[Rachel...]

i'm fourteen years old, and my dad recently passed away. He was found dead on the 29th December, 2008, after dying of heart attack. I didn't know him and that's what hurts me the most, as well as knowing part of me is gone. He had made many attempts at contacting me, all of which I declined, assuming I would have the chance to meet him when I was older and a bit more ready.
On Wednesday the 14th January, 2009, I attended his funeral. In the 'opening words and memories' section of the funeral, I was mentioned. He had wanted to let me know how much I meant to him, and how he was upset he didn't see enough of me.
Since then, I haven't been able to perform everyday life. I've been sitting in bed on my own, with my laptop. I have been refusing to go to school, although I'm currently revising for my GCSE's.
Not only this, my family are acting as if they don't care. I know they do, but it still hurts me to think he meant so little to them that they don't even display the smallest emotion.
I'm sorry for writing so much. This site is literally the only thing that has kept me going this week, I don't know how I would have coped without. I want to thank everyone so much for all your help, and I know I'm not really in any position to give advice seeing as I'm only fourteen, but please, don't put things off. Seize the day because things come and go so quickly, and tomorrow might be too late, that's what I've learnt over the recent weeks.
x

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((( Rachel ))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry for your loss and for what you are going through now. Do you have anybody that you can talk to about this? A school counselor may be helpful or may be you can ask your family if you could see a therapist. It sounds like you have a lot feelings that you need to process.
Your dad would not want you to feel bad about this, as you said he wanted you to know how much he cared but you wasn't ready for that and that's okay.
The grieving process is a hard one but make sure that you allow yourself to experience that even if your family doesn't seem to be feeling it remember grieving is different for everybody.

[Rachel...]

Originally Posted by gimmeice

(((((((((((( Rachel ))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry for your loss and for what you are going through now. Do you have anybody that you can talk to about this? A school counselor may be helpful or may be you can ask your family if you could see a therapist. It sounds like you have a lot feelings that you need to process.
Your dad would not want you to feel bad about this, as you said he wanted you to know how much he cared but you wasn't ready for that and that's okay.
The grieving process is a hard one but make sure that you allow yourself to experience that even if your family doesn't seem to be feeling it remember grieving is different for everybody.

I've been offered counseling numerous times for my anxiety and panic problems, but I refuse to go, since my inspiration comes from my 'fear', to put it simply. I don't think I could go to counseling incase they tried to help with my anxiety and panic, two parts of my life I can actually deal with.
I understand what you're saying about everyone being affected in different ways, and grieving in their own way, but my family are literally pretending nothing has happened and going on with life. It's only been a few weeks, should they have really moved on this quickly? I feel I'm the only one who actually cares he's gone.
Thankyou for your reply. It has made me think alot and I don't feel as terrible as I did before, although I still don't feel too great about the whole situation, obviously.
x

[MINIME]

Im so sorry. I want you to know that it sounds like your dad loved you. Im sorry that you dont have support now. You are brave for talking and asking for support.

[EnglishMajor]

Rachel,
I am so very sorry to heard about your Dad. You must be in a world of hurt right now and feeling very alone. Sometimes we all need help when the world comes crashing down, and you are bearing a very heavy load for someone your age.
Can you do something for me, even though you don't know me from anyone? Please find someone to talk with about your feelings--a neighbor, a teacher, a social worker, the parent of a friend--okay? You can email me, if that would help.
Please keep us posted.

[I_WMD]

Very cool Young One ,,,, carpa diem . [ prolly bad spell ].

....and the how others show they care ? >> Could just be Rachel ,, they may not know what ,, or how ,,, to say anything ,,,, Grieve your way ,, and Give those that you are wondering why about ,,,? ,,, A gentle Hug .

Could be comfort comes >>> but at a loss ,, .
weep gently,,,rest fully .

WMD.

[thunderbear]

I am so sorry for your loss. You are only 14 years old. For whatever reason you were estranged from your dad, he understands now why you were absent. Don't beat yourself up over it. I know that is probably hard to do. Just know that he loved you and from what it sounds like you loved him too.

[brephi]

You are such a mature 14 year old and I say this as a compliment. My heart goes out to you. Like you, I was young (15 years old) when I experienced a tragedy. My grandmother was murdered. I was very close to her. My family couldn't understand just what I was going through. I became withdrawn, couldn't sleep, socialize or eat and did not or could not talk to anyone about it. I believe that's why I am having so many emotional issues right now. I think it's very adult of you to try and seek support because you really do need it. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. You will get through this. I know that for sure. I like you and want to continue to correspond with you. Never feel that you are complaining. That's why this website was created. For people like me and you. You need some sound advice and this is the place where you can get it. Feel free to contact me anytime, it would be an honor. God bless you, baby.


brephi

[nightbird]

I'm so sorry for this loss in your life.

I think that people around you do not understand how you are grieving your loss.

My daughter went thru the same thing... nobody in her Dad's family, let alone anyone who knew her better, realized the connection she lost and the hopes and her hidden, inner desires she held out for her Dad... and the future, and a possible positive relationship.

I feel your pain and can understand how you feel, Dear Person.

May solace come quickly to you over the loss of your father, and that you may find some comfort in your friends or the day-to-day goings on.

Please allow the grief process to work on your behalf, and if those closer and around you do not understand that you are feeling quite vulnerable in spite of what they may feel or think about you and your Dad... you can tell them to respect your grief and if they cannot support you, in the least, they need to leave you be to allow yourself to go through your changes here.

Peace and Solace,
Nightbird
xoxo

[madisgram]

hi rachel, i read your post and just want to give you a big pc . i am so sorry for your loss. i know it must hurt a lot. even tho you didn't know your dad a part of him lives in you. while he may have expressed disappointment that you didn't see him, i'm sure he was wise enough to understand your reasoning. you are a very mature young lady to be 14 yrs of age.
i'm glad you found pc too. it helps so many of us. i will keep you in my prayers. hugs.