[Rhapsody]

I think I am finally going through the ANGER stage of all that has been lost in my marriage.... and this anger is directed at whom else, but my husband - for his addictive personality took many things away from our once innocent love.

... I think I have retreated from him emotionally - due to this ANGER!!

... Does this make sense? What will come next? What do I have to look forward to?


Thanks....
LoVe,
Rhapsody - (and)

I guess communication is the key. If you are angry at him (which makes sense), he might not understand and the situation could deteriorate. Keeping it all inside is also hell and will only gnaw at you. Have you tried talking to him about it? About you feeling left out & basically just needing him to be a little (more) romantic etc.

Of course, without being accusatory, just to reminisce the good times and how to recapture them because you miss that and you *need* that. I don't know how he usually is with you but maybe he just needs a little ‘reminder’... Is he receptive or willing to do so?

[Rhapsody]

No he knows........................... 10 years of knowing and going strong - plus there are other issues besides the "being left out" thing that we must heal from.... just check my list of threads that I have posted if you do not know the entire story.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Rhapsody]

I am just soooooooooooooo filled with ANGER toward him right now that we have not really interacted with each other for about a week now (upsetting event that took place last week - caused resonation).... now he is on his side of the bed and I am on my side of the bed, that which is safe right now.... at least for ME.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( i NEED help )))

[froggie2]

I know its not funny but i had to chuckle. You can't feel love if your mad. And mad is O.K. and healthy. Hope you can talk it out and feel better.

[froggie2]

I apologise if i took a too lighthearted approach.
I don't know the story but just now caught an idea that you need more than your getting. I've been there. 13 years of it. He wouldn't talk and I talked too much. It was pretty lonely.

[Rhapsody]

Are YOU still with him.................... ?

[Rhapsody]

Right now I am just feeling so distant and withdrawn..... seeing him or being with / around him leaves me feeling anxious these past few days.... some kind of resonation I guess? - So LOST!!

Confused...
LoVe,
Rhapsody -

(((((Rhapsody))))) I know so many women who feel the way you do with their marriages. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.

[EJ711]

Rhapsody,

I think it's good that you're dealing with your anger towards your husband's behavior.

Hugs,

EJ

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
EJ711 said:
Rhapsody,

I think it's good that you're dealing with your anger towards your husband's behavior.

Hugs,

EJ

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">



THANK YOU.......................... EJ - for seeing the positive in all this and not just a mere marital problem.... but rather a solution being sought through the anger, hence the acknowledgment of it - no more hiding.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs ))

[EJ711]

Hi Rhapsody,

I think expressing anger can clear the way for healing.

Hugs and love,

EJ

[froggie2]

No I left, after 13 years of lonliness. I thought I was too needy and tried to be busy and join activities. He didn't talk , wouldn't go to counselling, never wanted to do anything with me. I never realised that to not touch or talk was a form of mental cruelty. I stayed because of the kids .Big mistake. They didn't get the best of me because I was always trying to get closer to him. I wonder now if he was depressed. But if He wouldn't talk what could I do.?A marriage is two people. He was never home and would have days off work always different.from me. He didn't want to do anything and if I did he would make me feel so quilty. Today I have a bf who listens and is there for me no matter what. We have so much fun and there is lots of laughter and loving and respect. We both love to dance and sing and garden and bike. We have had a couple of spats in the last 3 1/2 years but we talk and usually end up laughing because of something we miscommunicated. Our thoughts and ideas are usually on the same page. Something I never really understood when I was young was that marriage and relationships are like waves. We get closer and closer and then at times we may be busy and a little more distant and then the next wave comes and we are so close again. My ex. never grabbed the wave. He wasn't affectionate, didn't want sex. He never said he loved me. I wondered why he married me. My relationship now is so sharing. I get flowers and told I am loved everyday. We both help each other and are there for each other. I wouldn't care if I never got flowers because he shows me how much he loves in many ways. This is long. If you want to talk p.m me.

[razeljenny]

I pray for him to be more helpful. I pray for him to share more of the affection that you love getting and to know that you want more affection. I know you are telling him how much you trust and respect him and that builds up his valor. I don't know why I say this but life is like an opera. The best ones you have to add a pinch of drama into, and razzle and stacatto also, ; than it takes on it's life of it's own without any work. It usually (has to start out "corney"-than it got started) I am suggesting you try that path because guys just love that, even though if you asked them they would laugh and tell you other wise, guys like it a lot. It's like the I love Lucy and the Honey Mooners, I sware that could be it so corney, simple and hokey pokey are they, but meltable like a stick of butter and luscious no matter how many years older they got, they are big mushies, even the meanest ones, are like melted butter on corn, at the show on saturday afternoon. Men loved being real old fashioned. Even the hip guys just want to revert to it like papa knows best, leave it to beaver, and mayberry rfd. sweet sweet sweet pie eatin men, boys eatin cookies an milk, real men ar jus lil boys breakin windows, yup, that's what they are. sure enough ..........................