Hoarding

The thing I'm having trouble with (well im having trouble with all of it) is throwing something out every time I buy something. I had never heard of that before. I bought a shower seat that no one can put together and it may be too small anyway. I didn't throw anything of equal size away. I don't know what I have of equal size.

I just came back to reread this thread after getting really frustrated about not being able to throw away 2.5 year old food I don't want and which was probably expired when I bought it. I finally did it, but what on earth is wrong with me that it's so hard to get rid of something so unnecessary???

I hadn't heard of churning, but I do that too. By the time I find the box of stuff I was going to get rid of, it's like finding all new treasures. I don't want to get rid of it anymore. I try to just go straight to the trash can instead of doing donation boxes now.

Yes, I'm to the point where I don't want to sort what to keep versus what to throw out versus what to give away; it just adds to the stress. I wish I could bag it all up and throw it all away and come home to a clean, organized house. Better yet, I dream of becoming the opposite of what I am and that is a minimalist. I'd feel like I could breathe with space around me versus the "stuff" I'm surrounded with now. I know what I want and I even know what to do (throw things away) it's just so hard for me.

Hvert, I know what you're saying about wondering what is wrong with yourself. It just doesn't make sense and I know this yet I still can't let go of stuff that I don't want anymore and that shouldn't be cluttering up spaces in my home. Talk about misery...

I read something a while ago about how getting rid of stuff can be overwhelming if we try to find the perfect home for whatever we get rid of. Like, I don't want these slippers anymore, but they are still new, so someone must want them - and so then I hold onto them thinking that I will find someone to give them to.

I think having to shred papers is sort of related to that - we can't just throw things out, it's a process - and I think for other people, it's not a process, it's just throwing stuff out.

With stuff that is just obviously not useful to me, like the food, I just don't get it.

I also am a minimalist sometimes, like when I travel - and I am so clean and organized in shared spaces. Why can't I be that way at home? It just feels so hopeless sometimes.

My husband is a hoarder, buys things for around the house, i admit im a bit of one too, but i just buy nick knacks, my husband buys stuff we'll never use and my front hall is a mess, i'm trying to do work in the living room, but no it's getting worse again, after i cleaned it last year. he did say hes going to spring clean with me and get rid of most of the stuff, i can't wait!

I find that as I try to get rid of stuff, I run into road blocks. I was cleaning out a stack of paper and found a flash card I wanted to send to a friend. Before I can send the card, I need to make sure it's erased. It doesn't fit in my current laptop, so I have to find my old laptop. I dug that out, but now I can't find the power cord! I've spent forty minutes on this and still have gotten nowhere -- and I've meant to send the card for about three years now. It's maddening!

This is the second time in two days that I have been unable to locate something I wanted, even after a lengthy search.

Hvert,

My husband says I take "trips down memory lane" that slow me down and halt all progress. For example, I will be clearing away papers and will find an old personal calendar that I will tell myself that I will "peek inside" just to see what was going on in my life X years ago. Next thing you know, I'm on the floor laughing and crying at memories triggered by the things I wrote in this old calendar. Suddenly a shiny new day that was ripe with the promise of what I could accomplish with clearing away clutter morphs into afternoon then evening with very little progress due to my "trip down memory lane" as my husband coins it. It's maddening!

I'm still peeling away the layers of " stuff" after getting help last year from an organizer. For those of you who are interested about how much it costs, she charges $40.00 an hour. What is funny is that I get way more done in the week before she comes than we actually get done the day she comes. I can't stand for her not to see progress! I broke my wrist in January, putting me behind, but I recently started concentrating on selling things on Beat until I can get back to the clean up.

She has really made me realize how much of my borderhoarder tendencies are due to trouble with attention related issues, and also energy fluctuation due to depression.
I've recently realized that it won't be long before I won't need her for part of this and will be able to hire a regular house cleaner if I choose carefully . I think if I hired someone who showed disapproval of the way I live I might shut down.

One thing she did that really helped was to take donations to the Goodwill or other places for me. I had 5 huge bins of partly finished quilts that my mom made before she died, and she found an organization which makes and takes blankets to people who need them. It is so much easier for me to get a box of stuff ready to donate and let her take it. I think I would still have the quilts if she hasn't found someone who could use them.

I'm an electronic hoarder on my computer, thousands of files and pictures and folders.

Oh jeez, i tried to tacke the sunporch today, and totally overwhelmed myself. It's the worst place left in my house , and I totally want to use it as a sunporch this year. I still can't lift with my left hand, but I'm going to try to get rid of 5-6 things a day off the porch.

I just feel like i should be able to do this getting rid of stuff. But this is the worst type for me - wood and other materials that I will probably use for something eventually . It looks exactly like an episode of Hoarders.

Well, I'm not sure if my friend will be able to help me or not. He estimated it would take about a week. I'm not sure when/if I'm moving either. So I'm still in a holding pattern in hell.

I have no physical ability to do anything myself but I hate the way it is here. There's just no space at all. There's a path through the cartons. That's it. With junk piled up on the cartons.

This forum searching sucks-- I searched for hoarding the other day and only today stumbled upon this as there was a new post...

I have not got rid of recycling since I moved here... and the house isn't just cluttered, it isn't clean... And I stress out because I feel guilty since it isn't my house and surely I have done actual damage...

That stuff about the TV show was interesting. At so many times in my life I have thought of selling myself to reality TV but I never even thought of this show (I have a lot of issues...) Still, couldn't deal with the embarrassment of it! I won't even let anyone come over and help me... I won't let people come over at all... I am always stressed that my landlord will show up...

