[Gus1234U]

one of the greatest felt losses of my life was the realization that i was no longer my former self, no longer 'normal', no longer OK. i grieved with the help of a good counselor for 3 years. finally i could get past exploring the disfigurement of my self perception, and begin to truly move on to my recovery.

i hope any of you who have not given yourself permission to grieve, if you are truly feeling bereft, will find the support you need to do so ~!

best wishes~
Gus



may the spirit of comfort and care be with you ~

[SeekerOfLife]

I am not sure what normal is.....Perhaps my ailings are not as serious as some people here. Yet, I have been in therapy two years, and I feel I am starting to be ok with who I am. I consider myself on the road to recovery, but I know I am not yet ready to let go of T's hand. I wish with all my heart I had seen the need of therapy long, long ago. Best wishes.

[Fuzzybear]

[gayleggg]

Your question has given me a lot to think about. I'm not sure I've ever grieved it or not. I know that I am not normal and will never be normal again, even if I have small patches where I feel okay. I lost the me that loved excitement and was ready to go and experience everything. I lost the child like qualities that gave me many happy moments over the simplest things. I think the thoughts of being that person is buried under the depression. I will not see her again. Maybe I do need to grieve the loss. Thanks for bringing up the subject.

[SeekerOfLife]

I think grieving is a normal part of life. When I was a child, and a young adult, I would not allow myself to grieve for anyone or anything. I spent MANY years stuffing all that hurt down inside. Eventually, there is no more room. It must be dealt with or someone may explode (me?).

[blind horizon]

My grieve is: I can't do those simple things that others do so easily!

What an excellent question. Yes. I do grieve for my lack of normality.

[Little Lulu]

When I had a 'breakdown' about 13 years ago, I longed for things to go back to the way they 'before'. I was pretty open about my feelings back then and I cried a lot. I also blamed myself ... I had been unnecessarily pushing myself (low self-esteem stuff) very hard and was way overextended prior to my collapse . So yes, I certainly was aware of what I had lost and grief was part of it. I had guilt to let go of, too.

With therapy and a support group I attend weekly, I am so much better now and for that I am very grateful. I can recognize when I am not where I want to be now but I no longer have to STAY stuck in the mire of negativity.

Thanks Gus - interesting thread.

[awesomeness05]

Oh my goodness, Yes!!!

When I meet new people, I don't like to answer personal questions because I want to seem normal. For awhile I'd try to talk about my grandpa as if he were still here, almost, cause I didn't want people to know.

Then there's always those same questions you know are coming, about your parents. and then you try to find a way around saying "one of my parents has dementia."

So, yes, and I think its common too!

[RTerroni]

I sort of wish that I was normal at all in some way since I know I am not.

[Gus1234U]

angels wept~

[lizardlady]

Good question Gus!

In terms of my mental health problems, I'm in a better place now than I was when I started meds and therapy. I don't grieve the mess I was back then. I'm grateful to the person I was then for getting the help she needed. Does that make sense?

I also struggle with fibro and chronic fatigue. I go through cycles of grieving over both. There are times I am able to accept what I am no longer able to do. Then there are times I rage (internally) about what they have taken from me. I know the raging doesn't help anything. I'm trying to find a way of accepting the limitations. Not easy though.

[liveforfish]

I grieve for the loss my grown children's MI has caused for them.
I miss the happy kids they used to be, the missed opportunities in life, the normalcy they don't have, and their unknown futures.

Will they ever be able to cope. Will they ever be able to live alone. I grieve for them.

[shortandcute]

I don't think I've ever been normal--I have grieved over that fact many times.

[jerryhack]

ya.whish I could control the times