[A18793715]

He was found a few hours ago. I was the second person to find out. My best friend called me, which was weird because we normally constantly text and she goes "Jimmy's dead." and I nervously laughed. She told me how his neighbor found him and tried to do CPR but he was already gone. He's been really depressed because he was with a girl for years and her kid was a baby when they got together and she's 7 now, so he saw her as his kid and they even talked about adoption and he was so happy. Then she left him when she found out he was shooting up meth. That's when he got really depressed.

We weren't like close friends, but he was who me and and hung out with a lot with him. I just feel horrible because he would try to talk to me lately, but I'm dealing with so much myself that I can't handle someone else's depression like that on top of my own, but I would sometimes talk to him, tell him the coping skills that I've learned, let him vent, etc. But some times.. I kinda just ignored him and I feel like his death was a suicide. He's been doing drugs and shooting up meth again. They found blood coming out of his arm, he was in bed and had a heart attack. Last time he was shooting up, he always did it in his garage. Who shoots up crystal meth and lays in bed? I think he intentionally OD'ed because he's been so depressed. Someone would have said it was an OD by now if there was a needle in the room. If he shot up on his bed and had a heart attack right then, the needle would have been clearly visible near him.

I feel so guilty. He even lives within walking distance of me and always asked to hang out, but I'm not really a social person when I'm not with my best friend, so I would always decline his offer unless my friend was coming with me.

He's the first of any of the friends I've ever met in my entire life has died.
My mind literally doesn't want to believe it. He has to be at home and this is all a joke. He has to be at home. Remodeling. That's what he's been spending so much time on. I even helped him pick out his recent living room set and colors to paint his walls that went well with the tile he put in. Like. He has to be at home. But I'm too terrified to go to his house because I don't want to believe it.

[A18793715]

I'm still in denial. It's 2:30am and I keep crying but I literally can't believe it. Like it doesn't make sense. It's like trying to tell me the sky isn't blue.

[Blitter2014]

Hi. What a terribly difficult time for you, and what sad news to try to make sense of. You have come to the right place, and talking, letting the pain out is good. Give yourself time to come to grips with what has happened, and in the meantime make sure you take care of yourself. Its going to be rough, but you can do it. Hang in there, go through the motions if you have to, and don't stop talking. Welcome to PC, I hope you csn get the help and support you need.

[surfacetoair]

I had a friend od in August of last year and I think it was suicide. He also lived close by and had been wanting to hang out, but like you, I'm not very social sometimes and I was recovering from a major surgery. He and his girl friend were in financial straights but I don't know of any other problems he had. And he also wasn't an intravenous drug user. His girl friend called us after calling 911and we got there as they called it and I was there to answer questions for the coroner to try and spare his girl from dealing with it. I don't have much to offer other then sympathy. And I'm sincere about that. Regardless of cause, there is sudden hole in you and the circumstances make it worse. I also felt guilt, and still do, but if there was no indication thaf he was in danger, then you shouldn't feel responsible. My friend was a close friend, and was also the first of my friends to die. I came to terms with it to a degree but I mourn his loss to this day but it gradually gets better.

[Corrupted Angel]

I'm so sorry Back in 1999 I had a friend that I had dated a few times commit suicide, and during the grief one of my really good friends had came up to me and bluntly said that if he was still with me that he'd still be alive. I was 17 at the time and it hurt beyond all means, and so I can understand why you feel guilt, but just remember that it's truly not your fault! We are here for you!

[A18793715]

Thank you everyone.

[Insignificant other]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers being sent your way. Be strong.

[ombrétwilight]

Hang in there I'm sorry for your loss and it must be unimaginably hard to deal with his passing. Time does heal although it will still leave a scar over the wound. I hope that in this difficult time you have other friends and family to seek mutual support from. If you need to, please talk to me. I'm always available.