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#1
Apr 05, 2010, 10:21 PM
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I am not sure where to put this so I put it here. Please move if in wrong place.......
AJ is devestated... His best friend from high school committed suicide this past week.. Is a shock to everyone...His friend "Matt" had a fight with his girlfriend and I won't go in to details here, he just up and committed suicide.. AJ is not dealing with this at all... He is a wreck...He does not know what to do and I don't know what to do to help AJ.. AJ has mixed feelings. Anger... and devestated...I hope we all get through this.. Because I loved Matt too........I am worried about AJ tho.... They introduced each other always as "this is AJ, my brother" or "this is Matt, my little brother"... Matt was just here when we had the snow storm... He calls me mom, his second mom.. He has the greatest smile. And he smiled always...He was a great person...No warning whatsoever that anything like would happen..He always had it together, it seemed.......OH GOD! Matt, why? why? YOU had so much to live for. tears This is so hard to deal with.....and even harder for AJ..........Matt's family is devestated....... Everyone is a mess just trying to find a way to deal with this 
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#2
Apr 05, 2010, 10:28 PM
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Someone I loved, a 41 year old man, committed suicide 5 months ago. The pain is great. Maybe even more so when it is a young person with their whole life ahead of them, though it's a horrible pain regardless. An important thing to remember is there is no why. There is no why that you will ever understand. Pain. That is the common denominator in suicide. Pain that we can't imagine and they could not live with. Yes, we can see other ways, but they couldn't. Anger? Oh you bet! You and your son will be angry, then you will be mad at yourselves for being angry. You will be sad. You will be devastated. Then you will be angry again. Angry for all you will miss with this person, angry for them cheating you and them out of a life together. Angry for the pain they have caused. You may go through thoughts such as it's the "easy way out" then feel bad for thinking that because it isn't. There are so many things you will feel. Guilt should not be one of them....let the "if onlys" go if you have any. He was hurting and scared and didn't know what to do. I was told, after he died, that he went to safety, to where he knew he would always be safe and not hurt or struggle anymore. Sometimes that helped, sometimes it didn't. When you don't know what to say to your son, don't say anything. Hold him.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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 Catherine2, radio_flyer
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#3
Apr 06, 2010, 12:56 AM
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There should be something to help in dealing with a suicide...so devastating for everyone.
Yet having been suicidal myself I do understand the pain. I also understand acting on impulse. Perhaps that is what happened to this young man. I will be sending prayers for all in these next difficult days.
__________________
Blessings..Sue  Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. |
| radio_flyer
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#4
Apr 06, 2010, 10:39 AM
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My heart goes to you and your son.
Maybe this will help?? http://www.amazon.com/Living-Young-F.../dp/0807025038
__________________
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| radio_flyer
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#5
Apr 06, 2010, 10:56 AM
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((Radio Flyer))
 - my heart goes out to you and your son. What a tragedy to waste a life.
__________________
 This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
| radio_flyer
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#6
Apr 06, 2010, 11:04 AM
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I'm so sorry!!!! Give him a BIG hug for me!!
Is he feeling a little bit better today? I know, the pain takes awhile to go away.. Suicide's such a touchy topic, but so VERY sad.. My condolences to you, your son, and Matt's family. |
| radio_flyer
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#7
Apr 06, 2010, 11:41 AM
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Quote:
It wasnt your fault what happened.
__________________
“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron |
| radio_flyer
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#8
Apr 06, 2010, 01:12 PM
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You have my sympathy as this had to be such a shock to you and your son. I hope you can both talk about Matt and what he meant to you and hold each other close.
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#9
Apr 06, 2010, 01:29 PM
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Thank you so much, cantstopcrying, for your compassionate, heartfelt post. Explaining that anger goes along with the pain helped me understand better why one minute I am agry and the next minute in tears..
When I think of Matt, I see his smiling face.. I can still see him walking in the room. His shoulders always back and his chest out. A walk of confidence. A gentle personality, but not a push over...Always smiling...Only flashy thing about him was his smile.. If he were here right now, I'd smack him for even thinking suicide.. :*( then hug him............ I am sorry that this kind of tragedy touched your life too.....so very sad..... |
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#10
Apr 06, 2010, 07:27 PM
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My heart aches for you and your son..... Crew
__________________
later |
| radio_flyer
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#11
Apr 07, 2010, 12:39 AM
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How terrible. I am so sorry for all of you. I wish I had words of wisdom but all I can send is hugs.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
| radio_flyer
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#12
Apr 07, 2010, 12:59 PM
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Am sorry I don't have a lot to say on this thread...Just sometimes I just don't have the "words". I appreciate all your caring responses......
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#13
Apr 08, 2010, 09:42 AM
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(((( RadioFlyer ))))
I am so sorry you and your son and family are going through with this. One of my daughter's best friends also committed suicide in January. His birthday is coming up. His friends will get together and honour him. We all miss him and shock and grief are both our companions, albeit it lessening daily. Praying peace for all of us. Hunny
__________________
 “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
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#14
Apr 08, 2010, 06:15 PM
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I am so sorry too that your daughter and you also have experienced this tragedy.... Sooooooooo very sad...soo very sad... :*(
(((((((((hunny and daughter))))))))))) |
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#15
Apr 09, 2010, 03:54 AM
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Thank you Radioflyer. It is not a feel-sorry-for-self-thing but it is a lot what I consider suffering so please do take special care of yourself and you child. It is a teachable time but oh, dear at what a cost.
Peace, Hunny
__________________
“Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
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