[Icryalone]

Hello all, I'm just trying to find someone who has gone through a loss like mine. In March it will have been a year since my best friend died. We knew each other for 7 years.

I met her after I moved to another state because of my parents divorce. She was the first girl I sat by on the school bus. Being the "New Girl" I really clung to her, she didnt have alot of friends either. We've been BEST Friends ever since. Even after high school, we got our first apartment together, worked together, did everything together. I believe we were the perfect picture of BEST FRIENDS.

Last year she started to get sick, lots of crazy symptoms and then she was finally hospitalized for 3 months. I saw her everyday. She was eventually so bad that I had to clean her up after she used the bathroom. I never thought I'd have to wipe my best friends bottom, but that really showed me how close we really were. I would have done anything for her, and I did. Luckily, we were both nursing assistants after highschool so because of that I got to do alot more with her while she was in the hospital, and believe me the hospital staff LOVED that

Anyways she finally was hooked up to life support and passed away. Not even an Autopsy showed why she died. The only guess the doctors had was it was Auto Immune related. We're talking about a 20 year old girl, gone for no reason. It blows my mind and makes moving on very difficult.

Anyone else lose a best friend? I can't even seem to let myself get close to any other friends this past year.....I just don't know what to do......The only comfort I find is knowing she believed, I was the one that invited her to church for the first time, and I'm glad I did. God I miss her and I just need a friend, so I don't have to Cry Alone.

Thanks for listening

[50guy]

I lost my best friend of 27 years at the age of 40, this was 11 years ago. There are some days that go by that I do not think of him but there is not a week that goes by that I don't. Sometimes events will spark a memory of him and I end up shedding a tear for me, I miss him so much. I always thought we would be old men chasing women in the nursing home but, that won't happen.

Time will help you get used to the knowledge that your friend is gone physically but, lives forever in your heart.

[the1forgotten]

I lost a few very close friends in a short time but I lost one of my very best friends a few years back. We had known each other our whole lives cause our brothers were best friends and they met when they were 3 and we are 3 years younger then our brothers. We went to school together and were in the same class for 11 years. We were only 16 when he passed away suddenly from meningitis. It's like he was totally fine besides feeling like he had a little bug so he went to bed early and the next morning it was to late.
It takes time but in time the pain does ease and instead of crying every time you think of something funny she did you learn to laugh. I can honestly say you will probably never go a day with out remembering your best friend but with time you will find it easier to think of her everyday. Hope this helped some.
Feel free to PM me anytime. I hope you can fine peace and comfort soon.

[lynn P.]

(((Icryalone))- I'm so sorry you lost your best friend. So sad they couldn't figure out what was wrong and help her. I read your post and it was beautiful to read how you were a wonderful and true friend in the deepest sense. This is very rare to find that kind of devotion even between spouses - she was lucky to have you. She will always have a special spot in your heart always. It will take time to heal but please do find a friend again - you have special qualities and it would be a shame not to share your friendship again with someone else. You're a loving person.

Hugs to ((50guy)) and ((the1forgotten)) for the dear friends you lost.

[Icryalone]

Thanks for all your answers. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sure I will think of her everyday for the rest of my life. I guess the hard part is letting myself get close to another friend. It's really hard because I have had friends that turned out to be horrible and selfish and I have no tolerance of people like that because I know what a "True Friend" is and now I wonder if i'll ever find another one. And plus, not knowing what she died from has made me sort of a "hypochondriac", but i'm sure that will pass with time as well.

I used to go to church all the time but over the past 4 years life had gotten a little busy and I've gotten lazy, I still believe of course and pray alot. I would like to go back to church but I have found that this has hindered my faith a bit, I still believe don't get me wrong but sometimes I'm just so angry and confused that it seems easier to just give up. Anyone have any spiritual advice? Should I go back to church? I'm afraid if I do , that I will just cry the whole time and that would be embarassing .

Also, her parents had her cremated and they still have not buried her or made solid plans to spread the ashes....Sometimes I feel like things would be a whole lot better if I just had a place to go.....any advice on this?

To all those who have responded, thanks.....and I'm sorry for your losses as well , please let me know if I can help you.