My dad died.

My dad passed away on June 3rd. We talked to him late on June second, about six hours before he passed away. He slipped down the stairs, hit his head, and died instantly. He was 69. This is the first time someone I'm really close to died, and I was lucky in a sense not to have to experience death until 31.

I had started going to a therapist because of a crappy job and relationship help and had seen her three times before he passed away. When he died my mom and I got on a plane and flew back to our home country where he still lived. That was two weeks ago and I leave in two weeks.

I e-mailed the therapist asking to have a dialog with her, that I knew it wouldn't be free, that I knew it wouldn't be confidential because of the nature of the Internet, but that I had things I didn't want to talk about with my family (guilt, pain, etc) and that I didn't want to go through this alone. She said she only worked in person and told me to journal. She knows I have abandonment issues as I've told her how a previous therapist dropped me (about three years ago, and I think because she didn't know what to do with me and I have a kind of feeling I reminded her of herself).

Would you go back to this therapist or find somebody new?

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad . Take Care

I'm sorry about your father, I'm 31 and have yet to experience any significant loss too.

About your therapist . . .

I would probably go back to the therapist if I got on well with her face to face. If you think she has been helping you, then it shouldn't matter much if she doesn't like to e-mail sessions, because that particular situation doesn't come up that much . . .

If you feel that she has been cold and uncaring or has snubbed you by refusing e-mail sessions, then that's another matter I guess. However, I still would go back to the therapist if I liked him/her as a therapist when we work face to face.

((((((((Debbie07))))))))

I am so sorry to hear about your father.

Be strong & take care of yourself.

((Debbie)))) I am so sorry for your loss
My thoughts and prayers are with you

Thanks for the well-wishes. We talked to him on Tuesday night and then six hours later we got the call that he fell down the stairs, hit his head, and died instantly. He was in perfect physical and mental health, and was 69.

What about the therapist?

do you feel comfortable seeing her? if not switch (((debbie)))
once again so sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry that you lost your dad.

If I liked this therapist for the most part, I would go back and talk about what happened and the feelings around it.

((((Debbie)))), sorry about your father...

About the therapist, maybe it is better if you see her in person. About the T in the past, I had a similar experience... This last year has been very hard for me for many reasons so I asked for a T through social security(free). The first day he judged me, which I think as unethical, and refused to give me treatment, said that what happened to me is because of my own decisions in life,etc. I think this is why many of us go to a T, because sometimes we can't cope with everything, and make wrong decisions... That is exactly why we need a T, not to make decisions about our life or tell us what to do, or tell us that what we do is wrong, etc, etc.. we just need somebody to listen to our thoughts and help us just to oversee ourselves in a different light and in a more positive way to break the negative circle.

What I mean with this is that don't give up! Maybe you have to keep on searching for a good T. Someone that doesn't feel uncomfortable with you or your emotions. We all have dark emotions, and not everybody is fit to go through them with you. See you Rap

I would find somebody new.