[prettyjolie]

I am sooo afraid of death. The closest person to me that has passed away is my little brother's friend. It's been over 6 months and I still cry when I hear the song that they played at his funeral. I wasn't close to him.. we barely talked much.
It scares me. I am still sad about him.. I can't imagine how I'm gonna feel or deal with the death of a close family member.
I am so scared that my parents will die... you have no idea.
And it sucks right now because I had to move 2,000 miles away from them. And they're gonna have to leave the country for good within the next 6 months.. and i can't just pick up and go. im married now. I can't do that, I'm not a child anymore.
What am I going to do? I'm freaking out with them being states away, but what am I going to do when they are a country away?

I feel like I'm going to die when they leave, let alone when one of my family members dies. I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I get hysterical sometimes just think about old times or of one of them dying.. It kills me inside.
I don't know if i'll be able to handle it.

What will happen to me? Can you die of sadness? Because I doubt that I'll survive their deaths..

I know what you're thinking.. why worry about it if it's not happening?

But my parents are both very sick all the time. plus, they can't really afford healthcare. I feel like they need me.. but my husband needs me too.

What to do?

I feel like I am going to die of sadness when the day comes..

[madisgram]

do u have a higher power in your life? if u do, i'd suggest praying about it. ask for this fear to be lifted from you cause it's too heavy a burden for you to bear. i am sure others will have more helpful thoughts but this is what i do when it's something beyond my control. i hope you will find some peace.

[prettyjolie]

I do believe in God.. I'm just not active about my beliefs.. maybe I should be. My mom has fears like I do and that's how she deals with them.
It's just hard to think of death.

Thank you =)

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by prettyjolie

I do believe in God.. I'm just not active about my beliefs.. maybe I should be. My mom has fears like I do and that's how she deals with them.
It's just hard to think of death.

Thank you =)

ok well that's all you have to do is believe...even if it's just a little with a lot of "ifs" involved. heres' why i say that:
one night in the psych ward i was terrified of being sent home. why? because i had decided this would be my last attempt at getting well. i was so mentally exhausted. so i was panicking cause i sensed that they thought i was ok but i wasn't. i didn't have any hope anymore. i got down on my knees and did a weird prayer...see i sort of believed, but i wasn't really sure there would be any sort of intervention. so i said, if you are there, if you have the power, etc. if, if, if, then i asked for help, for a miracle. i went to bed and the next morning i had a tiny smidgen of hope that i could really get better and have a life unencumbered by the chains i had felt all my liife. well i hadn't had that like forever so i knew something/some higher poiwer had intervened. i knew, jme, that my prayer had been heard. i was told later that it is in God's time, not mine, but i guess he realized how desperate i was, so i got answered overnight!
please understand this is what happened to me. these are my beliefs today..that a higher power can intervene in our lives. that for me, i was worthy of having a prayer answered. i promised myself i would never forget this experience. if i ever doubted in the future i had this to pull me back into good thinking. since that time i have never felt alone..not lonely...alone. i know my higher power is always with me.
i sincerely hope this experience i have shared with you can offer you hope too.