[momofanangel]

I lost my son about 5 1/2 years ago. I have always had depression, but it has never been this bad. I think about suicide a lot and I cut my arms. I haven't cut in a long time, I know it's addictive and had to stop. Now I tell someone when I feel like doing it. No one knows the thoughts that go through my head, they would lock me up for sure if they did. Has anyone here lost an adult child? My son was 35 and I can't imagine living the rest of my life without him. Most of the time I just wish I would never wake up in the morning.

[kaliope]

hi momofanangel
I can tell you are devastated by the loss of your son, but don't worry about your thoughts. I am sure they are normal for somebody hurting as much as you are. don't be afraid to share them here. they will not shock anybody and it will probably make you feel better to express them. so please, share what you are feeling so you can get feedback from others and know that you are not alone. take care.

[Muppy]

momofanangel, I am the mom of 2 angels. My youngest son was killed in a hospital overdose on 11/1/10. Jordan was 24. And this past February 5, my oldest son, Graham (32), committed suicide. I do know your pain. I have never been a cutter, but I think I have just a glimmer of understanding because Graham was a cutter and also my dear friend IRL is a cutter and struggles with this. I've had problems with depression for years. I don't know YOUR thoughts but I suspect we share many. It's a life of pain. I hope that somehow we can both find some relief.

[(JD)]

[Blue Iris]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My daughter died one month ago. She was 23. I also have suffered from depression most of my life, as have my three daughters. The pain of losing a child is almost unbearable, as you know. I would like to curl up in my bed and never move, but I realized that there are people counting on me to be here, as I'm sure there are for you. I talk to my daughter and remember her laughter. It keeps me sane. I also have to make sure to take my meds and take care of myself. When she died, people brought alcohol, telling me that I will need it. I quickly realized that the alcohol made everything worse. I miss her so much. I know that ten years from now, I'll still be missing her. But I feel her with me, as long as I keep her memory alive and remember her laughter, she's still a part of my life. I hope this helps you a little, its just my way of coping right now. Please remember that you are not alone in this journey.

Big hugs to you!

Originally Posted by momofanangel

I lost my son about 5 1/2 years ago. I have always had depression, but it has never been this bad. I think about suicide a lot and I cut my arms. I haven't cut in a long time, I know it's addictive and had to stop. Now I tell someone when I feel like doing it. No one knows the thoughts that go through my head, they would lock me up for sure if they did. Has anyone here lost an adult child? My son was 35 and I can't imagine living the rest of my life without him. Most of the time I just wish I would never wake up in the morning.

[avlady]

My son attempted suicide about a month ago, but survived. I know your pain too as my sister committed suicide in 1987. it is so heartwrenching, even still. My son is very depressed and i fear he'll try it again, i am so anxious now and feel so bad for him, and the circumstances that led to it. He lost his girlfriend car because of an accident, and job because he was drinking on the job. He is becoming an alcoholic, but not so much anymore i hope. They put him on meds. Please pray for him.

Originally Posted by avlady

My son attempted suicide about a month ago, but survived. I know your pain too as my sister committed suicide in 1987. it is so heartwrenching, even still. My son is very depressed and i fear he'll try it again, i am so anxious now and feel so bad for him, and the circumstances that led to it. He lost his girlfriend car because of an accident, and job because he was drinking on the job. He is becoming an alcoholic, but not so much anymore i hope. They put him on meds. Please pray for him.

i will pray for your son and also you

momofanangel, i am sorry for your loss

[Gus1234U]

grieving is hard work, and those holes will last forever.... like missing teeth.
the mind has a way of magnifying what it's focused on, so sometimes it's good to look away, recharge our mental wellness. feel no guilt for this, no remorse; it is ok to be the survivor~