £2,000 lighter in pocket thanks to buying a pair of good laptops and upgrading a nice desktop sound system.

I feel low and disappointed,I bought scratchcards when I was out earlier but I didn't win anything.
I am feeling stretch financially,I could do with a win.
I am also depressed today and fed up being alone every day,I want friends and a partner but both are
such hard work and never work out for me!

Stressed stressed stressed!

Got an email from my mom yesterday. She wants to plan to get together later in the fall. This was supposed to be a one-time thing a few years ago, but she grabbed it and wants to do it every year, forever, now. Which is almost OK... if she actually would *ask* but she just assumes that we're all on-board. Last year, we met up and literally within 5 minutes of me getting to the hotel she started asking "what do you want to do next year?"

It's. Too. Much. OMG. Too. Much.

She's also saying that she wants to extend it a couple days, so that we have more time together. But, travel is stressful for me. I don't sleep well in hotels. I don't enjoy being away from home. I don't enjoy spending time with her, and after the first afternoon, she spends a huge amount of time on her phone talking to other people anyway!!!

Anyway, I've already told her that I can't plan anything yet. I've got other things going on. I'm trying to replace my car which is a huge stressor for me. I need to find a new job. I need to figure out if I want to change careers. I've been at my job for ~15 years and it's killing me, adding to my depression, making me feel invisible and worthless. I may be moving to a different state (I think it might be good for me, I'm tired of where I'm at, but not sure and would need to find a job first... and it would be a BIG move, and I'd be alone with it!) Oh, and I'm also trying to plan my own trip out of state to work with my neurofeedback guy for a month or so.

On top of all that, I once again realized... I kind of don't actually like my mother. I feel *horrible* and guilty about that, but I don't enjoy spending time with her. I shut down around her and feel "less me"... I feel like a robot. And, I realize I have had to do that to keep myself safe (she can be critical and judgmental).

Anyway, blah blah blah long story. It's just really hard.

And as if that weren't enough... um... my birthday is tomorrow! And I'm a little upset that she's stirring up all this stress right before my birthday.

I just... ugh. Wish things were better. Kind of hating my life. I really need to figure out the car thing, b/c I'm just churning on it, and the sooner I deal with it, the sooner I can move on to other important life things.

And I need to figure out how to respond to my mother's email. At this point, I want to just say, "As I already said, I don't have the bandwidth to think or plan this right now. If you guys want to plan something, please go ahead. I'll make it, if I can, but I'm not able to make a firm commitment at this point."

*Feeling crazy!*

I'm feeling wonderful, which I give credit to my amazing psychologist who's saved my life many times already!

Depressed AF. Son is ghosting our kind, loving texts. So now we’ll just leave him alone and accept we are estranged. That’s what he and his wife desired anyway. You cant make someone love you, not even your own son who you thought did. Can’t pull myself out. Just gonna wallow in it. A customer wants me to try to make business happen with them. I’ll force myself through the motions. Learning to quietly isolate while still doing what I need to. Grieving.

My anxiety absolutely sucks right now. It’s like the Xanax I took an hour ago was a frigging excedrin and filled with caffeine or something. It’s doing the complete opposite. I guess I’ll try my visteral next.

I'm sorry, @TishaBuv! Good luck with everything!!

Up and down these days but by the large I am doing and feeling ok.

I feel good this afternoon

I feel lousy,really depressed,tired,sleepy and lethargic.......I hate being stuck at home indoors but I have little choice because I don't have any spare
money to go out with......I could try walk and use my free bus pass but I am not sure I can make it all the way to the bus stop without being in pain.I might have to try though
or else be stuck at home feeling really miserable.Today I was having some negative emotions I wanted to escape from and I escaped by napping a lot and making myself fall asleep.That's not the best way to deal with negativity is it,I need therapy.Unfortunately my turn on the waiting list to see a psychologist doesn't come up until June this year.I was in crisis when I applied and they approved me but said the waiting list is a year long.