[mlpHolmes]

If you've been spoken to rudely or insulted (in a group or one on one), what has been your best come back line that you have used or heard??????

[okiedokie]

What are you, NEW????

That one usually shuts people right up!

Okie

[Brian37]

at work I get a lot of telemarketing calls every day.....the thing that ticks me off is they always struggle to pronounce my last name
after 37 years im gettin tired of people asking...

anyway the other day I get a call from some woman who says:

" can I speak to Brian &*^%$%.......oh my gosh I'm sorry I really butchered your last name"

my reply:

" I'm sorry you took a job as a telemarketer"

she hung up before I did

my mom said yesterday to me when she was being cranky and I asked her to watch the baby while i bathed and she wanted to go home(at seven pm) "Dear, I have to go to bed. I am 55 years old and I have to work three hours tomorrow, I need my rest"

I replied "Yeah well I am 25 years old and have Rheumatoid Arthritis and a new baby to care for."

Zing. She needed it i think.

[Perna]

"So?" (along the lines of, "Your point is?")

[nothemama8]

"Are you writing a book "

[TaintedGoth1]

Thank you...followed by a smile

[I_WMD]

Lately it has been >>.. " Yea ,, and she raised her hand and said >>>,,, Well of course I would like cancer ,,, plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ?? "

[Yoda]

My greatest comeback line was at a Bob Seger concert when a totally drunk girl who had caused multiple problems for concert goers stood face to face to me and said, "I'd like to sleep with your husband". My comeback, "He wouldn't sleep with you; you look like a ferret". She then slugged me and I hit her once with my fist and I got handcuffed while her friends drug her away from the scene. Fortunately for me people from the concert told the cop that she had been the problem, not me, and security had been called twice on her.

[MyBestKids2]

Na nee Na nee Na noo

Yes, I'm a simpleton!

[Doh2007]

I was walking towards a shop and could feel someone behind me. He said, "Some people are so slow." I turned and said, "Some people are so impatient." He agreed and laughed to see that I was nine months pregnant and waddling.

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
This happened many years ago.

During lunchbreak a coworker said to my very pregnant friend, "Stand up and show everyone how fat you are!"

My friend shot back, "You first."

<font color="purple">I'd post here but I'm soooo bad at comebacks...
Although I did diss my videogame pretty good one time
</font>

[Rissie_and_another]

my greatest comebackline was when some said "f*** you!!!! and i said "no thanks i dont want aids!!!" then someone else said go f*** yurself and i aid DONT BE WATCHIN!!!! lol it was HILARIOUS!

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
I must be like a lot of people who never think of good comeback lines until well after the fact. And yet, I know one when I see one.

The following anecdote is from a favorite story of mine about psychiatrist, R.D. Laing. It's not my personal experience but it contains a classic comeback line....

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

As the story goes...

R.D. Laing was invited to tour the wing of a new psychiatric hospital. During the tour, his tour guides (four fellow psychiatrists) drew his attention to a window in a door. Behind the window was a young woman who had been stripped naked and was rocking within the confines of her padded room. According to the tour guides, she'd not spoken to anyone in the four months since she'd been placed in the room.

"Can you think of anything that might help her?" the tour guides inquired of Laing.

Laing promptly stripped himself naked, entered the room and began rocking in time to the young woman. Within 20 minutes she was speaking with him.

Laing is reputed to have later quipped in a thick Scottish brogue ...

"I can't believe none of you thought of that."


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[findebsoon]

Well this one is along the same lines,
but it was just a comeback that
surprised me and the listener,
my friend said, "Your bad to the bone",
at which I replied," No, I'm just
good to the skin".


~To uproot the weeds of anxious care,
get down on your knees.

DB

[StayGolden]

A few come back lines I've used and have heard are:

"And your point was?"

"I learned from the best."

"Were you talking to me? Cause I stopped listening a long time ago."

"Came up with that all by yourself?"

"Make sure you spell my name right."


...

[Liberada]

I posted this long ago but it's still my best comeback!

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showf...=519212&Forum=

[musicnmoods]

I remember a cousin of ours thinking he was being funny by making fun of my sister and I because we went to an arts school instead of a traditional one in jr. high, which he didn't consider a "real" school. He said to me, "Oh, so is that why you're so stupid." And without even thinking about it I answered, "And what's your excuse?" Even my dad laughed!

[Fuzzybear]

[Danialla]

My husband walked into our home, stepped over the drywall paste can that hadn't moved in 3 weeks, and headed into the hallway. Because I was in the living room adjusting the towels I had put at the base of our "new" (installed 6 months before), non-weather stripped entrance door, I was only able to catch a glimpse of the hammer he held in one of his hands.

Concerned I walked around the step ladder left in the alcove to finish the plaster work, and followed him. At that point I was able to see the tool belt hanging around his waist. Well, I must add that my vision was enhanced by the light bulb hanging from the light fixture.....(he wanted to rewire the light before I put the cover on).

Anyway, as he headed towards the back bedroom I asked him what he was going to do? He answered that he was going to make the back closet into an extra bathroom. Granted, that project would have been made easier due to the lack closet doors. He had taken off the sliding doors 2 months before so he could install bi-folds.

Well, when I said NO-WAY, he became a bit upset and yelled back, "What does someone have to do to get a project started around here???"

To which I answered......"FINISH ONE!"

And that was by far my greatest comeback!

[(JD)]

Well, the best one I've received...

My friend and I were camping at Disney World, in the winter. The campsite wasn't close to any facilities (something we learned to do for other trips.) So we had to drive for showering etc. Since it was cold, we made and kept reservations to eat at China Pavilion until just before the firework display. We ate more quickly than we planned so sat there drinking hot tea and talking for quite a while, then went out when the show began.

During the middle of the night, my friend needed to use the restroom. It was my car and I had to drive her, since her feet were hurting also from all the walking. We had a few tense words on the short drive, with my asking why she didn't go before we got to the campsite, like I did? That I didn't have to go then. She replied, "Well, you didn't drink all the tea in China!!!!"

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mlpHolmes said:
If you've been spoken to rudely or insulted (in a group or one on one), what has been your best come back line that you have used or heard??????

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


I know I am - but what are YOU .......................... No No

just kidding - loved it though.

[Rhapsody]

This policeman is being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.... the lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.

<font color="red"> Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? </font>
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

<font color="red"> Q: Officer, who provided this description? </font>
A: The officer who responded to the scene.

<font color="red"> Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? </font>
A: Yes sir, with my life.

<font color="red"> Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties? </font>
A: Yes sir, we do.

<font color="red"> Q: And do you have a locker in that room? </font>
A: Yes sir, I do.

<font color="red"> Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? </font>
A: Yes sir.

<font color="red"> Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers? </font>
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes <font color="red"> lawyers </font> have been known to walk through that room.

* * * * * * * * * *

With that awesome "Come Back Line" - the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

The officer has been nominated for this year's “Best Come-Back” Line…..

[Danialla]

How about....

If I wanted to put words in your mouth, I would write them on the bottom of your feet.