[Junerain]

I find myself turning 35 next month and what to show for it? A lot of time very ill, feeling nothing, saying nothing, and most of all, not even leaving an imprint on the world. Granted, I'm doing better now, than I was age 19-27 or age 29-33, yet I sooooo want those lost years back, like I was robbed. I was told this is a GRIEVING process much like losing a loved one, I lost years from my OWN life.....

I hear you sweetie, I grieve for my lost childhood years, and all the time I spend eing sad over the abuse and neglect.....hugs from one who understands.....Love Jinny xxxx

[wickedwings]

me, too. i'm turning 36 next month......

[gardenergirl]

I never started therapy until I was about 37 or so. Once I started to feel better, I spent some time feeling awful for how many years were "wasted" from depression et al. It IS a thing to be grieved, in so mamy cases. My T helped me some by saying, "But there are reasons you waited until now for therapy. Maybe you weren't ready." It helped to think of it that way. We are where we are, after all. But it's still sad. I know what you mean.

gg

[Susan27]

hi junerain,
i feel EXACTLY like you do...and i just turned 40!! 35 was really hard for me too. i've spent the last 17 years in therapy and sometime i feel like i will never be whole. i get so discouraged. i feel like life didn't turn out to be the way i thought it would when i was younger and thought about being older. i feel like i've spent the last 17 years suffering and trying to get better w/o being able to really do the things in life i dreamed of. it IS totally a grieving process and i truly understand.
susan

[healing380bw]

Tomorrow(July 5th) I become 68 yrs old. My loss of my life due to illness began in 1965. Then, I was 25 yrs old. By 1974, I was useless in any career capacity, had ended my marriage, was heavily medicated, and always wanted to sleep. Nights were spent trying to sleep with very little success, even though taking 3 different medications for that purpose. I lived in a room. I could go on, but I won't, in this vein. I found no one answer to pull me thru 'till now.
At times I clung to religion. Then there were friends and people who really believed in me. I went thru various programs and read a lot of popular psychology books. Once in a while, I'd hook up with a therapist who helped me to believe in me and made me feel like I had value. Family was of some help, but chose to remain ignorant concerning my illness. My sister was a strong support, esp with her capacity to love me, even though I was a mess at times. To conclude, you may require more than one resource to help you to grieve your loss. It is very real and should not be minimized. It can hurt endlessly. A warm therapist is essential. We usually begin our lives with such huge dreams of being "someone" and "making a difference"; only to develop an illness that deprives us of that promise. I can very well understand and empathize with what you say. Perhaps, you can still matter, even in some small way, to help someone by making this planet a less hostile or indifferent place to live in. Above all, maintain your hope. Medicine is making gigantic strides. The better treatment for your malady could be right around the corner. You need to live now. The lost years can't be reclaimed. I wish they could; both for you and for me. To dwell on what might have been is an exercise in futility. You can never really know. Put your energy into "now". This is the only place that you can build on. Finally, get the negative people out to at least the outskirts of your life. They drag you down. See what you can do NOW.

[Perna]

Welcome to PsychCentral healing380 and happy birthday!

[vetswife]

I'm not trying to down play how you may be feeling, I too hate birthdays. I turned 33 in April. One thing my Uncle said to me that made me feel young is "you are in the prime of your life and you don't even realize it". They say 30's are the new 20's. People are having babies into their 40's. It's a much younger world. I know a professional body builder that didn't start her carrier until she was 45. You are young, you have a lot of years ahead of you don't waist anymore years worrying about the ones you lost. Weather you realize it or not, you have left a foot print in this world, start making some more.

Again I'm not trying to down play how you feel, just trying to lift your heads above the clouds.