My Mom Died Today

Feb 17, 2009, 05:15 PM

My brother told me the other night, that the day my mother died, his clocked stopped working.

It hasn't worked for six weeks but all of a sudden it just started ticking again the other day.

May 25, 2009, 09:46 PM

Having a hard time realizing you are gone forever.

Missing you.

May 27, 2009, 12:20 PM

I got through Mother's Day.

I got through Memorial Day.

Today I am falling apart.

I just reread this thread and wanted you all to know how much your thoughts, hugs and condolences mean to me.

Two posts I made stood out and I only quote them here so I can easily find them again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom

My mom had a full life but it was a very difficult one. Despite all the hardship though, she managed to laugh a lot and have fun. For that I am grateful.

Her husband (my dad) died when she was 38 years old (I was 10) and left her with three teenage boys and me, with no life insurance and a house that was in the middle of repairs.

She had to borrow money to bury him from her parents who were not the kindest people in the world and totally unsupportive.

The boys were angry and rebellious and started getting into trouble with the law. They were into drugs at an early age and became full fledged junkies in their teens.

The need for heroin was so strong they started lives of crime. Breaking and entering charges were commonplace but it also led to robbery charges etc. which ultimately led to prison terms.

My mother drank to escape and battle her own demons.

The boys battled drugs the rest of their lives until one died of a heroin overdose at age 38, and another one died from aids at age 42.

My mother never got over the death of her husband and then to lose two sons within five years of each other was almost too much to bear.

A year after her second son died, she battled breast cancer. A year later she was diagnosed with lung cancer (unrelated) and had her left lung removed and a piece of her right lung. The Dr. told us she was at a high risk for recurrence within five years.

But my mother was a strong woman and managed to go on. She spent the last four years of her life in Florida, in a retirement community which she loved. For the first time in her life she owned her own home, made a bundle of new friends (she had isolated after her sons died) and totally enjoyed herself.

Then her lung cancer returned ten years after her other lung was removed. They gave her 6 months to a year but she got pneumonia and died sooner than expected. She fought a valiant battle right up to the end.

My mom suffered the last three days of her life and I am still mad that someone who had gone through SO MUCH in her life would have to suffer like that at the end. She passed as peacefully as possible. I am thankful for morphine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom

Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate all of you keeping me in your thoughts.

I will not lie. Today was rough. I was sorting through some of her paperwork and files and came across a bag full of old sympathy cards that she had received when my brothers died.

It was UNBELIEVABLE to me to be standing there with those cards in my hands, realizing what an incredible loss it is. Not only to me, but to their wives and their children.

But I also realized that, although I have had my share of issues in relation to those losses, I am still standing. And breathing. And living.

I know a lot of you have read the story I wrote, Copper Trees, after my favorite brother died. ( Here's the link in case someone wants to read it-- http://forums.psychcentral.com/showp...28&postcount=1 )

Well, today I found the receipt from the donation my mother made to have my brother's name engraved on a leaf and put on the tree. I also found a brochure about it that I didn't know existed. It was called the Serenity Tree. I tucked the info inside the magazine the story was published in. I thought it was fitting.

It was a tough day.

Miracle1986 · May 27, 2009, 01:32 PM

(((Orange)))

Amazonmom · May 27, 2009, 03:27 PM

((((((Orange Blossom))))))

May 27, 2009, 06:35 PM

Thanks for the hugs Manda86 and Amazonmom.

SweetSunshine · May 29, 2009, 04:30 PM

{*{*{* Orange Blossom*}*}*}

I just wanted you to know that I do care, and I do understand the loss your feeling of your mother. There is no one to replace them.. and no one who loved us the same as they did. And the pain of that loss, stings us in the worse ways when their birthdays, and Mother's Day, and anniversaries come around. I understand, how much you miss her, and how much you always will miss her..

*freak* · May 29, 2009, 05:55 PM

((((((( Orange_Blossom )))))))
I have no words, just a hug... Hope it helps anyway... Take care

May 29, 2009, 10:24 PM

Thanks Sweet

Thanks *freak*

I'm feeling better today.

steveo7676 · May 29, 2009, 10:45 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

May 31, 2009, 12:01 AM

Thank you steveo, that means a lot.

(JD) · Jun 01, 2009, 04:19 PM

Jfs1228 · Jun 02, 2009, 09:09 PM

Orange Blossom, So sorry to hear of your loss. Remember the good times - those memories will help you through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Be well and take care of yourself.

Jun 05, 2009, 12:27 PM

Thanks everyone, for your continued support.

Miri · Jun 05, 2009, 05:59 PM

My dear, I feel the pain of your loss, am sad for what you are enduring. Sending thoughts of comfort and peace.

Jun 06, 2009, 09:58 PM

{{{ Miri }}}

Hugs right back to you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and for caring about me.

I am still procrastinating on the "big project."

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