My Sister is Being Cremated Today

It's starting to hit. It's beginning to hit and hard - my quietness, my silence is not a good thing, not a good thing at all...

I've been keeping myself busy since her death on the 3rd
Making sure we, the 3 left Sister's, will have memorial things from Brenda's service. Just to have, you know. Just, I don't know - sentimental.

What a thing to have for remembrance.

The what if's, the I'm sorriest, the should have's, the should Not have, the Oh My God!

I'm not going to the service, nor are my 2 (left over) sisters.
We can not - FACE (the birth canal) is running the whole thing.

The funeral parlor is her stage - my GOD I can she the light shinning on her.

FACE has done a beautiful job preparing the ceremony. But,
Sadly, were was she when Brenda needed her.

When Brenda just wanted a Mom - That's why she stayed connected to her all these 47 years.

Poor baby, now left this 'earth' (huh) never having what she wanted to desperately.

If FACE had admitted her error's (BIG) we may have become somewhat of a family.

But FACE has left deep scar's - that this is actually making them come to the surface - Which is a very very bad thing - RIGHT NOW!

FACE is actually using this time to try and get into the life's of those who have slammed the door in her face - forever.

I knew she would - She's at my Son, playing him so hard. Actually saying "It'll be so good to see you; how many children do you have, I want pictures"

My son who is intelligent and has one heck of huge heart - See's right through her, and it's causing him to pretty much getting Sick, literally!

No one's going that I know of. That big huge funeral parlor, so beautiful MADE UP (exactly - like FACE has always done).

The funeral home is her STAGE. She as I well knew is trying to use this to get into our life's - WITHOUT - facing the truth of what she has done - What She has DESTROYED. Oh, My GOD

I'm feeling such deep sorry - It hasn't come before now.

To know what I will have left are pieces of her ashes (and I've always thought that to be disgusting) - But I need them.

I feel that I want to go, but it will just be a place where I would want to bow my head.
AND that will not be the case - AT ALL!!!!!!!

In Fact it could turn out to be a Bomb Shell... The feelings are already at the edge, but held back for Brenda, for her daughters who she lived her life for, But THEY didn't appreciate she in the slightest.

My Sisters Being Cremated Today - Dec 9, 2009

The memorial is tomorrow.........


GOD IS GOOD

[notz]

Starlite, I love you.

Could you have a ceremony yourself? You have a lovely yard...I've seen your pictures. Maybe a different date, just for you, your sisters and son. Is this something that would be good for you?

I think it would be nice for you to express your love for your sister in a way that reflects you. Just my humble suggestion.

Love your big heart, sweet lady...hugs for you

[lynn P.]

That's a very good suggestion that Notz gave you. I would also like to gently suggest, if you do go - you would be going for your sister Brenda only and no one else. If you can't go then I fully understand.

When my own brother passed from suicide a year and 8 months ago, I didn't go to his service. I wanted to see my brother before he was cremated, but my SIL had him cremated before any of the siblings saw him. I was devastated and the most livid, I've ever been in my entire life. For me, part of the grieving process is seeing the deceased loved one. I felt if I went, I might choke her - plus I didn't want to go there with hate in my heart when I'm supposed to be praying for my brother. It was very troubling for me to make that decision - should I go or stay home.

I'm sharing with you my story, so you know you're not the only one who's missed your sibling funeral service. In my own mind I made peace with my brother and said my own prayers in my mind. If you don't go, then you and your sisters can have your own little prayer service and perhaps plant a tree in her honor. I know death of a loved one, opens up old family wounds and it will be very hard for a while. You will get through this difficult time Starlite. Your sister Brenda is at peace now and I'll pray for you during this difficult time.

Originally Posted by lynn P.

That's a very good suggestion that Notz gave you. I would also like to gently suggest, if you do go - you would be going for your sister Brenda only and no one else. If you can't go then I fully understand.

When my own brother passed from suicide a year and 8 months ago, I didn't go to his service. I wanted to see my brother before he was cremated, but my SIL had him cremated before any of the siblings saw him. I was devastated and the most livid, I've ever been in my entire life. For me, part of the grieving process is seeing the deceased loved one. I felt if I went, I might choke her - plus I didn't want to go there with hate in my heart when I'm supposed to be praying for my brother. It was very troubling for me to make that decision - should I go or stay home.

