[desirae]

When my Grandmother Kathy passed away May 2, 2005, the glue that was holding all of our family together unstuck that day as well. Without my Grandmother my family would have dissolved many years ago, and I may have never known many of them. But fortunately through her strength......and really cool way of manipulating, we all stuck together, even through the roughest of times.

Now that Grandma's gone a lot of relationships I once had with family no longer exist. For one example, my Grandfather (moms dad) acts as though we no longer exist. He doesn't even wish to talk to me or replies to me emails and phone messages. Another is my Aunt Susie, she's gone on with her life and has left us behind as well.

There's many more who have also dissipated along with the passing of Grandma. It feels as though I lost all my family....and even some of their sanities....in an tragic airplane accident.

That has a lot to do with my loneliness and grief as well.

i am so sorry, desirae. i can understand how you would feel that you've lost more than just your grandmother. my heart goes out to you, love, pat

[ilisten]

Hey! I'm sorry for you loss. I know how you are feeling. My grandma passed away on april 1st 2006 and since then my family has just fallen apart. My grandpa passed before her and I know she missed him so I keep thinking well even though the family is apart shes happy. Maybe your grandpa really misses you grandma!! I can't tell you if time will help I'm not sure.. but use your family of friends for support and get together with them more often. They will be there for you, I promise

[deedee1122]

Dear desarie, I have had many losses from finding out that my now teenage Son and who is my only child, is mentaly disabled, which is a very big loss to a mother, to the loss of my husband. I am now remarried, but the grieving process must be delt with head on and the everyone grieves differently and most loved ones, do not want to face the P word "pain". I'ts inconvient, embarrasing at times, and well it just isn't fun. Yuk,! But the reason they all have vanished in their own way is for that reason, and you may want to talk about it and they may be avoiding you for that reason, you want to bring up the pain and deal with it, but unfortunatly they do not. Your doing the right thing, if you are dealing with your loss now and I hope you will find a greiving support group to do it in as well as reading books on "how to greive. IIt will be an ongoing process but in the long run it is well worth it .I hope you will one day be able to get the message through to them...The main thing is ..take good care, deedee1122

[PasDeDeux]

I am sorry for your loss and the loss of many others in here. I know when my mom died our family also seemed to fall apart in many ways. Some never bothered with holidays anymore I know the pain and am sorry for yours. I have no way to help you because we didn't do so well with the same issue. Maybe TRY to keep in touch even if they do not reply and go see them. That MAY make them cave in and let your love back in

[eskielover]

I know that death causes many different relations in our lives. I know when my Mother died Jan 2005, I was able to contact everyone that was left in the family. I was in the hospital myself while trying to arrange my Mothers funeral (I was the only one left in our family). I had to keep the actual funeral to only family & very close friends because of the trauma situation that happened a month before she died. Everyone was great & supportive at the funeral, & I haven't heard from them since then. It's like they disappeared off the face of this earth & we only see each other for weddings & funerals. My Grandfather & grandmother on my Mom's side only had one sibling each...& my mother & father were both only children & so am I & so is my daughter. That makes our family very small & the only one close that is left is my daughter.

The one thing that has happened though was that the wife of my 3rd cousin gave me a call because she is trying to put together the family ancestory & wanted to know if I had found anything when going through my mothers home. We have since become close & it is very awsome to realize that I do have family left.

I think if you take is slowly & communicate with those family members you think you have lost, you may find out that they aren't lost after all. They have their own families & busy lives, but I am sure that they will also realize that family is important & may not be quick in responding, but if you keep up communications, they will be there too. I realize that family is important & it really feels lonely to realize that you don't have any.....so keep up the communications....don't push, but gently keep it going......I am sure they will respond when they have time.....

Don't give up,
Debbie

[GrandpasGrl]

I'm sorry to hear that. It reminds me of how I fell out of contact with my maternal family after my great-grandparents deaths(since my parents divorced and my father received custody they were the reason we all remained close). I know to an extent of what you're going through . I hope everything works out for you, just remember that everything takes time...

[hillbunnyb]

i fear the same for my family when my Mom goes.... i don't know what to do either. so sorry you have so many hard experiences to integrate. darn.