Hoarding

What about the 'it doesn't take up that much room' excuse? Like the pair of pants -- they don't take up much room! Neither does this book! But multiple both by 10s or 100s or 1000s and it gets overwhelming...

Lol, yes. I should get rid of a pair of knit pants because those are itchy, while I try to decide what to do with the other pair. Sigh.

if it makes any difference for you to hear you are not alone....in feeling that way a lot of the time....I feel that same way when looking at my home.

its odd cause a lot of times I don't feel great looking at the house even if it seems clean.

now a days a lot of the time I get frustrated due to the fact the house is just not as organized as I might want it to be.

I collect tennis balls and other round things. Maybe it's not hoarding, but I definitely have an abundance of objects like these. For me I feel like it's my choice. I'm happy with the way I live, even if others don't agree with it (apparently I have a ton of useless objects).

Now if you WANT to live differently I think getting help is great. But I like the way things are at my place.

That's good. As long as you aren't harming yourself or others (including animals), I believe you should be able to have as many round items — or any items, really — as you please.

It is just so good to encounter people who feel the same way I do about the extra items and disorganization.

I have a real problem getting rid of anything. If I do decide to part with a perfectly useful item it will go to the Goodwill or some other thrift store. When I see stuff that other people just put in the trash that is not broken or otherwise worn out it drives me nuts. When I go through my closet I may see a shirt that I've never worn but still see the reason that I got it and can't part with it if it still fits. I take broken items apart before throwing them out because the nuts and bolts can go in my hardware supply for use another day.

ask myself how many pants and what kinds do I really need? sometimes helps

prob here too tho not too severe. feel so much lighter rather than weighed down when I can manage to clear our stuff. The best!

Actually it would take longer than a couple of days. It depends what would be done with the stuff. If it's a matter of tossing most and putting the rest into storage, yeah, it would only take a few days of working with a friend or two to help... :/ I'm dying to get the place cleared out. I want it so much.

I have a friend who has the same sort of hoarding tendencies that I have. We both have huge issues with throwing away paper items for various reasons. The result is the same though, homes that are cluttered with various papers on top of dressers, crammed into boxes in closets, in our garages, etc.

But the huge difference between me and my friend is that I desperately want to clear out my home and rid myself of all these papers everywhere but my friend has resigned herself to the fact that she will never be able to part with her beloved papers and she has made peace with that. She keeps her growing collection stuffed mostly in her closet and just doesn't focus on it at all. She is content and just feels free to be and live her life.

Me, on the other hand, is terrified of winding up like my aunt (my mom's sister) who is in her 80s and cannot even move around her house without fear of tripping and falling and breaking a bone or two due to having so much paper clutter. I'm not to her degree but I can see where if I don't get a handle on this, I will get to her level. I tell myself that being aware if half the battle but it's still a real source of anxiety for me (and believe you me, I have more than my fair share).

But I say all this to say that I cannot lie, some part of me is envious of my friend who has the same paper hoarding problem that I have but none of the stress and anxiety that I have. As I watch her I feel like I wish I could either fix my life by either throwing out all this paper junk so I can breathe or stop worrying about it and live with the paper junk like she has also so I can breathe. She has picked a side and she is fine while I am a hot mess!

I have a hard time mostly parting with paper, all sorts of paper (my children's schoolwork and art work; mail - all kinds, letters and emails that I've printed out and cannot part with; cards - birthday cards, anniversary cards, valentine cards, postcards; receipts; old documents - paperwork from apartments I rented before I was even married 18 years ago, documents from old homes we've owned but since sold, car titles on cars I don't own anymore, old handwritten journals that I haven't cracked open in years, old novel manuscripts or elaborate outlines for novel manuscripts that I'm never going to finish, poetry I wrote years ago that even I don't understand anymore, etc., etc., etc.,). I also have a hard time tossing objects/things/items that trigger nostalgia or memories of a former time in my journey in this crazy life of mine. Also items that I feel could be useful even if I'm not using them currently and probably won't be in the near future (old binders, spiral notebooks, construction paper, art and craft supplies).

I have papers mostly concentrated in my bedroom both out and about (on top of dressers) or stuffed away into drawers or stuffed in the closet. There's some stuffed in some drawers in the kitchen, the rest is in the garage. Without my hubby who is NOT a hoarder (quite the opposite) my paper problem would probably be ten times worse.

The non-paper items that I hoard are mostly stuffed in various bags in my closet and in my garage and in my attic. Some of those items are stuffed in drawers in my bedroom too...

My biggest problem with parting with the paper, so to speak, is all these elaborate rituals I feel have to be performed before I can actually throw the papers away. When it comes to mail, especially, I feel like I need to go through each and every piece and make sure any part that has my name or address on it is shredded. When you've built up as much mail as I have, this takes FOREVER and it's exhausting! Even when it comes to my children's old schoolwork that I am willing to part with, I have to make sure that the part that I toss doesn't have their name on it anywhere and if I find their name anywhere on the paper, I have to shred it...

It doesn't help that approximately 14 years ago one of the worse things that can happen to an anxiety-ridden, hoarding-prone individual such as myself happened. I was a victim of identity theft. I found myself sitting in court at 8 months pregnant (with my middle son) with my lawyer on one side and my husband on the other to keep from going to jail behind elaborate charges the thief made on my card to Home Depot. I was already scared in theory of identity theft thus the paper rituals but when it actually happened to me, I became much worse.

