Would it be weird?

Hey, haven't posted here in a long time. Primarily because I've been busy with a pregnancy, work, and finally maintaining a stable, long-term relationship. In short, things have changed a lot for me.

My baby was born last week. The entire pregnancy, people liked to ask me "What will you be called?" I never knew how to answer. My partner was 'Daddy' from the get, and the title has fitted him since she's been born. There's never been any hesitation from either of us calling him 'Daddy'. Me, on the other hand? I still don't have an answer to the question.

I considered many options. I considered just dad, I considered Papa, I considered baba, maddy, etc. But nothing has fit. The only title I feel fits is, ironically, Mommy. I never thought I'd say that, or type those words. I'm still transgender. That, of course, hasn't changed and never will. Yet, I don't know if I'll ever transition. On top of that, I carried my baby for 9 months, gave birth to her, and did the things socially considered those that "Moms" do.

All that said, would it be weird if I - a trans guy - considered myself my baby's "Mommy"? Does anyone else here have a family structure similar to mine, and can you offer any input? Are there, perhaps, any trans women parents who consider themselves "Daddy"? Or any other trans men parents who are fine being called "Mommy"? I'm just wondering if this is a common thing, and if so, what kind of problems you face when announcing your decision.

I can't speak from experience, but I'd say if Mommy resonates with you, you're Mommy. Those are basically social roles, and by being transgender we're already toying with those, so what makes this different?

But most importantly: Congratulations!

I just want to say congratulations! I like the sound of Maddy, instead of the traditional mommy, but what ever you choose, your child will adore you with it.

That was part of my thinking, too. I've always toyed with social roles, even before I came out as trans. So, why should this be different?

I liked the sound of Maddy, too. The thing that worries me about the more neutral terms like Maddy and baba is that they're lesser known. Thinking about that during my pregnancy caused me a lot of anxiety (what if kids pick on her?, what if no one else listens and still calls me mommy or daddy?, etc).

Thanks both of you.

Well, what if Mommy showed up being a t-guy? Mommy is tradionally world known as mom- now talk about awkward...like momma dressed up as a guy? But maddy (or whatever) is new, can be a trend setter and it is it's own claim. It's again like coming out as a new way of being- unbroken ground. So you go and do! Imho

Need to journal a blog about all this because its not that common I think. It was only a little while a go a T-guy gave birth to a baby that became news.

Haha, true, and I've thought about that a lot, too. I guess that comes down to whether I ever medically transition or not. I've pretty much come to the realization that I very well may never medically transition (surgery or hormones) due to financial barriers. But that doesn't necessarily mean that won't change in the future. You know? So, what I've been thinking about a lot is... would it be easier for her to call me mommy until then, and then cross that bridge when we get there? Or would it just be easier to go by something like papa or maddy so there will be no bridge to cross when/if we get there. Aye, it's definitely complicated. Cis people are lucky in that they don't have to overthink titles like this. They don't have to consider comfort of other people, comfort of themselves, etc. When we choose them, we often have to think about both.

I've considered doing a blog. It would definitely give me something to do with all this free time I have lol. It's not too common. I was always afraid of carrying as I've seen that even in the community there's a stigma attached to trans men who do. But I've, also, seen more and more of us making the news. I didn't, but I'm glad for that as I do hate attention haha.

I am all of them
I thought it's easier for them to refer to me in terms I like. Most times I'm mama (because other people call me so -_-) but often I am mapa or pama or nini
(german mommy = mama, daddy = papa)

I thought it's easy for them. The child doesn't know that it's "unusual" to be something other than mom or dad or that dads can come in all sizes and shapes. They don't think of genitals = pronouns etc.

So for me it was important to show them that they can define their gender on their own, and what better method is there than to be open to your kid about your own experience?

It's hard sometimes, I wont lie. It's hard the moment you leave the house. But I try to let the important people know (family, other care takers,..) so that there is consistency. Strangers talk a lot of sh* but at the end of the day you trust the people you love to tell you the truth.

I wish you luck and so much joy! Congrats and strength.

Your child will love you, no mather how you decide on this. Take care of yourself first