[thinkandoer]

Sorry in advance for my English, it's my second language. Also using speech recognition is tough.

I hope no one has experienced something as frustrating as I am experiencing. Apparently, medical service where I leave is very bad (Belarus). Something that could have been solved has destroyed my life as I knew it. It seems like they are just lazy here. I'm trying to educate and self diagnose myself all the time, I read stuff from reputable sources and try to learn anatomy , just not to be taken seriously for 2 years and then find out that I was right about a lot of things. Now I'm hoping to go to Germany for medical purposes this summer but for that I also need some diagnosis or something to narrow things down just not to go bankrupt by checking everything. So the last month I was checking new hypothesis of what might be the core problem which started it all. Just to get dismissed in a matter of fact way yesterday. Although dr. might have considered one of my theories, I'm not sure, there were no explanations . and I was too shocked to ask . And that was the best doctor in this field in Belarus. And next time I can go to her in a month or so after seeing other doctors she sent me to . I'm very scared that I'm very much behind on deadlines concerning my trip to Germany. because bureaucracy and visa are going to take time. and if I don't go this summer I might never be able to due to circumstances. So I get a bit panicky and depressed and self hating and stuff. Because there are still things I can do but I'm afraid whether I'm going to be efficient enough. I also know, that if it won't get better this summer it's going to get worse.

So my question is to people who have been through something like that : how to keep on going?

I think I also am a bit scared of doctors already . because there were some procedures that went wrong and I saw no justice after that. So when dr. is about to touch me I feel like I just freeze and like my brain just stops. I also have a problem to stand up for myself to doctors, and to people in general . sometimes I'm able to but other times I just freez. that might have something to do with abuse I've been through as a child, that stuff is dragging me down quite a bit. It also have something to do with the fact that I lived in Europe for a few years . So, I still cannot adopt back to rough treatment people give each other in Belarus. Also, it's very hard to find a good therapist here , my previous one was condescending to me . so i'm in search now and not very hopeful, I might have to do without one.

Has anyone been trough anything like that and how to deal with it?

I have not been through what you are going through, but I am sorry this is causing you pain. Bad experiences can cause a bit of trauma and leave one weary to go that route again. But in all honesty there are good docs out there too. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for a genuinely good doctor. Do not let a previous doc set the tone for all doctors. They are not all the same. If you don't like the one you find, keep looking. There is someone out there that can help you in the way you need.

[thinkandoer]

Thanks a lot ChaoticInsanity for your support! I feel like I'm drowning right now, I do things and go to doctors, but not fast enough because I feel frustrated all the time. it's also quite hard to find a doctor here who's at least polite to you, hygienic standard is quite low. I'm getting very hard time to adapt back to my country.

I'm trying to find better doctors but for my condition I think I have to find doctors abroad, and it's going to be hard to find all the infoand deel with burocracy, logistics, financial stuff. And to do all that fast. I've been to the best doctors in Belarus, but somehow they don't take atypical trigeminal neuralgia seriously , which is one of my major health issues. there's a need to find out what was the initial cose, then there was most of the damage done by acupuncture, and Belarusian doctors don't take this serious either.