one year too soon

I have not been able to come here at all and I apologize to each of you with grief issues for not being here for you lately.

First off I am approaching the one year Mark of my very dear friend's death. She was many things to me and it seems, as much as I hate the word MOTHER, she had a maternal role in my life. She was a teacher, she taught me so much about being human and alive. I still can't believe she is gone and the pain at writing this is almost unbearable. I need to go to her river and swim before it cools more. My son is moving home next weekend but I think I am going to go, maybe take my youngest and camp there. My pain now is right here. so powerful.

Other grieving, loss of daughter, loss of relationship with another daughter, loss of youth and the thoughts of youth that anything is possible.

Alone, no one can really bail me out. Why is life so hard.

Please remember my dear friend Jane.

((((((((((((wisewoman))))))))))

Take care of you right now.

((((((((((((((((((((((jane)))))))))))))))))))))))

I remember your post about her and it touched me so deeply. I am sorry your hurting so much. I think going on your little trip for a swim in her river is a great idea. Remember her with a smile.

((((((((((((((((WW))))))))))))))))))

wow you have many losses, all at once..I feel I know your friend just by reading about her, and I feel she is special..you are a blessing to psychcentral and I pray for any tyoe of comfort at all to you.

oh you all make me greatful for being here and I feel less alone with this and the pain. Can't go this weekend, maybe next? spouse away and animals to sit. Still can't find my bag with the picture in it.

i distinctly remember your post about her....you are in my prayers and thoughts. you'll be able to go camp there and commune with her. xoxox pat

((((((((((((((((((((Jane))))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((ww))))))))))))))))))))))))

Yes, I need to speak with her. Today I felt closer. She is here with me.