I'll Never Get Over My Dad's Death,but............................... .........

<font color="red"> I already know I'll never get over losing my Dad! He was the only one,well,him and my little brother Budda (that's his nickname),that really loves me,no matter what.
But right now I'm so pissed off that my landlords evicted my next door neighbors,they were the only one's in the whole building that would talk to me,and laugh and joke with me,and not be rude to me.When I got home from the ER last night they were moving out,they are a young couple with a new born baby,that don't cause problems,or bother anybody.But the other tenants are a bunch of Recovering Alcoholics,and just because the guy would have a couple beers every now and then after work,they wouldn't stop complaining to the landlords about his drinking,which they completely blew out of proportion,saying it was all the time,when I know for a fact it wasn't,I live right next to him.And they made up a few things to make it even worse,saying he was dealing drugs to,when he wasn't! So in the contract it does not say you can't drink,in fact you can,as long as it's not loud and wild parties!He had no loud and wild parties,he had 1 party when his baby was born,but it wasn't loud at all! But my landlords wanted to keep the deposit,so the only way they could do that,was if they were evicted,so since they had given a 30 notice to the landlord that they were moving to a bigger place because of the baby,the landlords decided to give them a 72 hour notice so they could keep the deposit,and use these other tenants ******** complaints as the reason why! I agreed to testify in thier behalf as thier next door neighbor that these allegations were false,when they take the landlords to court! But now I have no neighbors that will even speak to me,because they were the only one's that these other 2 lying tenants hadn't lied to and turned agains't me! Now I just have to keep dealing with those other 2 assholes without those cool tenants to vent with! </font>

justice((((((((((((((((safe hugs to you)))))))))))))))

i'm so sorry this has happened to you.

be assured you are a great caring person and what goes around comes around. the bad neighbours will get their punishment in some way in the future for doing this injustice. just keep being you, you dont need these people to talk to anyway, they will only bring you down.
your dad will be beside you in spirit i believe, guiding you, letting you make mistakes occasionally to learn from and keeping his eye on you. i hope this is a small comfort. you will have plenty of support from us in here, just ask or pm anytime you are feeling crappy. are you keeping in touch with the cool couple who have been evicted? maybe you could, and watch their baby growing too.you have your brother too.
take care of yourself sweetie, always here to listen.

jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo

i'm sorry, Justice........it's really hard for me to read the colored print on the colored background.......i'm older than dirt........xoxoxo pat

Just wipe the dust off the outside of your glasses,and then you can see out better!

<font color="#000088"> I just looked at a disk of photo's my Mom gave me,not too long ago,of family photo's,I thought they were all recent photo's,but thier were some with my Dad before he died.I couldn't believe it,there were also photo's from the hospital from when he was there,right before he died.It brought back a lot,I just crawled in bed,and slept for the rest of the day!But for some reason,I had nightmares really bad and when I woke up,my bed looked like a Tsunami hit it! I don't understand,I know I was upset by the hospital photo's because they were mostly of the grandkids playing ring around the rosie,but not my Dad,only one of them showed part of my Dad in a wheel chair,but not his face! That bothered me,I remember that visit to the hospital,and it was for my Dad to say goodbye to his grandkids,and to us as well,and they didn't even include him in the photo's,when it was his day! His final few moments in life!They didn't even include me in the photo's either,and I was right next to my Dad holding his hand! </font>

justice, i'm 64 and my eyes have changed and besides, my glasses are clean.

<font color="#000088"> I was just playing about the glasses,because of your avatar!
I play with one of my neighbors that thinks he's old,I told him to stick out his hand,and then I wiped it off,and said "I was just wiping the dust off",and he just started laughing! It was his 40th B-day,and that's not old,I was messing with him,just being sarcastic.
But you are very wise,so not old,just wise! </font>

<font color="#000088"> I finally got to go see my Dad's grave for the first time since his funeral,this past sunday.I wanted to join him so bad.I miss him,and I guess it really doesn't hit you that he's really gone until you see the headstone with his name on it.I'd never seen it before.He really is gone!I just cried.I didn't know how else to react. </font>

<font color="red"> I love my Dad,and if nobody can see that seeing his grave for the first time was the hardest thing I've dealt with,regarding his death,since his funeral,then you've all got some serious issues with not knowing how to help someone in this topic! Should I post his headstone in the photo gallery just to make it more real to you guys,I think I will,so you will believe me,because I don't think you are listening.
Check the photo gallery! </font>

<font color="black">Okay,as promised,his headstone is in my photo gallery,to those who dare to seek the truth of my pain,and agony of losing the Father who meant everything to me! </font>

Justice, I too lost a wonderful person in my life back in 1971, she was a mother, father, grandmother, my whole world, My grandmother took me home from the hospital when I was 2 days old cuz my blood mother walked out and left me there, when mama died, the family didn't want me there, but I was there, they turn there backs on me, and never spoke a word during the funeral, I still have trouble accepting her being gone, but I have my memories and NO one can take them away, YOU too have the good memories of your Dad hold on to them and you can survive
Angie

Justice, how long has your Dad been gone, and how old were you? I would be upset to look at those photos and not be able to see him in any of them. It's sad that you aren't in the pictures either. Almost like you were there to spend time with your dad while he was still around, but to others it was just a social outing? Maybe the rest of your family are more light-hearted than you too, while you take things seriously. Not good or bad, just different ways of looking at the world. And if your Dad didn't look his best towards the end, they might have not wanted to take pictures of him then because of wanting to remember him the way he had been before. Or he might not have wanted his picture taken that way. Even if they had good intentions, it's sad that he isn't in the pictures.

I am sorry for your loss.

Rap

<font color="#000088"> He's only been gone since October 3rd,2005.He just died not that long ago,that's why I came to Utah,was to take care of him for the rest of his life,so my brothers wouldn't put him in a nursing home,cause he didn't want to go there!His Dementia did get to the point where he did have to spend the last 6 months in a retirement home,but not a cheap nursing home like they were going to stick him in in Aug,of 2004!That's when I came to take care of him!His wedding anniversary is on June 6th,in just a few days!It's hard for me,because I always took him out.It was just me and him for awhile,we celebrated every holiday together just me and my Dad!The rest of the family acted like they were always too busy. </font>

((( Justice )))

Hugs if ok.

I understand.

I never got over my father's death either.

I know how hard it is. Sounds like he was lucky to have you.

((((((((((((Justice))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry. He's still taking care of you.