Forgive my ignorance, but what's that?

Oh let me add, I'm gender confused but got no choice in the matter, so like I get it.

[seraphic]

"Cis" is short for "cisgender", which means that a person identifies with they gender they were assigned at birth. "Cis" is the opposite of "trans", so cis people are those who are not transgender/nonbinary/genderqueer/etc.

Okay. But to be trans...doesn't that take action like transforming? Or am I way ahead of myself?

[TheSeamster]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Okay. But to be trans...doesn't that take action like transforming? Or am I way ahead of myself?

Not all transgender people transition. For many reasons, medical, financial, social, professional, and other reasons.

Transgender, as an umbrella term, means you do not identify with the gender assigned to you at birth. You don't need to necessarily be transitioning to be trans. And that's totes mcgoats cool.

Cisgender means that you do identify with the gender assigned to you at birth. So say someone was assigned a girl at birth. And they go by she/her pronouns, and they are completely comfortable being called and refered to as a girl. They would be cis. And that's totes mcgoats cool.

Some people may identify outside the binary of gender or be agender and may not even consider themselves trans. That's totes mcgoats cool.

This is a super simplified definition and model. As every person experiences their gender in their own way and can express it however they choose.

Kewl. I totally accepted me being me because I'm me, even though me being me is wrong because I'm not me. I'm the other one.....but no one cares

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Kewl. I totally accepted me being me because I'm me, even though me being me is wrong because I'm not me. I'm the other one.....but no one cares

I get that... I think...

I can tell if I'm trans??? My best female alters been around since young young taking care of us, and as a few males developed, we are totally uncomfortable...but we try...to be male, but most of my alters are female and were more comfy that way.

So, if I'm a mix of multiple personalities, I can't really say what I am, even though I bend to the fem side, but since I'm outward male, doing the male thing.. Oh so confused. It's been forever like this, to make a conscious effort to satisfy the obvious.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I can tell if I'm trans??? My best female alters been around since young young taking care of us, and as a few males developed, we are totally uncomfortable...but we try...to be male, but most of my alters are female and were more comfy that way.

So, if I'm a mix of multiple personalities, I can't really say what I am, even though I bend to the fem side, but since I'm outward male, doing the male thing.. Oh so confused. It's been forever like this, to make a conscious effort to satisfy the obvious.

I'm getting more confused with every post!

You know what I mean! To be one way but not the other, but to be the other and not just one way? But both yet not either?

[TheSeamster]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

You know what I mean! To be one way but not the other, but to be the other and not just one way? But both yet not either?

Perhaps because of your multiple alters you fall somewhere on the genderqueer or nonbinary spectrum. (I'm only suggesting, the only person who can truly decide and understand your gender is you )

Being both but neither. That is a feeling I am quite familiar with. Gender is an odd and fluid thing. And society forces us into these small boxes or masculine or femme. And that's it.

But It's all about how you feel and what you need. Your gender can be anywhere on a large spectrum. It can even shift and change with the passing of time. I have a friend who is genderfluid. They mostly are femme, but go through masculine and neutral days as well.

I'd recommend looking at some nonbinary identities and seeing if they describe what you feel. That's what I did.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

You know what I mean! To be one way but not the other, but to be the other and not just one way? But both yet not either?

I have a post somewhere back in the entrails of this forum where I wrote about my 1st effort to stick my head out of the closet. I won't recount the whole experience here. But at the end of a small number of sessions of therapy, where I first talked about being trans, the therapist (& I use the term loosely) asked me which I would rather be male or female. Surprised as I recall, I muttered something like: it wouldn't matter. I just wished I could stop feeling like both & neither...

[Rand.]

I'm with Seamster. Looking at non-binary genders, or lack thereof, might be helpful for you.

Right on, I can see that. Just read up a little bit about it. I change alters several times a day as the need arises, so I go through a bit of confusion at times. I had confusion when I was a teenager, and still am. I'm more comfortable with le fem side than male.

[Rand.]

I mean, ultimately you know yourself best. You'll have to forgive me since I'm not very familiar with DID. Do you ever feel male or is it almost always female?

