[Wabbit1911]

I lost my Dad September 10th, 2014 to suicide. It was been hard for me to come to terms with this. He was a strong man. No one would have ever guessed he would do what he did. I'm fighting depression, guilt, anxiety and some panic attacks stemming from his death. I have a hard time talking to others about what I'm going through. Even typing this, I'm tearing up and feeling that ache in my chest and throat. I'm hoping to connect with others that know what I'm going through. I go to a AFSP group that meets once a month and it helps some but it's easy to get lost in the voices of others there.

[CANDC]

Sorry Wabbit for the grief of separation you feel.

It is not your fault. You survived but that does not mean you are responsible for what happened or what did not happen.

Have you considered talk to a grief counselor about this?

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Wabbit1911]

Thank you CANDC. I am trying to open up but it's been pretty hard to talk about it. I have a lot of personal guilt that, even though I know it's irrational, it will not go away. I'm working on finding a therapist but since I'm a Veteran, I'm waiting on VA appointments. I've been going to a Survivors of Suicide group that does help but with many people, you can seem to get lost in the talks. I can't talk about this with my Mom as she is suffering too. None of my friends quite understand what I'm going through and my husband doesn't either.

[Keyslost]

Feel free to msg me too. I haven't lost a parent that way but a friend. I felt guilty about it for a long time too (prob still do). Best thing to keep in mind it's not our fault

I'm so very sorry for your loss Wabbit. It is hard when no one understands what you are going through. It may help to talk about it or just cry with a friend. All you can do is concentrate on getting through the day, no more, no less.

[Wabbit1911]

Thank you Keyslost and mssofty. I appreciate the support and kind words.

[mom2trips+1]

Wabbit, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can relate to you in that I lost my younger sister to suicide last August 2014. I have feelings of guilt as well as depression and anxiety. I am a member of the AFSP also and did a walk for suicide last October in Austin, Tx. Please know you are not alone and I understand your feelings. You can private message if you would like.

Mom2trips+1

[Wabbit1911]

Thank you Mom2. And I am sorry for your loss as well. I'm sure you are struggling as well with this. I will also extend the offer to private message me as well if you need to talk.