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  #1  
Old Jun 17, 2005, 11:35 PM
wisewoman wisewoman is offline
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I do not want to harm anyone's feelings. I don't want to dismiss anyone's grief. That said, I have had to grieve, and am still grieving that I will never and have never had a parent who is the type of parent to love and protect and nurture. I absolutely can't understand when I see people write about grieving for their parents. I am not trying to be mean because I believe it's true and am envious but at the same time it's like a different language. My mourning is odd, I have never been cherished and been the first priority. I hate the people who put an egg and sperm together and made me. And now, reading this, today being a special day, I miss my Jane who was a nurturing older woman to me. I also miss her because I read Miss. A and am reminded of the seeking I was doing when Jane came to my life. I want to speak with her. I can but she just cant talk back.

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  #2  
Old Jun 18, 2005, 05:53 PM
darkeyes darkeyes is offline
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((((((((((((( wisewoman ))))))))))))))

Sincerely,
DE
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  #3  
Old Jun 18, 2005, 08:28 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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((((((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))))))))

With respect,
Fuzzy
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  #4  
Old Jun 18, 2005, 10:31 PM
wisewoman wisewoman is offline
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Thanks DE and fuzzy, gosh, make myself cry on that one. Today was a freezing cold day at the beach with a bit of rain and lots of wind for my daughter's graduation party. She had a ball!!! I went tubing behind a boat! I am so sore. My 84 year old friend came and spent the day and didn't complain about wet feet or anything. The ground was soaked from all of the rain, some places are flooded. I was touched that she spent the day. So, I have a lot. I have my in laws who were there part of the day. I have my kids who all seemed to have fun. 2 of them tubed also. I had a LOT of food. We have a ton of left overs because we had planned a party for 35-40 and we had about 25 due to weather. What I am saying is I guess I should look at what I have. Thanks folks.
  #5  
Old Jun 18, 2005, 10:34 PM
oksomaybeimnuts oksomaybeimnuts is offline
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  #6  
Old Jun 19, 2005, 01:50 PM
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i'm so glad that you have such a wonderful day!! pat
  #7  
Old Jun 19, 2005, 04:04 PM
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LostandLonleySoul LostandLonleySoul is offline
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I am happy that you had a good day and there are more to come. I can't say that I know what you are going through exactly, but i have no relationship with my biological mother. All I can offer is hugs and I hope you well.
  #8  
Old Jun 19, 2005, 09:17 PM
wisewoman wisewoman is offline
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Today I gave my baby her graduation present from me. When I was a young one, 16 or 17, my friend Jane gave me; "The Little Prince" . She quoted lots from it and spoke to me of taming and lonliness. When I graduated highschool I was given the only 2 things I wanted, a rose necklace with dimonds, "fake" around it, used to be my great Aunt's, and a bus trip away from where I grew up and never went back. I gave my daughter a copy of "The little Prince" and the necklace. She was very touched. Happy time. Bittersweet. Thanks again everyone.
  #9  
Old Jun 19, 2005, 10:27 PM
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MacD MacD is offline
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an egg and a sperm don't make the "contributors" your parents....don't feel guilty....I understand and I relate so much....just be grateful that you've had someone to be a nurturer....that, in itself is such a gift...(and personally, I'm so glad you were created...)...love grace
  #10  
Old Jun 20, 2005, 11:17 AM
dayzee9 dayzee9 is offline
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(((((((((wisewoman A  different grief))))))))))))))

I am sorry for your grief,this definitely IS a "different kind of grief". I myself never had any "love OR nuturing from either one of my parents.....but grieving is a natural response to loss -- whether you feel that you shouldn't.......

Take care of yourself; you set your own grieving time... A  different grief

Peace, DAYZEE9
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  #11  
Old Jun 20, 2005, 04:57 PM
wisewoman wisewoman is offline
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you guys are awesome. I came home early today because I got bad news about my friend with cancer. At the same time my son calls and tells me that his car has a lot of issues that are going to be costly to fix. I am prone to wanting to isolate myself when I feel this way. I want to hole up and be alone. I can't even celebrate that my husband's parents are here. I have known my friend is dying but today's news together with a lot of work stuff kicked my butt. He has a few weeks at best. And he has been surrogate family as well.
  #12  
Old Jun 20, 2005, 05:30 PM
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(JD) (JD) is offline
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((((WW))))) hang in there... A  different grief
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A  different grief
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  #13  
Old Jun 20, 2005, 10:13 PM
darkeyes darkeyes is offline
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(((((((((((((((((( wisewoman )))))))))))))

Please, take care.

DE
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A  different grief
  #14  
Old Jun 21, 2005, 11:55 PM
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bebop bebop is offline
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hi wisewoman. hon I have to say you are a strong woman. You grieved for your parents or lack of love your entire childhood. When they go it is like well what am I suppose to feel now right? I know I did that with my mom. Yes I too get jealous when I see other women on the board about how loving their moms are/were. I wonder what I did so wrong for her to treat me so badly. You and I did nothing wrong. luv ya
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  #15  
Old Jun 22, 2005, 07:45 AM
wisewoman wisewoman is offline
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That is truly a peace of it. Thank you
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