[Christina86]

(rattie = rat, just so y'all know. )

Today I said goodbye to Allan, my second oldest rattie. The only rat who licked me more than any dog I've ever know or met. Also the only rat that I've accidentally called "her/she/girl" more than once, poor effeminate rattie. I love you Mr. Licky McRat, aka Licky Fuzzybutt.

He was dealing with congestive heart failure, so said the vet. His heart was also beating horribly erratically so there was nothing that could be done at that point medically to prolong his life. So I had him put out of his misery, helping him to end his pain.

The vet was very nice to me, let me make the decision to have him gassed and then he was given the needle. I was there (I really shouldn't have been in hindsight) until the end.

I didn't take home his body with me (nowhere to bury him) and I didn't ask to keep his ashes. He's going to be cremated by the vet, and his ashes added to a communal urn of all of those animals who've passed on to the world beyond this one. Which I do believe there is.

Oh GOD it hurts. so. freaking. much. I've lost family pets before, but this hurts so much more since he was entirely my responsibility. He's my boy. I didn't lose it in the vets office, but I had a meltdown on the bus to school (I met with some friends since I knew I couldn't be alone) and had a meltdown at school and at a couple of other points since Saturday when I knew he wasn't going to be around much longer. I just wish the vet had been open yesterday so I could have helped him then, animals seem to know when it's a) after hours or b) a weekend or holiday to get very very sick.) *sigh*

Now I'm home and the first thing I see is that Miles & James (my other two boys) were curled up together. They basically want nothing to do with each other usually, so I think they know. It hurts so much.

I think the boys are dealing with this better than I am. Both of them have been licking me a lot and being more affectionate than they normally are. I think they already knew what was happening and accepted it (or are accepting it) much better than me who is still crying too much.

Why do I have to love a creature with an insanely short lifespan?!

It's not fair.

<3 <3 <3 RIP Allan, I love you and always will. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be. (I love that book).

I'll post some pictures in Pets, I don't want to get all sorts of spammy here.



Edit: Photos are now posted in Pets, link here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?p=1382425

[eskielover]

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Allen. He surely was special. There is nothing more wonderful than a pet rat. Their personalities are so cute & unique. Their sense of curiosity is beyond anything else & where their curiosity takes them???? Oh my, the stories I am sure you have.

Your photos show the adorable personality so very well. I can definitely understand your melt down. I understand as I was in exactly the same place when I lost each of my pet rats. They always rode around on my shoulder & were so much a part of ME unlike any other pet can be. I bet you could put together some great little stories about Allen.....sort of a memorial. I still remember the absolute adorable things about Flower & Gus & I had them back in the 70's.

Yes, sadly, their life span according to my vet was only 2 1/2 years (not hardly long enough when we get so completely attached.

We get attached to rats because they are soooo very cute not based on life span......but then, even the longest living pets can end up with short life spans. We enjoy the time that God gives us to love them. Sometimes I think that my pets are the ones that truly taught me how to feel love (my rats being a huge part of that).

Time may lessen the pain of the loss, but the memories continue for a lifetime.

Thank you for sharing your pictures....I have to say, they do bring back wonderful memories that I had with my rats also.

[blanche]

You said some wonderful things Eskielover. I'm glad that you had similar connections with your pet rats. I have never had a pet rat but can understand the reasons for loving one. The unconditional love we receive from our pets is so powerful and comforting. I can't imagine going through life without that experience.
You sound like a superior caregiver to your pets Christina. Allen was a lucky and loved part of your family.

[perpetuallysad]

Oh Christina, I am so sorry for your loss. I get very attached to my animals. My sweet Ladybug (dog) died a year ago and I still say her name at least once a day. Sigh, god, I wish I could give you a hug. I'm glad you have friends you can spend time with. I hope the pain eases with time.

[Christina86]

Thanks you all.

My ratties (and my bunny - she's the "Esther Bunny"! ) are my life so thank you. Allan is a good boy and is sorely missed. On the upside I haven't burst into tears yet today so that's a step in the right direction I think.

(Just wait... it'll happen at some really in-opportune moment just to mess with me. )

[Sabrina]

I am sorry for your loss Christina! May Allan rest in peace.

[Christina86]

Thanks Sabrina.

I still miss him.

Saturday to Tuesday was bad. The day after he was PTS (Wednesday) was very bad. Thursday/Friday were decent. Saturday was okay... until that night. Sunday was crappy. Today is stressful for many reasons so it's probably going to be bad later with me sobbing and whatnot.

Friends have said I'm coping with the grief well, I wish I felt that way.

I miss him so much. My mother also refuses to allow me to get another rat... she won't let me get ANY other pets until I've got a "real job". Sad, I live by myself but my mother still controls my life.

I miss my baby boy. My oldest rat Miles misses his buddy of almost two years. My youngest rat has been spending more time with his oldest brother, but it's so hard to watch them both look/act so depressed.

[eskielover]

I would bet that your Mother would allow you to always have a pet rather than to be completely alone. With 2 rats & Esther (will always see her name as Easter Bunny...lol), you still have your special pets to care for & that care for you......I think if it came down to the point you might be without any pets before you get "a real job" she would soften.

Sometimes Mom's say extreme comments rather than to get into specific details with all the "what if's".

It is amazing the feelings of animals. I know after I lost my first eskie, both Leo & Destiny were outside when it happened. They were angry at me & I could see they didn't want anything to do with me for a few days. I was hard enough on myself for what happened, so that was really hard. They got over that after a few days, but I didn't.

Glad your ratties have each other.....that helps them get through the missing Allen & the change in their environment until this becomes their norm. I know that animals adapt to the loss better than we do that's for sure. It's ok to grieve as long as you feel it, let it out & don't feel embarrassed about it. Mostly those who have pets understand & know the love you felt & the pain it causes.