The male gendered alters tend to be brutish, hard core, rough while the feminin ones are more softer, kinder, understanding and caring, in them tones of gender. Of course I identify with the fem more so then the male counterparts which I get confused about and seem to be more uncomfortable or awkward with.

The body is male. We alters have names and jobs to perform. One takes over where another isn't able to cope with a situation. Where normal people just change emotions but stay the same person, we change personnas to compensate for the non integration of emotional reasoning.

Why I stayed conscious, I don't know. My male alters run the work jobs, bounding with other males, playing mechanic, husband, etc. The fem jobs deal with emotions, feelings, cooking, fashion, female bonding, and some crossing.

Some males don't have a caring feeling where the fem fills in for that missing emotion.

And yes, the female alters like to get dressed up and do their thing within reason of the body as long as they cause no attention this way- body rule. I've woken up so many times with clear nail polish on I quit trying to take it off just to have it back on later.

It's the body language, gestures and talk that changes mostly. Not everyone can tell.

[Rand.]

Having alters, especially of both genders, makes it much more complex. Was there a type of non-binary that you related to the most?
I'm also wondering if it possible you relate more to the female alters because they are more caring, gentle and considerate because that's just who you are? Or that you just don't relate to how the male alters are or maybe a bit of both? Or is it the being female that you relate to? Sorry lots of questions, you don't have to answer any you aren't comfortable with, but some things to think about. Remember this is just about discovering yourself which doesn't usually come all at once. It takes a lot of time for most people. Do you have a therapist you can also discuss things with?

Originally Posted by Adespota

Having alters, especially of both genders, makes it much more complex. Was there a type of non-binary that you related to the most?
I'm also wondering if it possible you relate more to the female alters because they are more caring, gentle and considerate because that's just who you are? Or that you just don't relate to how the male alters are or maybe a bit of both? Or is it the being female that you relate to? Sorry lots of questions, you don't have to answer any you aren't comfortable with, but some things to think about. Remember this is just about discovering yourself which doesn't usually come all at once. It takes a lot of time for most people. Do you have a therapist you can also discuss things with?

Lol, I don't mind. I've been more tuned to the feminem side since forever. As a teenager I felt like I was in the wrong body. The male alters only come out when I need to be "manly" as a disguise, work, socialize. I love women so much I'd be a lesbian lol. People say I act "gay" when I'm not.

I feel like I'm just a conscious- a blank slate- that switch personality traits as needed. I just feel more attuned to the feminine ones. I can switch 2-3 or more times in a conversation, depending on the coping skill needed. My host personality changes, the main one that is the up front- through the years. Right now I'm Susie, homebody house keeper most of the time. But Steve comes out to go to work tomorrow, or maybe Billy or maybe ?

My host has been male personalities in the past. When they were, I didn't feel very well connected to them, like I was unsure or I was missing something. That's why my interest in all this is. Yes, for certain, I can say I'm transgender. But that's my secret! Lol.

I only have a pdoc to prescribe bipolar meds, but looking for a T, but I actually do know who I am, so I'm really not much concerned about talking to anyone about it. I've been like this forever, so it's normal for me!

[Rand.]

It sounds like it'd be hard to have personalities you don't connect with. Sounds hard overall for you, really.
It definitely sounds like you are transgender. I'm a bit the same way in that talking with a therapist didn't really help me much with it. You seem to have a pretty good idea with how you identify, that's really good =)

Thanks for the interaction. It feels good getting it out there like this, seems more real.

[Rand.]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Thanks for the interaction. It feels good getting it out there like this, seems more real.

It's been good getting to know you more Stick around, we're all family here!

Originally Posted by Adespota

It sounds like it'd be hard to have personalities you don't connect with. Sounds hard overall for you, really.
It definitely sounds like you are transgender. I'm a bit the same way in that talking with a therapist didn't really help me much with it. You seem to have a pretty good idea with how you identify, that's really good =)

Yes, I do know myself very well. Never acknowledged like this though. The "cats out of the bag" so to speak. I stayed in denial hoping it will all just fade away.

My alters have always ran the show with no credit. I've fought my mind forever. Now I'm free.