How long until I can visit the grave?

My mother died 9 months ago, and I haven't been to her grave site yet, even though it's only a mile away. Is this normal?!? My dad is coming to town tomorrow, and wants to go there with me...but I don't know if I can go yet. But I haven't let on to him that I'm struggling. I was the one who had to be strong through my mom's illness and then her death...so I suppose I should just suck it up and go.

You might find you are able to do it for him, because you have played that role...but if you really feel you can't...let him know...everyone grieves in their own way and time, this is normal.
Or, maybe try to go alone before he comes (or with someone if that is better)---thinking about doing something like this is sometimes worse than the actual act of going...goes out to you

So Sorry for your loss. I feel for you. I finally visited my mom's grave after a year, only recently. It was still very hard, but I'm glad I did. I think (hope) it will be easier the next time.
Winter is right, we all do this in our own way.
It will probably be important that you take your dad, so maybe be prepared.

I might go before he comes, put some fresh flowers there, spend a little time, so that it won't be so emotional when you are there with him. That's just me.
Lot's of hugs to you.

Thanks, both of you. I was thinking that I should go first by myself, so what you said affirms that. Part of the problem is that I'm frustrated with my dad (for several reasons - one being that he just got remarried, and it's too soon!) so I don't want him to "take" my first time going by going with me! So going first alone is a good idea, I think. I need to get over the mind block I have at some point, anyway.

I think your planning on going by yourself first will be good idea. Sounds like you have a lot to work through. Have you considered counseling? I think you might benefit with a grief counselor and that would include your dad remarrying so soon.