Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel Of Fortune. He was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone awkwardly standing waiting for the wheel to stop.

There are no weapons of masss destruction in Iraq, Chuch Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Rather than being born like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris actually died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

When you open a can of whoop-***, Chuck Norris jumps out.

i think these are funny myself

I live for Chuck Norris jokes. And all my friends know it.

who is this Chuck Norris person anyway?

WHO IS CHUCK NORRIS?!
Omg I think I just had a myocardial infarction.

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Brian37 said:
who is this Chuck Norris person anyway?

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Chuck Norris Facts are satirical facts about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The facts are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris's toughness, attitude, virility, "alpha-male status", sophistication and masculinity, for example:

If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only have seconds to live.

The facts typically claim that Chuck Norris is some type of irate, all-powerful superbeing. Some of these facts have also turned into popular jokes. Like most Internet phenomena, the Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions mentioning country-specific advertisements, other Internet phenomena, etc. Allusions are also sometimes made to his use of roundhouse kick attacks to perform seemingly any task, his large amount of body hair with specific regard to his beard, and his role in the action television series Walker, Texas Ranger.

Basically, he was on a sort of cheesy martial arts show, and so people made up ridiculous facts.

just kiddin..........anyway poor ole Chuck was complaining on the set of "Lone Wolf McQuade" that David Carradine was hitting him too hard....

best Chuck Norris movie: " Silent Rage"

worst Chuck Norris movie: " Breaker! Breaker!"

They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises