[Patagonia]

Every yr I dread my birthday. It's just depressing & a depressing time of yr. I try very hard not to show how I feel.
Now I was raised that birthdays are just as big as Christmas as a kid....their YOUR day. Their a celebration. So for my kids & my SO I make a really big deal out of them.
Last wk was my birthday & ive been putting on a happy face, everything is great. My SO planned an evening for us to go out alone. That rarely happens.
That morning no one says anything to me. It's forgotten. Now this has happened for several yrs now. My SO does not tell our kids it's my birthday....& I feel hurt.
Do I sound like a whiner about now?
But there's nothing like little kids saying happy birthday & making a handmade card or just viewing their excitement & happiness. Those I cherish deeply. Every yr I hope...& get nothing.
I had a nice birthday.

So next yr should I tell my kids the day before that it's my special day? Should I ask them to make me card? Does that sound desperate that I'm looking to validation from my kids? Does this fall on my SO shoulders? Bec we have a similar circumstance when it comes to Mother's Day. He'll say, your not my mom.
I don't want my kids to see that I'm hurt. But there are traditions I'd like to keep. That birthdays are celebrations of life & special! My SO hates traditions.
Yeah you can tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks

[Gus1234U]

make up for your loss, take yourself out for a nice b'day lunch and some flowers. when you come home, tell them that your feelings were hurt that they didn't think of you. people are not mind readers, and kids especially need reminding and support to risk showing affection.

it sounds like your SO needs a good whack on the head. :P

[Gus1234U]

Happy Belated Birthday~!

[Hobbit House]

First... Happy Birthday ! 2nd that's not right for your SO to forget about your birthday. I would remind him! Kids can be forgiven not remembering a birthday. All they remember is Christmas, Halloween, and their own birthday! Also Gus1234u is right... do something for yourself.

[Patagonia]

Thank you. Yes I feel like SO doesn't feel like it's his responsibility, although he did take me out. Like he keeps a scoreboard.
I was very hurt again that he didn't tell me kids. Part of me thinks that's silly. I should announce it to them & make my own cake & be happy!
And part of me feels utterly abandoned yet again by my SO actions or lack there of.

I don't think anyone truly understands my feelings & im tired of being so alone.
Yes I admit I wanted some attention!

[Pennster]

I think it's a good idea to tell your kids it's your birthday! I hate the idea that people might forget it's my birthday, so I make sure to bring it up in advance and plan something for the day. I bet your kids would like to make a fuss over you, so helping them along with that would probably make you all pretty happy.

[Gus1234U]

well, Pat, those of us who read and respond to your posts would like a "Thank You" or a hug or some indication that our time was not discounted as worth less than yours.

[Travelinglady]

My friends were surprised when I told them I never had a "real" birthday party. I made a big deal over my sons' birthdays when they were growing up.

Hubby buys me a gift and takes me out. My sons buy me gifts and come to my b-day meal when they can.

But they don't do anything for mother's day. My hubby is the "you're not my mother" kind of person, too. But I sent his mother a card from him and me!

Be prepared for a possible disappointment, but tell your children when your birthday is and ask them to send a card, call, or whatever you hope to get.

One of my sons told me he "didn't do Valentine's Day." No card, of course.

And by all means, celebrate your own birthday regardless

Happy Belated Birthday!

[Patagonia]

Thank you I do appreciate everyone's advice!!