[Grieving Sister]

Well I joined a grief share group to try an deal with losing my dear mother 6 months ago and my youngest brother 12 years ago. I am seeing a hopice counselor, have joined a new church, and also go to a grief group, and yet I don't know which way to GO ?????
I have two children and each are living their own lives and don't even call to see how I am. My therpist told me I have to realize that having a bipolar child they will never show the love and affection I hoped for in my family. So on top of everything life slaps me again.
Oh well another day and my sadness is so overwhelming I wish I could sleep until the pain goes away. But I have to get up and try to help my Dad who is grieving losing the love of his life for 60 years.
Hope someone out there is having a better day......

[nummy]

Hi there, I am sending you a big hug, grieving sister!!

I lost my own mother in 1989 and there's just a loss there that time can't heal. If it helps, it took about 8-9 months for that first wave of grief--so physical it felt like my heart was scooped out--to fade away, and about 2 years before I realized I wasn't thinking about her every day. (It made me feel guilty, but that's normal).

What is it about her death that hurts the most? Are you second guessing what you shoukd have done, or missing her presence?

Your brain is missing a huge input here, and it will take time to feel relief. I read that if a person still grieves after 2 years, then to get help.

I literally thought I'd die of Grief after my mother died. Seriously, the only thing that helped me was to walk around the cemetery where she was buried. I'd see headstones of young people, old people, kids, and to know others grieved for them and survived helped. Grief sure does feel lonely.

I wish I could give you a pill to make your pain go away, but then again, your mother deserves to be remembered.

So tell me something about your mother!! What is a nice memory you have of her from happier times??

(((((((Hugs)))))))

She must have been a great mom. What a blessing, to have had a mother who loved you. Some people never get that. And I'm sorry your kids aren't as empathetic as you would like. But people do care. I care. Your father appreciates you, I am sure.

[Grieving Sister]

Originally Posted by nummy

Hi there, I am sending you a big hug, grieving sister!!

I lost my own mother in 1989 and there's just a loss there that time can't heal. If it helps, it took about 8-9 months for that first wave of grief--so physical it felt like my heart was scooped out--to fade away, and about 2 years before I realized I wasn't thinking about her every day. (It made me feel guilty, but that's normal).

What is it about her death that hurts the most? Are you second guessing what you shoukd have done, or missing her presence?

Your brain is missing a huge input here, and it will take time to feel relief. I read that if a person still grieves after 2 years, then to get help.

I literally thought I'd die of Grief after my mother died. Seriously, the only thing that helped me was to walk around the cemetery where she was buried. I'd see headstones of young people, old people, kids, and to know others grieved for them and survived helped. Grief sure does feel lonely.

I wish I could give you a pill to make your pain go away, but then again, your mother deserves to be remembered.

So tell me something about your mother!! What is a nice memory you have of her from happier times??

(((((((Hugs)))))))

She must have been a great mom. What a blessing, to have had a mother who loved you. Some people never get that. And I'm sorry your kids aren't as empathetic as you would like. But people do care. I care. Your father appreciates you, I am sure.

Thanks for listening and caring. Its just so over whelming losing my Mom and now living with Dad. It seems I try so hard to do what I have to but am so tired and then feel guilty because I'm not doing what I should.
Feel like I lost so much and it hurts so bad sometimes I just can't stop crying.Lost my youngest brother in 2002 and now Mom some days my head hurts so bad it feels like its going to explode. Why is it some people can lose a friend or loved one and go on as if they just broke a nail and I'm falling apart. Haven't been able to work and I even feel guilty about that.
I will not leave this life before my time because once is enough. Just praying really hard for some joy to fill my heart again! Hugs

[nummy]

How are you doing tonight??

[Grieving Sister]

Sorry haven't been around sometimes to sad to come here and see that there aren't many replies. Some days I'm just trying to grieve my Mom and try to remember the life we shared. Miss her so much. Staying with dad but don't know how I'll handle his passing. He was sicker then Mom.
Wish I could get back the energy I had before, now just sit here checking my mail or playing video games.
Sorry but I pray that Jesus helps me.

[Violet Blue]

I hope your heart can find peace soon. Don't let the lack of responses keep you from coming here. From my own experience, I can tell you, people don't always know what to say.

For a long time I represented the "worst case scenario" of loss that my friends could not wrap their brains around. They wanted to help, but they had no idea how to or what to say. I didn't want to continuously bum them out, so I acted like it was no big deal. They like the happy Violet. The sad Violet reminds them that they might lose their own family someday and be alone and they can't deal with that thought.

My friends had their own stuff they were trying to deal with, so it was hard for them to take mine on too ... but I knew if I asked for help or told them "I need you" they would've been there in a heartbeat.

Keep posting. Sometimes getting your feelings out can help.