The entire side of my dad's family

So, I posted on FB about the fact that I was abused as a child and am volunteering for an event to support survivors.

My brother wrote a scathing post on my page. He called me a compulsive liar, attention seeker and other words and names I cannot put on here, but they were the worst of the worst. He even went as far as to name people, something I did NOT do.

My step-aunt got on there and said her father never did anything to me and that my step-mom was a great mother, etc.

The post was 30 posts long. My brother called me a RAPIST! When I called him out on it, he would not speak of it. He just said that he forgave me a long time ago. I BEGGED him to tell me what I did. He called me a VERY foul name and disowned me. I have now lost almost every single family member on my dad and step-mom's side.

I was shipped off at the age of 12 because I was uncontrollable. I did do some horrible things, but rape is inconceivable to me!

I now have lost about 25 people from my life. It's difficult, but I think it would be harder, had they been in my life more. My biggest loss is my sister and niece. I will never see them again and never talk to them again. This is going to eat me up.

The "rape" incident is devastating me...to think that I did that and don't remember anything about it....*sigh*

This kind of behavior is common in dysfunctional families. Seek out other people to support you and ignore those ignorant loyalists.

dissociation is a very sad fact of life, for those of us who were unbalanced for whatever reason as kids, or even as adults. those many times where we were 'blacked out' and didn't ever find out it was happening, or didn't believe or understand,, those things can never be made right~ sadly, what we may remember as abuse, others might have felt were our 'just deserts'. i know my family believed in teaching by the use of pain.

however~! this is now. you are a different person. it sounds like you have calmed down a lot, and you are finding meaning in helping others. are any of your family doing that ? doesn't sound like it. you are the better person for your work to become one.

i understand your grief. loss is never easy to bear. we are social creatures, needing close ties to feel safe. i hope you find those ties among people like yourself, who are working for a better world, and a better self~!

I am sorry your family treated you this way. Sending you hugs ...

Understand have a family like this. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. Facebook is deffinitly not the place to air family grievances. It will take time for adjustment and who knows some may even let the stuff you brother said go and choose forgive anything you MAY have done. Best wishes.

Thanks everyone. I talked to my T today (with my husband by my side) and even though I was sobbing uncontrollably she kept reiterating that I was a child who was only doing what I was taught. She had to keep telling me that we don't know what REALLY happened because my brother was too much of a coward to tell me what may, or may not have happened. I was thinking the worst of the worst and couldn't see anything else. I was VERY cloudy headed. At times I had to have her ask questions over and over again because my mind was so busy that I, literally, couldn't hear her.
I think I should add that I have had about 9 hours of sleep the past few days, even with ALL of my meds. Meds that would knock the average person out for 10-12 hours.
So, the lack of sleep, the exhaustion, the dissociating that I did....it fueled my fire and honestly don't know what I would have done if it weren't for her and my husband being there...reminding me to breathe, reminding me that I am NOT the person I was as a helpless, defenseless child.
*sigh* I feel better now!!!