Momma Co

My neighbor, Momma Co, is probably the best person I have ever met. In the 3 1/2 years I have known her, she has been the living epitamy of love, kindess, and wisdom. She is a true lady and has "class" written all over her.

Momma started out scrubbing people's floors on her hands and knees, washing their clothes, and diapering their babies. She worked, put up with an abusive husband, and raised three children. Momma also put herself through school and went on to become a supervisor at a hospital. She went back to the same school and became an adult class teacher.

Momma is a pillar of the community and is so beloved at church and by all who know her. I am so proud to be called Momma's baby, even though she is not my real Mom.

I am so blessed to have had her sweet, but firm influence in my life these past three and a half years.

Momma's health has been declining. She just worked too hard for too many years. I have found her and had to call the paramedics several times.

This Thanksgiving Momma went with a friend to visit the friend's relatives in Maryland. Thanksgiving night Momma got up in the night and became confused. She fell down the stairs and suffered horrible injuries.

I received a call this morning from the family. The only thing keeping Momma alive are the machines. Momma never wanted to live that way. They are going to turn the machines off soon, and Momma will pass.

When I am feeling especially small and afraid, I go to the cupboard and get out an old, scratched melamine bowl that Momma let me have. I eat something out of the bowl and think of what advice Momma would give to me about whatever's bothering me and I always feel better.

After the funeral, after the family comes and takes all her things, I will still have my little, beaten up and scarred bowl, and more importantly, I know I will still have sweet Momma Co in my heart.

Jan
the grieving

That's just beautiful, Jan.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Oh Pet, I have to be so brave. I have to put on my very best and go sit with the family when the time comes. I must go to the funeral and I have to stand back while they carry everything out of her apartment. I love her so much... Not this, too... Not Momma. Sh would be so mad at me for crying...but I can't help it.

Jan I am so sorry hon. It is really hard to lose someone so precious to us. I am sure she feels your love even from the distance. ((((U))))

Jan, Momma Co was blessed to have you in her life.......xoxoxo pat

((((((((Jan))))))))) I can only imagine how hard this is for you. Hold tight to the good memories and know that Momma can feel your love for her. I am a firm believer that true love can be felt across time and space. I have given my son a hug and a kiss every day for over 18 years, even though he has been several states away, and I know it has gotten through -- which in turn gets me through.

Hugs and love,
Candy

Jan, you will have Momma Co with you forever in your heart and memories, it's okay to cry, just laugh too remembering all the good things
Love
Angie

Oh Pet, I have to be so brave. I have to put on my very best and go sit with the family when the time comes.

"Not grieving" has nothing to do with bravery, my dear Jan.

She would not be mad at you for crying...especially over the loss of such a dear friend. For she loses one too.

If you are sad--cry. I'm telling you it's ok.

PS Anger can manifest itself in tears. You need to cry. For your health and cleansing.

Together we will cry our sad, angry tears first.

That will make room for the happy ones.

Jan honey she would not be mad at you for crying for her going home! everyone grieves and it is ok. know that we are all here for you!

(((((((((((((( My dear, beloved friends ))))))))))))))

Thank you so much. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for everything. Thank you for understanding tears.

Momma always laughed so hard when I would take her to the hospital and the nurses got so confused when they saw my "Momma" was black and I was white. I always told them I was adopted. I know Momma loved me as much as her own children. What a gift from such a beautiful being.

Jan
the tearful

Oh Jan,

My heart goes out to you. Momma Co was as dear to you as your own Mom, it seems and that is such a wonderful, wonderful blessing. Just know that she will be with you, in your heart and mind. The memories, no one can take. Cry, cry like there's no tomorrow and it will help you. It will help your grieving and that will in turn, help you feel a little better. Also, talk about her as much as you can. That, too, seems to help to get over a lose of a loved one. When we keep these feelings inside, the pain is so much worse, so release those feelings.
May your coming days be blessed.
Linda

((((((((((((( Linda )))))))))))))))

Thank you. It helps.

Hugs,

Jan

Momma passed today. When I got home there was a message asking me to call her neice and I knew. The neices invited me to be with them and we picked out the clothes and jewelry they are to put on Momma.

The funeral arrangements are in an uproar. She's still in another state and won't get here until Wed. Her children have to come in from out of state.

I know it will be all right, and I know Momma is happy now and not sick. But I feel so...lost.

I know I will never meet anyone on earth like Momma Co.

Jan

(((( Jan & Momma Co ))))

Hugs

Jan, now Momma Co is your gaurdian angel, you will never be alone
Love ya
Angie

((((((((( Pet )))))))))

Thank you so much.

Hugs,

Jan

((((((((( Angie ))))))))

Thank you.

Hugs,

Jan

(((((((((Jan))))))))))) There aren't any good words for times like this, at least not that I can think of. Just wanted to send hugs and let you know I'm thinking of you.

Love, Candy

(((Jan))) I am so sorry for your loss my dear friend. Just remember she is with you always and never sick again! You will see her again one day.

((((((((((((( Candy & Be ))))))))))))))

Thank you. No, Momma is not sick now. I know she's saying, "Baby, it's all right."

Momma loved me just the way I am. I didn't have to change for her or have to be better. She is the only person in my life who ever loved me unconditionally.

My own Mom has actually been good about this. She hasn't been angry or jealous over my grief. That has been such a blessing. I have been careful about what I've said.

Thank you so much.

Love,

Jan

My neighbor from whom I literally hide pounded on my door today. I opened it because I thought she would want to know about Momma.

Instead I got a lecture about how Momma's better off dead than the two of us who are still living, and it went downhill from there.

She had a few things to say about my friend Cher, some more to say about Momma and my reaction to her death, and informed me that I look pregnant and sick and that my Drs don't know what they're doing. She has no idea how I feel or what's happening to my health. If I was healthy I wouldn't be on disability and I sure wouldn't be living here!

The only reason I did not slam the door in her face was because her wheelchair was too close the the door and I might have hurt her feet.

I still have no word about the arrangements. I hope I can find something out tomorrow. I have an endoscopy scheduled for the 27th and I hope and pray the service is not on that day, or at least that it will be early enough that I can attend fasting and then go to the hospital. We'll see.

Hugs,

Jan

Jan, just remember Momma Co is with you and so am I
Love
Angie

tell that nosey neighbor to stay away!! you don't need people like that around you!

Do you know that I literally hide in my apt in the dark to keep from putting up with her? I'm not answering the door anymore.

I saw Momma's son and dil today. They have been so good to me. They had moved Momma's furniture and I started crying which made her son cry.

I am to go to Momma's apt this evening to help sort things. The funeral is when the edoscopy is scheduled and I know I have to keep it or I'm going to end up in the hospital. I have been invited to go with the family the night before though. They are having a strictly private time, but Momma's neice said she will not let anyone get mad because I'm there. They are so nice and good to me.

Love,

Jan
still teary