Advised to apply for SSDI by my doctor and very scared.

I'm glad for you, Bella, that you prevailed in court. You are right about having little contact with the lawyers. It's no different with me. When I refer to "the law firm," I use that term because I have never spoken to the attorney with whom I have a contract, and I doubt that I ever will. If a lawyer is ever required, then I will meet one. Till then I don't even deal with para-legals. They are too lofty to be bothered with the likes of me. I get to talk to - well, I guess you could call them "clerks." Even that term used to have a higher meaning than it does today.

Congralutations, Bella! So how many months from filing to first payment did it take?

I was approved the first time. The therapist at program even told me I wouldn't be.

I do not see how ranking works. It seems out of whack.

1. National 36.0 and 13.8
2. Iowa 32.4 and 12.2
3. Kansas 36.0 and 16.2
4. Missouri 33.6 and 28.3
5. Nebraska 37.3 and 12.0
6. Colorado 34.9 and 21.5
7. Montana 41.6 and 14.6
8. North Dakota 38.2 and 12.7
9. South Dakota 35.8 and 11.6
10. Utah 44.3 and 15.6

The first number is up and down. Should be looking at the combined ##s?

Hamster - Wow, I didn't even notice that, but now I think I see what you're saying. You raise a good question. If I figure it out, I'll post my analysis.

Thank you thank you. It is very important to me, as I might be moving out of state.

This is from the Wall Street Journal, http://online.wsj.com/public/resourc..._20110314.html, and thus might be more reliable (the figures must have been confirmed).

Hamster - How Very Interesting!

Here: I kept California where I currently live and ranked states with over 50% chances. Among those, I would select less expensive ones.

California 43.7%
Hawaii 51.3%
Nebraska 51.7%
South Dakota 52%
Maryland 52.3%
New York 52.9%
Alaska 53.2%
Delaware 53.5%
Massachusetts 53.6%
Vermont 53.8%
North Dakota 53.9%
District of Columbia 55.4%
New Hampshire 56.8%
Wyoming 59.1%
New Jersey 59.4%

That's an interesting list. It seems to contain all the states where it is really expensive to live (except for CT,) plus a few states where the winters are just really rough. I'ld find it very difficult to choose. Thanks for sharing that.

If it were me, I think I'ld stay put in California.

Exactly - it is either expensive, or with rough winters. I used to rough out winters in my youth though, and would not mind it doing it for two years. My bigger problem would be (what I assume to be the lack of) ethnic grocery shopping, yoga studios, and the like. Things that are not necessarily super expensive, but, you know, optional.

Yeah, I wouldn't count on some of those cold states to be jam packed with ethnic grocery shops.

Another observation: I know something about NY and NJ. The variation in quality of living between the high rent sections and the low rent sections can be quite wide.

This is what my lawyer said:


I would not bother with those statistics about differing rates of approvals from state to state. Those numbers change month by month and year by year.

Terry LaPorte, Esq.

Hamster, my first check came one month after approval.

I first filed in 2006 and was approved in 2008.

Wow, Bella, looks like that approval process can surely drag a bit.

Yes, in some states it takes a while before the judge hears the case. They are pretty backed up with hearings.

One entertains the hope that the case won't need to go to a judge, but I understand that's a bit of a long shot.

I know someone in California for whom it also took 2 years, way back.

I'm filling out paperwork for SSA. Doing this causes me great anxiety. I'm so worried I will not put enough of the right answers on the page. I spent five minutes on it and put it down. I could do this paperwork - describing my last 15 years of work and describing my daily activities, now - in collaboration with a clerk from the lawyer's office. The clerk would get info over the phone from me and fill out the forms, on my behalf, and FAX them in to SSA. Those clerks, however, do kind of a half baked job on anything they fill out. So I most likely would do a better job on my own.

I'm getting disillusioned with the law firm. These places that only do Disability are like paperwork mills. They just churn stuff out. Their claim to fame is that they get stuff in to the SSA on time, which I'm not keeping up with on my own. So I'm glad of them, or I wouldn't have even started the process, yet.

Hamster - thanks for feedback. It is what it is. If you submit a claim, I'ld be real interested to know how you make out in the process . . . like how you find doing the paperwork to be.

I feel like I'm in a tunnel that I'm never going to find my way out of. The clerks say that SSA is mainly interested in what they see in medical records. I have a long documented history, but it does not show me to be unable to function. So I am pessimistic.

I have physical problems that are truly limiting me, but my PCP said that SSA will be much more interested in my psych history. He wants to see me get approved, and he seems very smart, so I try to do what I think he suggests.

I better get my resume out and fill in that 15 years worth of jobs on the paperwork that the SSA wants.

I appreciate any feed back anyone has on this whole process.

I feel for you, Rose....you have the double whammy, the combination of physical probelms along with mental problems...

Remember, you are doing this for YOU, you deserve to be able to worry less about money, to get a 'break' when so many others do not have to even think about the kinds of problems and situations you do..

I, too, have been through the disability process, and I'm so glad I got through it...I, too, have seen so much tragedy and pain in my own life due to my mental illness, I feel entitled to receive my money each month, I know it's mine, for all I have been through, I have earned it

Try not to be pessimistic and focus on the negative....to qualify for disability, it's not complete lack of function they are looking for..more, that your illness has prevented you from achieving what others can...

