Grandpa... I'm sorry

I am so confused, so angry.
My Grandpa passed away on Thursday morning. I found out last night. It's so complicated though. There are big family (disagreements?). I haven't seen him in a lot of years and my dad (his son) will just not talk about him, his family (anything really... I don't force him to though).
But I'm just so hurt and so confused.
I hate my dad right now. I never really liked him, he's not a particularly nice person... but WHY couldn't he tell me about his dad. I found out by someone just walking past my house yesterday. I'd taken my mam out for a meal for mothers day and when we came home, as we were getting out of the car, a woman was walking past and said to my dad, "sorry to hear about your dad". My dad said "well they have to go some time". I don't know why, I mean it kind of clicked then what had happened, but it didn't sink in. Then I went out with a friend and when I came home later I was just about to go upstairs while my dad was watching the news and there was a news story on about Jade Goody (a woman in UK who's just died from cancer). My dad said to me, "your dads dad, who's my dad, who's your grandad has just died too" in a 'normal' voice, kind of matter of fact as if he were just commenting on the news.
I'm just..... SO angry. I wanted to talk to him (grandpa) when I found out he was ill with cancer I wanted to go see him, but 'cause of all the family complications I didn't know how.
I'm just, lost.
I don't know. I don't know if I'm making sense even right now. there's just so much on my mind.

((((((((((((((((((molly))))))))))))))))))))
sorry to hear that....hugs

Molly ,, Listen and ask things ,,, hopefully it will give you some answers ..

WMD.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Molly }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


sorry for your lose and all your pain and confusion
sending safe and gentle hugs
have questions and need them answering hun........... ask them sweety and hopefully your dad may be able to answer them for you
In my thoughts and prayers

Mandyxx

Things have been weird. Up and down. I didn't go to the funeral, my dad did and I was glad of that. Apparently it was only the second time my mum has seen him cry (he tried to hide it then and I've never seen him cry). He hugged his sisters and one of his brothers and talked to them (two of his brothers didn't go to the funeral).
Now it's still weird because my nanna (dads mum) has been moved from the care home to the hospital and is very ill (she's had alzeimers for many years, don't know if theres anything else wrong though). Everyones certain she's not gonna make it out. My mum and I are hoping my dad will go see her. I don't want the same thing to happen that did with my grandpa. My mum was thinking maybe she's hanging on for him. I don't know what to think about that.
ONe of my neighbours told us about one of her relatives who had alzeimers and was in hospital. Her son was really hesitant to go and visit her but was eventually persuaded. When he got there, she recognised him and told him she missed him.
Oh I don't know, my heads a bit all over the place about all this.

((((((((((((((((((((((((( Molly )))))))))))))))))))

sending lots of hugs and warm wishes to you hunny.............l hear all your pain and confusion..........It was good that your Dad was able to go to the funeral and sometimes as hard as these things are it helps us to see the finality of things and also hopefully it may help your Dad to decide if he should visit his Mom now that she is so sick. Some may say well she will not know( maybe she will)) but one thing that is important is that your Dad will know and so will you hunny..................its always very hard to watch someone who is suffering from Alzheimers try to think about what YOU want and need hunny and l hope the rest will follow for you and give you some clarity and some inner peace within you

Love always
Mandyxx