Hoarding

Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat. I own a computer, but it's going to be awhile before it's set up, so my phone is my only access to these forums.

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It's so frustrating. Can't seem to make progress with anything. :/

My boyfriend is going away for almost a week, and I dread having to shoulder all the home responsibilities. Taking care of both the indoor cats and outdoor cats is going to so hard on my OCD, not to mention the fact that I'm obese and not in the best shape to be doing it.

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Okay--I have to start cleaning! The dust/mold keeps making me nose get all stuffy and I keep sneezing. And I keep getting paranoid that people will find out...

I keep saying I'll get to it, though... Just keep getting overwhelmed and ignoring it... Blah.

There are some good cleaning tips in the Declutter and cleaning thread. For example, do only 5 minutes if that's all you can do.

Although,even when I've tried doing that, setting a low time limit, I don't get anywhere really because of the anxiety. I feel weak on my legs and my back gives out anyway. I need help, definitely.

I think if I just did 5 minutes it wouldn't make a dent in the mess and I would feel equally discouraged... I need a good manic clean... It used to be that I just had to get started... We'll see. Just... Start!

It wouldn't make a dent here either. But it would focus my attention. It did last time I tried it but I only succeeded in throwing away a small amount of clutter from the kitchen counter. I have to try again when I'm not so afraid I guess. Otherwise I zone out and even though I'm aware of the clutter I'm not really thinking about doing anything about it immediately.

Perhaps I will try inviting someone over again, even if it's brief. And this time try not to cancel or get too ashamed since there would still be only so much I could do... And generally I move a lot of the mess into rooms guests won't see but it's still something... Meh.

I ruined my weekend. I wanted to put some stuff in new bins and take a shower Friday night, but I suddenly felt sleepy so I thought I'd take a nap. I slept into the middle of the night and thought I'd try to get up early to take my shower before going to the horror convention I've been waiting to go to for a few years. Kept planning, finally had a chance to do it. And I was too tired to get up. Missed the con, didn't get my shower. My boyfriend and I went out,, but I didn't enjoy it much, because I'd wanted to go to the con. Plus I was sleepy for much of the time. When we came home, one of my kittens had gone into my room (there's no way to fully close the door, because it wasn't at into the door frame right), got into some dusty areas, spread the dust where she walked, and she was sitting in the bin I keep my paper towels in for drying my hands after washing them. Major OCD stuff going on. And I still have to move stuff into the new bins and got to do it tomorrow, because my boyfriend is going away for a week and I'll be stuck with all the things that need to get done. I'm going to sleep again in a few minutes, if I can, but my kitten walked on my blanket after getting into the dust and I can't use it now. I really don't want my boyfriend to go.

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Oh, I'm sorry to hear about all that. I've done that too, planned something for a long time and then never went or did what I intended. I hope you'll have more success next time. As for the kitten getting the dust on things, I can imagine how you feel. I am the same way about the dust in here but I don't have any pets.

Darn it! I typed a post and I guess I clicked something unintentionally, and I lost the part I'd typed. Well, things are still crappy, but I got a shower, so that helped. Hope the rest of you are making progress.

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Well I ended up cancelling on the visit that was supposed to motivate me to clean and haven't left the house in 3 days...

Spoke to my friend yesterday about helping me. No time is marked out yet for it but I think if I keep bringing it up, it helps.

That's not good. I usually never leave the apartment unless I'm forced to by an appointment.

Well I will be forced to due to lack of toilet paper and food!

I just have everything delivered.

I'm poor, I live away from civilization, I have no car and my electric bike is broken...

So either I go without or I get lots of walking time in...

But avoiding the world (and even the house) is starting to feel pretty crazy...

Oh, I don't have a car either nor bike since I've been living here. I can't walk though, so I just suffering with the expense but I have less money now that the rent was raised. It's impossibly hard to cope. I wish things weren't like this.

Me too... My life was so much worse when I was younger but when I was younger there seemed more possibilities for hope. It was much more dramatically awful... Now it is just empty.

I will at least take the trash out.

Yes, that's a beautiful way of putting it. Yay for you taking the trash out!

I have a car, so I can get out, but I'm going through money that I wanted to hold on to. My boyfriend didn't leave me any money before he left, because I got my Social Security money yesterday. But I have bills to pay and I have to make sure I have enough to feed the cats. I'm going through Cortizone 10 cream like crazy because of the fleas. We need to get the animals out and use a flea bomb. Nobody should have to live like this! The itching is driving me mad!

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And I know how you feel, somat, because youth offers hope, and getting older makes things less likely.

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Well, I was a homeless junkie so its possible that hope was just a fancy word for denial... Now I am just facing life.

Crap... my paranoia is coming back... paranoia of my landlord showing up unannounced and seeing the mess...