Christina

You're post made me cry. I can relate all too well. I also lost my pet rats. My favorite one I ended up having to put down because of cancer. I still remember her all too well and still expect to see her face pop out behind the bookshelf many years later. It is so hard to lose a pet that you dearly love. ((((christina))) However although My Cocoa is not here physically she has always been with me in my heart and so will your Allen. I'm sending you warm thoughts in your time of grief.

Kat

[Yoda]

I am sorry your pet died.

[Rohag]

My deepest condolences on the passing of your friend, Christina.

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by eskielover

I would bet that your Mother would allow you to always have a pet rather than to be completely alone. With 2 rats & Esther (will always see her name as Easter Bunny...lol), you still have your special pets to care for & that care for you......I think if it came down to the point you might be without any pets before you get "a real job" she would soften.

Sometimes Mom's say extreme comments rather than to get into specific details with all the "what if's".

Eskie, thank you. I hope you're right (re: my mother) I know she doesn't like my ratties (she loves Esther Bunny though ) but without pets, I'd honestly go stir crazy. I *need* the companionship of something that doesn't talk back to me.

Thanks

Originally Posted by katlover251

Christina

You're post made me cry. I can relate all too well. I also lost my pet rats. My favorite one I ended up having to put down because of cancer. I still remember her all too well and still expect to see her face pop out behind the bookshelf many years later. It is so hard to lose a pet that you dearly love. ((((christina))) However although My Cocoa is not here physically she has always been with me in my heart and so will your Allen. I'm sending you warm thoughts in your time of grief.

Kat

Thanks Kat. Cancer would be really hard. Part of the reason I got boys actually (besides the energy factor, girls apparently are uber active!) is because they're less prone to cancers than girl ratties. I'm sorry.

Cocoa is a cute name, I hope Allan is having fun with all of his new buddies up there... apparently I know a lot of people who've had rats!

[Christina86]

Thank you (((((((((((((All)))))))))))))))) a whole bunch for your condolences, stories and similar experiences. Thanks for the love and the hugs too!

It's been easier. Which makes me feel lousy like I'm getting over him quickly. Which I know isn't true, and that grief comes in waves... but it's not fun.

My oldest rat Miles has now decided to basically stop moving almost altogether. I take them out to play and he just lies there and mopes. He's still "alive" but he's... depressed? Maybe I'm anthropomorphizing. Either that or I'll be saying goodbye to another rugrat soon because he is about 2-3 months older than Allan was.

[Cthomas]

Christina, I know ive not been around much, but I saw this and wanted to extend my condolences on allan. its hard to lose a pet. I feel the same way about my dog. Heres hoping you find peace in the time to come.
Colleen

[eskielover]

Their life span is about 2 1/2 years. Both my rats ended up having cancer, but I was still able to have them both almost 2 1/2 years anyway. I believe that all critters, whether short lived or not deserve to have good parents.....I just had to accept that life span & enjoy every minute I could with them. I wish all pets could live endlessly

without pets, I'd honestly go stir crazy. I *need* the companionship of something that doesn't talk back to me.

I am exactly the same way. I have never lived without a pet except maybe the first year when I was married & before I got my second rat for my pet free apartment. However, as for the having something that doesn't talk back to me, I'm not sure that is really possible. It seemed that every pet I had let me know if they didn't like something. My dogs are the worst for this however or maybe I should say the best. I have 6 American Eskimo dogs that all communicate with me about everything. They let me know exactly what they don't like. I will sit & talk to Leo if I don't like something he's done, & if he doesn't like what I say, he will put his paw on my face. That's also his way of saying I'm sorry. When Tawny wants my attention she will climb up next to me on my bed then end up in my lap, pawing at me for attention & shoving me with her head. The strange thing is that Leo has horrible separation anxiety & he's never been separated from me other than when he broke his leg & ended up in the vet's office overnight. His way of talking back if I leave him home alone for any length of time is to terrorize my house. I have to attach him to a leash with nothing around him while I'm gone. It seems so cruel, but he will destroy anything within his reach otherwise just trying to get to me. He will remind me if I haven't fed them....he is sort of the spokes person for all 6 of the eskies. I know I would go crazy if I didn't have them in my life even with their talking back...lol.

I am sure that Miles is just feeling the change in his environment. I don't know if your summers are hot, but I know that the change in temperature with the heat also slows them down so they don't want to run around as much. I know this hotter weather has slowed down my dogs. Don't have a working AC right now, so we are all laying around in the heat of the day trying to stay cool in front of the fan.

How is James doing? His behavior is a good comparison for if there is something going on with Miles. They should be similar in their activity. I found that adding plain yogurt to their diet, was a good thing. It helps against any cancer also. My vet said that cancer is the normal thing for rats to end up with but if you add cancer free foods to their diet, it can only help. I even did that with my guinea pigs. I figured that even if I could prolong their life by a few months of healthy living, that was a wonderful thing.

I have been giving my dogs flax seed & yogurt in their food....wow, such healthy coats & dogs. I could see the change in just the 2 months of giving it to them. The food we feed our pets really does make a difference also in their life span. Who would think that what you buy in the store especially prepared for them isn't enough? I always hated yogurt until I started giving it to my dogs. I kept licking the spoon & soon, I was buying cartons of plain yogurt just for myself....now I'm hooked.

Hope Miles is well & is just feeling the weather or the change in his communal environment. There isn't anything more special in our lives than our pets....I find they are the only real JOY I have. I enjoy many things in my life, but real Joy comes from my babies & like you, would go crazy without them. I need someone to talk to (other than myself) & to share with......only my pets can fill that need.