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#26
Mar 09, 2008, 11:42 PM
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
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#27
Mar 09, 2008, 11:44 PM
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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#28
Mar 09, 2008, 11:44 PM
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Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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#29
Mar 09, 2008, 11:50 PM
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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#30
Mar 09, 2008, 11:50 PM
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When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
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#31
Mar 09, 2008, 11:51 PM
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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#32
Mar 09, 2008, 11:51 PM
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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#33
Mar 09, 2008, 11:51 PM
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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#34
Mar 09, 2008, 11:52 PM
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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#35
Mar 09, 2008, 11:52 PM
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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#36
Mar 09, 2008, 11:52 PM
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Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
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#37
Mar 09, 2008, 11:53 PM
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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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#38
Mar 09, 2008, 11:53 PM
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
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#39
Mar 09, 2008, 11:53 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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#40
Mar 09, 2008, 11:53 PM
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
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#41
Mar 09, 2008, 11:54 PM
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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#42
Mar 09, 2008, 11:54 PM
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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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#43
Mar 09, 2008, 11:54 PM
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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#44
Mar 09, 2008, 11:55 PM
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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#45
Mar 09, 2008, 11:55 PM
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A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
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#46
Mar 09, 2008, 11:55 PM
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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#47
Mar 09, 2008, 11:56 PM
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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#48
Mar 09, 2008, 11:56 PM
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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#49
Mar 09, 2008, 11:56 PM
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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#50
Mar 09, 2008, 11:57 PM
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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