[damage_case1987]

I was seeking psychiatric help and never got a proper one. I tried medicines but none of them had any effect on me. I was being diagnosed for depression, anxiety and previously had OCD and self-harm/suicidal state.

Recently due to certain events, some therapist said that I may have Narcissistic Personality. And I never came to that conclusion.

1. I never thought that I was special. Although, whether its personal life or professional I usually end up fighting with people coz I get no respect or people didnt include me in a project when I deserved to.

2. I also blamed psychiatrists/psychologists (I still think Im right in some ways) for there improper management of patients and/or the session itself.

3. I never was stimulated by any woman so much so that I chase after her and/or hope for a date and actually go through it.

4. In past 2 yrs, this is my third job. I blamed the mgmt and the team members (rightfully so). They never included me in any project work and when I tried they ran away or made some excuse so that they can keep their assignments and regular work to themselves while I struggled sitting alone. I never completed any appraisal cycle coz I presumed that since I havent done much work in the year what will the mgmt appraise me for. I talked to the mgmt and they just make me handle those situations.

5. My blood boils bcoz of inefficiency of people, the govt etc. I have very strong opinions and likes/dislikes.

Am I a narcissist? Its said that some narcissists do make great leaders. What can I do to turn this hostile nature into a leadership quality?

[kaliope]

If you want to turn into leadership qualities try this....

1. I never thought that I was special. Although, whether its personal life or professional I usually end up fighting with people coz I get no respect or people didnt include me in a project when I deserved to.
dont fight with people. respect has to be earned as well as being invited into projects. if people value you and respect you, you will be invited into projects. do good work and you will be invited.

2. I also blamed psychiatrists/psychologists (I still think Im right in some ways) for there improper management of patients and/or the session itself.
we have to take responsibility for ourselves. pdocs/phd's can only go by the information we give them. however, i do agree with this one to a certain extent because i have been to many bad providers myself. we do however have to let it go and not continue to complain about it. we just have to move on and keep trying till we find the right providers.

3. I never was stimulated by any woman so much so that I chase after her and/or hope for a date and actually go through it.
i dont know that this is a horrible thing, unless you feel you are "too good" for anybody

4. In past 2 yrs, this is my third job. I blamed the mgmt and the team members (rightfully so). They never included me in any project work and when I tried they ran away or made some excuse so that they can keep their assignments and regular work to themselves while I struggled sitting alone. I never completed any appraisal cycle coz I presumed that since I havent done much work in the year what will the mgmt appraise me for. I talked to the mgmt and they just make me handle those situations.
here you are placing blame and feel justified in doing so. to be a good leader, we need to take the lead regardless of what other people are doing. feel confident in ourselves and do whatever work we can well regardless of the situations we are in.

5. My blood boils bcoz of inefficiency of people, the govt etc. I have very strong opinions and likes/dislikes.
it is ok to have strong opinions; however, not ok to measure others by those expectations. acceptance of others is the key to leadership.

I would like to add my take to your explanations with putting myself into the answers of your questions.

Originally Posted by damage_case1987

I was seeking psychiatric help and never got a proper one. I tried medicines but none of them had any effect on me. I was being diagnosed for depression, anxiety and previously had OCD and self-harm/suicidal state.

Recently due to certain events, some therapist said that I may have Narcissistic Personality. And I never came to that conclusion.

1. I never thought that I was special. Although, whether its personal life or professional I usually end up fighting with people coz I get no respect or people didnt include me in a project when I deserved to.

I always thought of my self as a chosen/special one

2. I also blamed psychiatrists/psychologists (I still think Im right in some ways) for there improper management of patients and/or the session itself.

Feel the same until I get them to a point were they understand what I wanted and then allow me to take over the sessions. (Not a good thing but it was so my issues that did this)

3. I never was stimulated by any woman so much so that I chase after her and/or hope for a date and actually go through it.

Can't really follow you here as I never had this problem.

4. In past 2 yrs, this is my third job. I blamed the mgmt and the team members (rightfully so). They never included me in any project work and when I tried they ran away or made some excuse so that they can keep their assignments and regular work to themselves while I struggled sitting alone. I never completed any appraisal cycle coz I presumed that since I havent done much work in the year what will the mgmt appraise me for. I talked to the mgmt and they just make me handle those situations.

I always made sure I made my way to the top by handling situations in a way I deemed necessary. Maybe just strong work ethics ha ha

5. My blood boils bcoz of inefficiency of people, the govt etc. I have very strong opinions and likes/dislikes.

I too have strong feelings and get very heated in situations were one disagrees. I have had issues to say the least with understanding others point of views. Work in progress

Am I a narcissist? Its said that some narcissists do make great leaders. What can I do to turn this hostile nature into a leadership quality?

My narcissism is fueled by becoming better. I take roles that allow me to climb to the highest points and lead situations in a way this has helped with being on top but the issues that come along with this are not healthy. Being the best is a label and with that there are so many more important things to be successful rather than being better than most. Healthy narcissism is important as a leader.... Negative narcissism would not give you the title of leader but rather dictator!!

[Atypical_Disaster]

1. I never thought that I was special. Although, whether its personal life or professional I usually end up fighting with people coz I get no respect or people didnt include me in a project when I deserved to.

I've always thought of myself as special, unique, different, and superior.

Though I will say I have picked arguments when I think I'm not getting the respect I deserve... Ah, entitlement...

2. I also blamed psychiatrists/psychologists (I still think Im right in some ways) for there improper management of patients and/or the session itself.

Me too. I think psychiatrists/psychologists are for the most part intellectually inferior and undeserving of the title "professional". They have caused me a hell of a lot of frustration.

3. I never was stimulated by any woman so much so that I chase after her and/or hope for a date and actually go through it.

Maybe you're gay? Okay I'm totally kidding, but seriously I can't help you there.

4. In past 2 yrs, this is my third job. I blamed the mgmt and the team members (rightfully so). They never included me in any project work and when I tried they ran away or made some excuse so that they can keep their assignments and regular work to themselves while I struggled sitting alone. I never completed any appraisal cycle coz I presumed that since I havent done much work in the year what will the mgmt appraise me for. I talked to the mgmt and they just make me handle those situations.

I always blame people when they are not working up to my standards and being inefficient overall. I am a natural born leader, I always have been. People admire me because I am highly efficient, charismatic, and successful.

5. My blood boils bcoz of inefficiency of people, the govt etc. I have very strong opinions and likes/dislikes.

Ditto, I am naturally a very judgmental person. If I see someone being blatantly inefficient I always call them on it. I have strong opinions as well and I am unafraid to voice them, if people don't like it they can shove it.

Am I a narcissist? Its said that some narcissists do make great leaders. What can I do to turn this hostile nature into a leadership quality?

If you want a real answer, see a competent professional(they are rare, but they exist). As to how to turn your hostility into a leadership quality, that is something that can be worked through in therapy.