I hardly take part in grief discussions. I've never really asked myself "well isn't that a powerful sign"? I feel anger, I hate anger. I try to rid myself of it as soon as it "gets me".

I don't want to have to feel any of these feelings. why? I'm not sure exactly. I feel I should know but can't quite make it out. Maybe I'm afraid that no one will be able to help me? Afraid that the pain will be so bad and I would ask for help and someone would just look at me and say "sorry there really isn't anything I can do"

Maybe I'm afraid if I feel the anger it will destroy me? Maybe I'm afraid that within the loss, part of me, who I was within that relationship is lost for ever and I will be like a lone surivor at sea. Who am I without that person? AM I still me? How can I take that part back?

Surely that part of me didn't die with her? Did it only feel like it did? Am I griefing for her or for that part of me that once was with her? What is hardest to accept? The fact we will never see them again? or the fact that how we felt with them has also gone?

I don't know, but I know I have some powerful anger. Some powerful fears. I've never considered myself as griefing. Maybe I am? I don't know. I guess to accept grief one must also accept loss and change?? How do we do that?

thanks for reading.

[Soidhonia]

Hello sorry to hear that you are having a bad time at this time. Grief is the hardest thing to get over at times and you need time to get over your loss, and possibly therapy to help you to learn that anger is okay it is how you deal with the anger appropriately that matters. It is okay to have emotions and express the emotions that you are having, you do not have to be perfect all of the time, to exist.and I hope your therapist is working with you on feeling like you can express yourself without feeling inappropriate or that you will lose all of the time. I really hope the best for you I really do. Take care Soidhonia

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( PRAYERS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ (((((((( HUGS )))))))

Please know that ANGER is NEVER the true feeling, but rather an easier one to connect with....... Anger is always used to cover up what we really feel.

Give your self time and the reason will come....... breathe and relax.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[(JD)]

No, none of the feelings associated with grief are desireable, imo. And, in actuality, no one can help us with the actual feeling of them...though others can help us get through them... which is where you have to go...through, imo.

You will grieve. Sooner or later. If you are now realizing that your anger might be part of that process, then you are moving through it...the process.

There are many reasons to be angry...loss is hard...and it causes us to wish things to be different, thus some anger (at ourselves, at the other, others.)

Sometimes numbing is a response to loss...in place of grieving, perhaps putting the grieving process off for awhile?

[okiedokie]

Glad to see you, Sky!


Okie

mouse, i still miss the person i was before my best friend dog died. i was different, no doubt about that. that grieves me. i think it's natural to miss whatever that person/animal brought out in us.

i have a teeshirt that says "be the kind of person your dog thinks you are" and i think it also applies to all of us. i'm probably not the person a lot of you think i am, but i'd sure like to be........

grief is natural. it's a part of the process of loss. without grief, we deny the loss. xoxoxo pat

[Larry_Hoover]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
fayerody said:
i have a teeshirt that says "be the kind of person your dog thinks you are" and i think it also applies to all of us. i'm probably not the person a lot of you think i am, but i'd sure like to be........

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hey! You callin' us dogs?

Lar

hey you! i'll PM you............or e.mail you.....how's that. p

[EJ711]

The ever-clever Lar!

EJ

[Boopers]

Sorry you are grieving.

Hugs,
Boopers