[ebonileigh]

I'm so sorry but I'm in desperate need of some support and encouragement, I'm on a waiting list for therapy (very low cost government funded, hence the wait), I don't want to call a hotline, 'cause I'm not suicidal or anything, but just need some human contact....having trouble dealing with my broken heart after having to go 'no contact' with my son, things escalated and he was threatening me, police got involved, restraining order, their strong advice: to cease all contact, change my phone number, they did their part and I needed to do mine, and if I resumed contact, it would escalate even further and well, with possibly very dire outcomes, this is their experience. And I have done just that, i.e. changed my phone number, I feel like I've abandoned my son, left him 'out in the cold' to face the wolves, I just couldn't help him anymore, I have literally nothing left to give him and his family, they've drained me psychologically, emotionally and physically, and, financially, and still I feel guilty, what will become of them, I simply couldn't give them anything anymore, and I was abused, blamed, scapegoated, manipulated, lied to, attacked verbally, raged at, intimidated, and finally threatened.....after backing off from helping them so much a couple of months ago, then the fallout, my health was suffering as I could not take the toxic environment any longer......anyway, I'm tired of thinking about it, but, I just need some encouragement, please......

Anything having to do with our children is fraught with emotion. We love them so much but there comes a point in time where it is their life to control--our job is mostly done and we need to get on with our own life. Hopefully, there are good memories of being with him to. They are such a joy when they are little. A meme that might fit your situation?

[ebonileigh]

Thankyou Hopetrying, I really do appreciate you taking the time to reply, yes, of course you are absolutely right, this I know, it's just so hard knowing that this 'no contact' is permanent, that's so hard, I mean it's only been a few weeks, that's not the problem, it's knowing that come birthdays and xmas or just the 'future', no contact, it's really breaking my heart, anyway, he pushed me over the edge of the cliff so to speak and this is the result, and my body is broken from the fall, literally, the trauma of this has literally affected my body.......anyway, thankyou again for your reply and advise, I am taking it on board......

[ebonileigh]

sorry, your username is Hopingtrying, sorry, and the spelling/grammar mistake, advise should be advice, not that these mistakes are important........silly me.......

[CANDC]

ebonileigh, I am so sorry that you have suffered so much as a mother and caregiver. There is only so much we can do without burning out. You describe some feelings that sound like you could use some self care and self forgiveness. You did all you could. Humans only can do so much. You sound like you made a valiant effort and just need to step back and take care of yourself now.

If you are open to reading articles that might have suggestions for you, here are a few articles on this site

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-for-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-with-burnout/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-with-burnout/

https://psychcentral.com/news/2011/0...ers/26352.html

Feel free to reply and or pm me.