Take care of yourself during this process, keep writing us and expressing how you feel, we love being there for you, I'm sitting here, listening, holding your hand...

Junerain

Junerain - Thank you for the very kind words. Growing up, I was always told by teachers that I had a great future ahead of me. I did well in school and was told that that would overcome the limitations I felt psychologically. Now, at age 59, I accept that my limitations were more handicapping than I had even feared. It's good, in a way, that I didn't know that sooner. I kept trying for things that I thought would work out. That seems to count for a lot with my PCP doctor. He keeps saying that he thinks I have tried very hard to avoid SSDI. I tell him that he believes in my claim more than I do. I hope he has given me sound advice. I can't believe that he would encourage me to do something foolish. Since 2003, I have been encouraged to apply, by, among others, a counselor at Division of Vocational Rehab. She told me to apply, get my benefits, and then try to work part time if I wanted to. Now, suddenly I'm crying and I don't know why.

Rose,

I'm sorry you're upset. When I filled out my paperwork I was sure to mention the extreme cases when I was manic/depressed. Give examples that specifically relate to your ability to hold a job. I also got back all my notes from the mental evaluation. PM me with any questions.

Peace,

TnT

Here's some things I'm learning. The claims examiners in my state must be overloaded. So my initial paperwork is being sent to an examiner in a neighboring state. It's a state with the worst record for approving claims - TEXAS. The law firm I'm using says they do that a lot. (send paperwork from one state to another depending on who has the lower work load.)

This is discouraging. I expect it is going to get worse.

I did the 2nd thing you do, which is fill out paperwork on everyplace I worked over the last 15 years. (for me, that's a lot of places.) They want to know just want did I do everyplace I worked and why can't I do that work now. Plus, I had to fill out a "daily activities" thing, explaining what do I do typically in a day. I read somewhere that even just saying that I watch TV can be used as evidence that I could do a sedentary job. I never even had a sedentary job in my life. Most of those jobs, from what I know, what you to be competent in some kind of computer software. One I applied for wanted proficiency in 4 different Windows applications. I'm lucky to figure out my way around Psych Central.

Rose, I just had to reply to your thread as everything you've posted could've come from my own brain! I too am just starting the SSDI process, I'm also a nurse and I've been dealing with depression for 20 years with the last few of them being told that I'm in the "atypical bipolar" category.

Over the course of the last 8 years I've slowly, slowly decompensated, having bouts of low dark depression when I wouldn't get out of bed or shower for days at a time. I've gone from being a "Nurse of the Year" at my last workplace to being given the opportunity to resign because I was about to be fired for absenteeism due to this damned depression.

From there I started an outpatient day program for SI's because I felt all of my problems were due to my being a lazy,selfish and immature person that just fails miserably on a daily basis. I did resign that last job as I didn't want the firing on my record. That was in October of 2010 and I haven't even TRIED to work since then. I wound up with a TRULY and DEVASTATINGLY unplanned pregnancy last June that almost sent me back to the psych ward. I had my baby in January and am still battling every single day to have the hope that things will eventually get better, while in the back of my head still telling myself that if I'd just grow up, shut up and get a job that I'd be just fine if I'd just decide not to ALLOW myself to be this way. So I really really feel your pain.

We are our own worst enemies, you know? My own expectations for myself are harsher than any anyone else could possibly set for me. Add depression/bipolar to that and it's just a toxic soup that leads to despair and hopelessness. Seeing my poor husband stressing over our situation is what's pushed me toward applying for SSDI. I tried to get an attorney involved for the initial application, but I live in Georgia, one of the WORST states for initial approvals (AND reconsiderations too), and all I've gotten are the "call us when you're denied" responses, I think b/c they know it's going to take work to get it approved, so they want to wait til I do all the INITIAL work for them, then they can take over once it's gotten to the reconsideration point. So I can't even GET any help with all this paperwork!!

Tonight I filled out the 15 year employment history and it took me 5 hours. Seriously, 5 hours. I've always worked in the same specialty, so I basically have the exact same job duties for each job, so I did a rough draft in pencil on a copy I'd made of the form, then when I got it how I wanted it I painstakingly copied it SEVEN times to represent the seven jobs I've had in the last 15 years. FIVE hours worth of copying. What these SSDI folks don't account for is that those of us that truly ARE debilitated by mental disorders are often not even capable of completing this amount of paperwork in the 10 days we're given. I have until Friday to complete that Adult Function Report and I'm scared I won't get it done! And the constant paralysis, inability to decide, not knowing what to write? I feel you on that too my soul sister! There's no good reason for me to be up after 1am stressing over these questions, but I just don't know what to write!

Please keep posting your experience with this process...it's been comforting for me to read and see that I'm not the only person on earth that feels like this. I know that doesn't make you feel any better about your own pain, but at least know you've helped me tremendously, just by venting your feelings as you've progressed to the point you now find yourself. We should compare notes one day, it sounds like the similarities between us are downright uncanny!

One form down, two to go, and two days to get them done~ I need some prayers folks!

Hey guys, I made that epic long post last night and guess what?? I got a call back from Binder and Binder in the morning, after IDK, over a month maybe that I called them about a consult? Gave them my info over the phone and now have an appt. today to go in and speak with whoever about taking my case! Strange how things happen huh? I'd given up hope that anyone would be willing to do anything with my claim until I'd at least been initially denied. Yay!