Ya Know Your A Redneck When ....

Useing the word .. Ancestor ,, is the beginning of a sentence to a sibling ,,, as in .... Ancestor that sure is a pretty dress.

This is how redneck we are: (just for starters)

Cable tied our windshield wipers to stay on

Drove around for a week with our van door tied on

Drove a winter with balnkets to keep warm b/c the heater didnt work only to realize by spring we had the A/C on!!!

Buy duct tape by the bulk b/c it fixes EVERYTHING!

Hubby super glues his teeth back on

Going to the mailbox ,, is a Family outting .

You say it is bought and paid for ,, and your talking about a tire as you slap your belly .

A trip to your cousins Bobs' is also a trip to the dentist ,, and you know you' re going to end up with a hangover .

The word sweety is not just a term of endearment ,,, but also foreplay .

Making a complaint to the sherriff about a cousin mooning ya ,,, and you can desribe her by a freckle on her butt.

the ashtray when ya sitting on the front porch is one of your horseshoe pits .

Having a family cookout means the whole town will be there .

Wmd - I'm going to think you're stalking me soon. You've attended one of our cookout/brawls?

Of course ,, many AAAAA ,, I was the one making the stir - fry >>>. I was stirring the pulled pork and BBQ sauce for the sandwiches . >>

I haven't had good pulled pork in YEARS! You've brought up a good point say what you will about Rednecks we can cook!

I can remember a family member showing up from out of town that no one had seen in years, a few hours and phone calls later, we have an impromtu family reunion.

We took over the town hall. Massive quantities of food just appeared from no where. Dozens of other out of town relatives turned up Lord only knows where they'd end up sleeping. But it turned into a three day affair. Fun was had by all.