Going through non-paper items triggers a "trip down memory lane" so to speak and I get very little done when all is said and done. I also wind up "churning" rather than "purging" (just find a new hidey hole for stuff I'm unable to part with).

I wish I could just take a giant trash bag and dump all of it inside and take it as far away from house as possible so I can have a fresh start. So much easier said than done as you all well know.

Thanks for reading; God Bless.

I used to be the same way, wanting to shred everything that had my name and address on it. That's impossible though now. I have a ton of old mail to throw out. I have a ton of other paper too which I can't part with yet. I wish I could find a way to unpack what I want and store or toss everything I don't want. This is a terrible way to live and I hate being in my apartment.

So I had a little energy boost and was trying to tackle some of the paper clutter around here. I am quickly becoming overwhelmed though.

I don't think I can overcome this on my own; I've come to the conclusion that I need professional help.

It's very hard; however, to find a therapist with experience treating hoarding. I know that I cannot go on like this, though. I look around and I want to throw up sometimes because of the state of some parts of my home. The paper piles here and there don't bring me comfort at all, in fact they scream, "Chaos" and "Disorganization" at me so I don't know why I keep creating them.

I can't stand living like this but I don't know how to stop!

My dream is to get therapy and simultaneously hire a professional organizer. All of these big hopes and dreams ; however, require extra cash that I don't have lying around, especially after Christmas.

So then I get into my cyclical thinking pattern which leads to despair and which ultimately triggers my depression and anxiety. It's a vicious cycle--a hamster wheel, so to speak, that I cannot seem to escape no matter how hard I try...

I know how you feel, Jane. Hang in there!

Try the OCFoundation.org website and see if there is a therapist in your area that you can work with. Best wishes.

I was actually able to find four therapists relatively close to me who it says they specialize in hoarding. I'm going to give them a call either today or next week sometime. I'm tired of living like this! 2015 is the year that I want to at least attempt to do something about it...

I contacted a clutter cleaner but they want to see the place in person for an estimate. I have no money at all, so I guess I'm stuck. I just need movers and packers. Get stuff thrown out and in storage.

The things that keeps me from throwing stuff out are:
1. I'll donate it (never do)
2. Maybe a friend can use it
3. I can sell it on-line (never do)
4. It has some sentimental value
5. I am lazy and don't want to take the time to go through the stuff
6. I don't want to waste stuff
7. I don't want to fill up the landfills
8. I might need it one day!
9. I just don't know what to do with it

Peaceseeker,

I can relate to every last one of these; especially number five. I get overwhelmed quickly whenever I try to make an effort and give up. And if I don't give up and actually am able to get a space cleared or a drawer emptied or a part of the closet emptied and cleared then I feel triumphant for about 2 seconds. After that, I realize that I have so much more to do before I can get the house the way I want it to be. The overwhelming feelings and feelings of defeat overtake my brief feeling of accomplishment because it took so much time and energy to get the little bit done that I did.

Also I sometimes do this thing that I recently found out has a name---churning. Churning is when you go through your stuff and clear a space but you don't actually get rid of the stuff that was in the space you cleared but rather just find another hidey-hole for it somewhere else in the house.

I've been horrible lately: not getting rid of things like I should. I have a big pile of mail that I mean to shred (I worry about identity theft as well) or just toss in the recycling bin (junk & magazines).

Yesterday on my antidepressant experiment I was looking around here filled with despair. I could not bring myself to approach any task however because the thought of a large heavy trash bag I'd have to drag into the back room was kind of thwarting. I need much more help to do this. There's just no way I can do it myself. I did look around and resign myself to certain things going in the trash though when I get started. A lot of it is makeup I bought at clearance prices and never used.

Sent from my A0001

I also get overwhelmed and this is another reason my house looks like it does! I've never heard of churning, but I certainly do this as well! I also think my perfectionism that gets in the way, and self defeating thoughts.

Oh wow! Don't get me started on perfectionism. It seems impossible that I'm such a perfectionist with stuff all over the house that I don't want to be here and desperately want to clear but it is what it is.

When I get the energy to tackle and obliterate my clutter, I think I can get rid of years of accumulated junk in a day or an afternoon and despair and give up when I can't. It's definitely a vicious cycle fueled by my perfectionistic tendencies...

Angelique67, what antidepressant experiment? Are you taking antidepressants to help with your hoarding? If so, do you feel they are working at all? It sounds like you are able to at least inventory in your mind what needs to go. That's a step. I can waste so much time just trying to decide that piece and look up and my time to "purge" is pretty much gone while I'm contemplating...

Do you have any friends or family that can help you out; help you get started at least?

I was trying out Cymbalta again. I kind of want to take it, but I kind of don't because of future discontinuation syndrome. It wasn't prescribed for the hoarding, AFAIK. I haven't taken it long enough to get any benefit from it. I have to try taking it for a couple of weeks straight at least. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to help me. That should give me more motivation only it hasn't. It's easier to ignore the place when I'm not on Cymbalta. I might try it again soon and see if I can get past the side effects. It makes me very dizzy.