[Annachies]

It is with great pain that I post here. I have searched out a place where I can write about the loss of my 35 y.o. daughter this past July 6 and not be judged, but rather be supported.

I cannot get any support from my family at this time. They are big Christians and just want to believe it is "God's Will" and I should not dig into and question what actually took her life. I am just not at that point.... HOW do you GET to that point???

It is so incredibly complex that it would take me forever to post all the details of her untimely death here, but my main question is this -

When a death like my daughter's occurs, how do people (friends, family and co-workers) no longer support me in my quest for answers and the truth? Why do they just want to label it a certain way (as if that is the way it happened) and then feel that I should just move on?

I already know the standard answers you all will give me such as: it didnt happen to them, so therefore they don't understand; or - you must cut them some slack because they just don't get it; or - they are Christians are ALL accepting; or - whatever, whatever....

I am mad / P-ed off and I don't care who knows it! Is that so wrong? This is MY grief and MY fight for the truth...THEY all don't care.

I have quit posting on Facebook and I always took all my inner most thoughts and feelings to that site for support thru this tragedy. NOW, I feel like I have to quit doing that because their blatant "disregard" and NOT "clicking like" or commenting on anything having to do with my daughter's untimely, shocking death (that I post about) makes me CRAZY!

Am I alone in feeling like this? Maybe I already know some of you from other grief sites... I probably do.. Forgive me for being repetitive. I am just looking for some support and advice.

Thank you.

[gayleggg]

I am so sorry you are having to go through all this alone. I understand your anger and the need for more answers. I'm also sorry I don't really have any answers for you. Grief in some cases takes a long time to process. And if I were in your shoes I'm not sure I could ever recover. The only thing I could suggest is that you get a counselor trained in grief counseling to help you find your answers. I do know my heart goes out to you.

[Gus1234U]

knowledge is small comfort. seeking it can only delay acceptance and mourning. likely you have heard that far too many times,,, i have nothing else to offer~

[patches4.0]

Gus

One of my girlfriends disappeared with my child 23 years ago, he was an infant then. I don't think I will ever get over the loss. I know that's of no help to you but felt the need to let it out. I hope your family comes to there senses and realize what a good person you are.

James

[winter4me]

Grieve as you grieve, be true to yourself. I find it disturbing that "Christian" people around you would not be supportive at this time. I do think you should find a group for those who have lost children, and maybe someone just for you so that you can Know that others can be there for you, and understand.
Also, you will find support here. I am so sorry, this is a terrible loss. You need to do what you need to do in order to move on, but you won't "get over" this. It is human to mourn...

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by patches4.0

Gus

One of my girlfriends disappeared with my child 23 years ago, he was an infant then. I don't think I will ever get over the loss. I know that's of no help to you but felt the need to let it out. I hope your family comes to there senses and realize what a good person you are.

James

I am so sorry. I don't see how you could "get over" this loss. The 'what ifs' and 'where is...' don't stop.
Glad too that you are doing ok these days.

[Rzay4]

I can totally relate to how you're feeling...searching for answers. I was in my mid teens when my older brother died. Even though I knew the details I wanted more. I never got closure since it was a closed casket, etc.

My family discouraged me from looking they also being religious...God's plan.

It took me eight years to get more information and my family expect a couple don't know I always continued looking.

[Pierro]

You are grieving for the loss of your daughter and I dont think you ever get over it. You just learn to live with it and hopefully come to some type of acceptance. My brother died last year and I see my dad is tormented over his death. Of course you are angry and you probably will be for a long time. Is there anyone in your family that you can be this honest with. But to be frank I found that I could be more honest here on PC. Best wishes to you