[educationiskey]

Hi!
I am new here and I have a question. I am 58 and my husband is 66. We have been together since 1989. I have come to the conclusion that he is a N. I have so many questions that I dont even know where to start and really am having a tough time at the moment to even think. I am so emotionally and physically drained and under so much stress and I know I need to do something. I have not worked since 1999 and have very little money of my own which I am sure that was his plan all along. I know I need to get out. My biggest question now is: Should I do this without telling him that I am leaving? Should I file for a legal separation? Any advice would be so appreciated.

[hazn]

Originally Posted by educationiskey

Hi!
I am new here and I have a question. I am 58 and my husband is 66. We have been together since 1989. I have come to the conclusion that he is a N. I have so many questions that I dont even know where to start and really am having a tough time at the moment to even think. I am so emotionally and physically drained and under so much stress and I know I need to do something. I have not worked since 1999 and have very little money of my own which I am sure that was his plan all along. I know I need to get out. My biggest question now is: Should I do this without telling him that I am leaving? Should I file for a legal separation? Any advice would be so appreciated.

I'm not sure whether it's a good idea to base your decision on replies you get on a forum, from people who don't know your exact situation, etc. And I imagine this could impact a lot of people around you (your children, for example, if you have any). Do you have any stable family or friends in your life who are familiar with your circumstances and might be able to offer you some advice?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by educationiskey

Hi!
I am new here and I have a question. I am 58 and my husband is 66. We have been together since 1989. I have come to the conclusion that he is a N. I have so many questions that I dont even know where to start and really am having a tough time at the moment to even think. I am so emotionally and physically drained and under so much stress and I know I need to do something. I have not worked since 1999 and have very little money of my own which I am sure that was his plan all along. I know I need to get out. My biggest question now is: Should I do this without telling him that I am leaving? Should I file for a legal separation? Any advice would be so appreciated.

I think you need to ask someone offline about this as well. These are big questions. I can't really give much advice based on such minimal information.