[SunConure]

My chest is too large to bind and it looks really bad when i try to. for a while it bothered me but now i've come to accept and even be proud of my chest. however people take me less seriously about being actually trans, which frustrates me because since when does being agender mean i have to look masculine??? (i actually do try to look as masc as possible but it still pisses me off that people think this)

Anyone else do the same, or have another reason for not binding? how does this affect how people treat you?

[TheSeamster]

I've had this issue, not with binding, but just general clothing. I'd wear skirts or dresses and suddenly people stopped respecting my gender. They said I should just "stay a girl. it's easier". I hate that expressing any femme quality just suddenly invalidates your trans identity if you're non-binary or trans masculine.

It's not like breasts or clothing is inherently female. Hell there are cis men with breasts. I wish people would stop assigning gender to body parts and clothes

TL;DR
I know that feeling. Even days where I shouldn't be, I bind because my gender is ignored or questioned if I dont. It sucks. :/

[-jimi-]

In our culture male has become the middle ground. It's strange really. It makes me confused to the point where I wonder if I am agender or actually more male. In our culture, male is neutral or male, and female is never neutral but always female.

Blah. I don't know.

[TheSeamster]

A lot of the non-binary community is making a push to stop the idea that presenting masculine is the default or nuetral. Because it erases non-binary femmes and restricts the idea of androgyny to the male default.

[FreelancerFletcher]

yeah, im a genderfluid trans boy and i love wearing makeup and i dont bind much bc its kinda a hassle. ive tried to come out to some ppl at work but they just dont understand bc i dont attempt to pass or act masculine. i havent gotten too much crap from other trans ppl though, mostly cis ppl.

[Dogfaceboy]

Hey Sunny-

I relate to what you are saying, and I'm pretty much in the same boat. Binding can be painful and dangerous and if you don't feel you need to do it, perhaps it's not such a bad idea to skip it. However, people do sometimes have such a simplistic way of viewing gender that having a chest prevents them from reading you as agender or masculine. I guess it's important, if possible, to find people and places to be where you are supported and understood as agender regardless of chest size....Having those people who do validate your identity may make it easier to withstand those who don't get it... -Pete

[LoneWolfie]

I'm 48 I started binding about 3 months ago and I don't know how large you are in the chest area but I am a 50DD and am able to bind and pass. I have always identified as a dyke never liked the label lesbian personally and have always been very butch. Winter's with a jacket I was often referred to as "sir" because of very short hair, ball caps and I can't say I am very female in my traits or way of dressing. Society makes it hard if you aren't one or the other when it comes to gender male/female. My journey is just starting but I am figuring things out each day. The people you meet along the way either in person or online when it comes to transgender is validating and having support is opening my eyes to the different possibilities.

If you would like to chat or message me feel free.

Take care
Dale

[ClippedWings12]

I'm a masculinely identified (meaning that I prefer he pronouns over she ones because they feel more right, though I also love they if one knows how to use it without getting confused) agender person. I have heat sensitivity issues and mild scoliosis, and at the moment I only have one binder that's comfortable for my back, but even that one is too hot to wear regularly, so I normally just stick to sports bras. I love wearing dresses and skirts, but I honestly feel more like a femme presenting guy wearing them than as the girl everyone around me seems to see. It's really frustrating that I can't seem to get anyone to respect my gender identity without being all the way male in their eyes. I plan to eventually get top surgery (I have hated my breasts since the moment they started to grow in, and I have a phobia of surgery that I need to confront, so it seems like the best option for me), and I'm thinking about starting testosterone so that I can appear more masculine and balance out my taste in clothing (my ideal would look like a feminine crossdressing male to the public eye). But, for right now, very few people seem to actually remember when I tell them I'm a he or a they, not a she. Only my best friend and my mom (she's been trying to just use my name instead of any pronouns at all, which I like) seem to use the right pronouns for me. -sigh-