TOCD or denial?

am 6 weeks post partum and was diagnosed with OCD a week ago. Well two nights ago my obsessive theme changed while my SO was showing me a video of a trans girl that was like 14. Well the thought "what if. Was trans" or something if they sort crossed my mind and j have been obsessing about it since yesterday and I am FREAKING OUT. I have never questioned my gender and have always loved being s girl and doing girly things. This feels so real and gives me so much anxiety. It would ruin my life. I have the best boyfriend and daughter and I just can't even believe I'm going through this. Is this just OCD or transgender? Just to clarify- I have nothing against transgenders but I do not want that and it would turn my world upside down.

Hello brsapp: Well... the Skeezyks doesn't know what's going on here... But, for what it's worth, I don't think you're transgender...

Weird, that happened to me as well, different scenario but same result. Made me question myself and in a strange way made me fearful of the topic of transgenderism. I'm now a bit more conscious of what's going on in my head and realise that I'm just unfamiliar with the gender identity disorder (I'm not familiar with terms so please excuse any unintentional offenses.) I'd like to over come my "fear", or rather uncertainty towards this topic. I believe knowledge is power and in order to see past my uneasiness is to explore it further and not just from scientific basis, but also get to know some folks here and expand my horizons and just be more knowledgeable.

I know how it feels. I have OCD too. while not related to gender, I do that thing a lot. I don't think you're transgender, you just said it!

but I suggest talking to your therapist, personally just talking it out instead of keeping it inside helps me!

It sounds to me like you're having a lot of anxiety and maybe need to step back and take a deep breath. Remember that only you can decide how you identify and how you present yourself. Even if you should someday decide that you are trans, there is no right was to deal with it. Your would still be yourself, still have your relationship and your daughter. You wouldn't be obligated to change anything or even to tell anyone. It's something that's deeply personal.

For right now, be aware that your hormones, body and brain chemistry are in turmoil right now. Try to relax and realize that what you're feeling right now may not be anything like how you will feel when everything has settled down and gotten back to normal. Problems like OCD can be magnified or you might even temporarily develop other issues. Give yourself the chance to get through all that before you even try to figure out any gender identities.

If you should happen to still have these feelings when you get back to normal then, what I did when I started having serious thoughts like that was to do some in depth research. Not just about being trans, but about many different types of gender issues. Slowly I began to be able to pick out the things that resonated with me and the things that didn't apply to me at all. For me there was a lot of peace in finding the words that described me and being able to distinguish them from other identities.

Actually as part of my exploration regarding my gender, there has been the fear that I would find the girl in me and what would that mean in terms of how I have understood myself for the better part of my life. With t's patience ... I don't even think it was understanding... just patience for me to get through the obsessive fear thinking and get to the place of.. uhh duh... girls don't feel this way, they don't describe things the way I do. I actually in an almost breakdown state, asked her what it feels like to be a girl, because I've never (not in memory) felt like a girl.

I bet that was one of her strangest conversations with someone that was not in a psychotic state.