I'm sharing with you my story, so you know you're not the only one who's missed your sibling funeral service. In my own mind I made peace with my brother and said my own prayers in my mind. If you don't go, then you and your sisters can have your own little prayer service and perhaps plant a tree in her honor. I know death of a loved one, opens up old family wounds and it will be very hard for a while. You will get through this difficult time Starlite. Your sister Brenda is at peace now and I'll pray for you during this difficult time.

Yes Lynn, Yes.... I talked to the next Sister in line and talked about our own get together of some kind - probally in 2010. We each live in different states.
None of are going - as FACE will be there preforming on the funeral stage.

The planting of a tree sounds just wonderful.

When all is done we Sisters as a few have suggested will get together, just to share and laugh and cry.

Thank you for you gift of kind words

[*freak*]

Starlite, my friend, I'm so sorry all this is going on, to make your sorrow even deeper...
Remember you and your sisters are in my thoughts

[PlanningtoLive]

Saying prayers for you and your sisters. Starlite

Mary Alice

Originally Posted by notz

Starlite, I love you.

Could you have a ceremony yourself? You have a lovely yard...I've seen your pictures. Maybe a different date, just for you, your sisters and son. Is this something that would be good for you?

I think it would be nice for you to express your love for your sister in a way that reflects you. Just my humble suggestion.

Love your big heart, sweet lady...hugs for you

Thank you Lynn09, Lynn P and Notz all of your suggestion are what we are going to do. Our finally choice of date and memorial to laugh and cry

[possum220]

Awww Starlite.... Right now my brain is numb. Words wont come. My thoughts are with you... xx

[Crew]

Our sweet (((((Starlight))))) Starbright!!1

I am so very sorry for your pain... I understand grief and sorrow with things sometimes not finished.

I wish you well dear friend...and know were here if you need Us.

ThaCrew

[thunderbear]

Starlite

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

[VickiesPath]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, Starlite. I was in England and everything was such a mess and now my own MIL has passed away after we got home. So, hubby's going back day after tomorrow and the arrangements have been hell.

I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I will send prayers your way and hope for an easing of your sadness. God be with you and your sisters at this time... Vickie

Originally Posted by Vickie in Phoenix

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, Starlite. I was in England and everything was such a mess and now my own MIL has passed away after we got home. So, hubby's going back day after tomorrow and the arrangements have been hell.

I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I will send prayers your way and hope for an easing of your sadness. God be with you and your sisters at this time... Vickie

Warm thoughts I send to you Vickie. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Glad you're home safely. Sincerely Starlite

[(JD)]

My oldest sister ruined our mom's funeral... by planning it all on her own. None of the rest of us siblings were happy, because she didn't do what mom wanted. We didn't know it until too late, as she forged ahead on her own (yet had us all pay for it!)

I'm sorry for your loss. Your sister's energy will still surround you, in spite of the events surrounding her cremation and memorial.

Originally Posted by _Sky

My oldest sister ruined our mom's funeral... by planning it all on her own. None of the rest of us siblings were happy, because she didn't do what mom wanted. We didn't know it until too late, as she forged ahead on her own (yet had us all pay for it!)

I'm sorry for your loss. Your sister's energy will still surround you, in spite of the events surrounding her cremation and memorial.

From your sharing it reinstates what the mother really is.... lost in the fantasy of she being a good person: what she did at this memorial, how she emitted. I almost called and thanked her for the memoribila. Thank God the phone was busy - twice.
I almost feel into the trap - again... and it has taken far too long to come this far.
This is what Brenda deserved!
But this is what 'FACE' wanted everyone to see what wonderful thing she did for her loving daughter - BUT WHERE WAS SHE 'ALL' THE YEARS OF OUR LIVES - We were in her grasps of horror.

[kasc]

Hello Starlite,

My name is Kris. I read your post and I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you have suffered such a loss.

I do not know you well, or anyone here yet, but I am familiar with the pain of loss, and so...from one soul to another...(((hug)))).

Peace where you can find it is what I wish for you, and healing as time allows.

Love,

Originally Posted by kasc

Hello Starlite,

My name is Kris. I read your post and I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you have suffered such a loss.

I do not know you well, or anyone here yet, but I am familiar with the pain of loss, and so...from one soul to another...(((hug)))).

Peace where you can find it is what I wish for you, and healing as time allows.

Love,

Thank you for caring and I send the same to you