I was adopted and read somewhere that there is a link between the two (probably due to attachment issues). This makes sense for me. Also, I wasn't allowed boundaries as a kid and my parents would always buy me things then throw them away and lie about it...

One of these days I have to stop stressing about it and actually do something...

It helps to have help. Can you afford to hire an organizer?

As long as we're on the subject of hoarding, I was looking to see if there was a forum here for it. Even if it falls under OCD, you'd think it might be in the title (OCD, hoarding and trichotillomania), if only to make it easier to find.

I'd like to talk about hoarding, especially of books, but I welcome any supportive conversation. Angelique, I know you started this thread, and I'm not trying to take over, but I would like to find some people who "get me" because I'm not sure I'm a hoarder or it's just my OCD and a natural desire in me to not give up my books until I've read them. My OCD is the bigger problem, because I can choose not to buy more books (except for Writer's Market, which I get every year), but I'm not giving up any more than I already did when we moved here, because I got rid of about half my books, and I'm not giving up any more. My sister got on me about this last night, and I'm boiling mad. I have no problem getting rid of the trash (I have OCD issues with it, but I mean I don't feel any need or desire to keep the trash), and I'll even go through some of my other possessions and give up some of those, but do not ask me to give up my books! There are certain possessions I won't give up, but there are some I will.

I rented a storage unit to put my books and stuff in, so don't tell me I have to give up my things! We have to figure out the "how to" of some things, but it'll get done. I'm paying for the unit, so nobody needs to worry about it but me, you know?

I know my sister cares about me, but I don't want her telling me what she thinks I need to do. I could say a few words about her, too.

I found a local company that clears out hoarders' homes, and they say they work with the hoarder, being respectful of his/her wishes, and doing it as privately as possible (no company name on the trucks, for instance). I'm trying to talk my boyfriend into letting me contact them and get more information, although I'd prefer to handle this all ourselves (we just need to get my books moved to the storage unit, plus anything else I decide can go in there, and then we can tackle cleaning up).

Sorry, I'm going on a bit of a tangent, because I'm still angry. But I want to help you deal with your situations, too. Maybe there are companies like I've described in your areas. I have no idea what it costs, but the info on the company I looked at days it depends on how much weight the trash is.

Sent from my SM-N915V using Tapatalk

Perhaps we should make a hoarding social group. It seems we have enough people.

Hi Maven, it costs $40/hour here for cleaning and organizing help. Another person wanted to come in person to give an estimate and I've held off on that so far.

Sounds good but it would be hard for me to access I think since I don't have a computer.

Man....I keep saying it's not a problem....but....I can't get the vacuuming done. My table is covered, and nothing seems to go back where it's supposed to go. Most of my problems started 5-6 years ago when I was in so much pain from my back. I would leave stuff on top of the cupboards( half of my stove can't be used) becouse it hurt too much to bend. It was after the surgery that things got even worse. Those list others have put here, yep, yep,

Plus I see so much stuff that could be used as art. Once when I was manic I hauled a car battery up ( I live in a one bedroom walk up) because yeah it would make part of a terrific art installation. I've a pile now in the living room and plan to call a junk removal service. They seperate things and give them to the places that need them and to recycling centers....but I'm so afraid because there are no prices. They come out and then tell you how much. I've not got a lot of money.so that scares me. Yet there's no way I can haul it out on my own.

Clothes!! I have three styles, one for manic, one for depression and normal and of course they all come in different sizes and I'm loath to get rid of all of them even though I know at 57 I'm not going to be wearing most of them ever again.

Sometimes I feel like just opening the balcony door and throwing it all over the railing. It would be nice and easy. ....if I could get myself to actually let go without saying, oh I'll find a use for that.

Yes, clothes, I have way too much of them. I'm going to try to get rid of all the smaller ones. I'm still waiting to find out if my friend will have time to help me this summer.

I can relate, but I bought a bunch of external HDDs to solve my issue, I still worry that my HDDs will go missing or stop working though.

I also use stuff for 'art'... Sometimes I make cool stuff but not worth the hassle! Btw, it was stated earlier that someone wasn't sure if it was their OCD or hoarding. Hoarding is a form of OCD.

I keep a disaster zone of a living space and I only take the trash out maybe 4 times a year and the recycling less than once a year. I don't let people come in my room not even family or my closest friends. I have waking nightmares that my roommate will enter my room and kick me out of his apartment because of my room. My whole life is in my room. I'm too anxious to leave it. So it gets bad. And I have a lot of shame and anxiety about it.

My boyfriend says no to the organization that I mentioned, at least for now. He doesn't think it's come to that yet.

I want to get my books and everything else I don't need at home (except for a few wants) into the storage unit, but my boyfriend is going away for a week next weekend. He goes on so many vacations and trips. Things don't get done.

I also made a huge mistake several days ago. I have told my sister we live in a mess, and I thought she understood from my description, but then I had the stupid idea to send her pics of my bedroom. Now she's all about fire hazards and dangers. I'm not stupid (except for sending her those pics). I'm aware this is bad. I don't know why I sent those pics.

I wish we could all form a group and help each other clean up our situations, doing it according to each other's sensitive issues.

I also wish we could start anew. I'd love to be able to live on my own and handle myself. I know hoarding is a form of OCD, but I heard they put, or will be putting, it in its own category in the latest or upcoming DSMV, or whatever it's called.

Sent from my SM-N915V using Tapatalk

bummer

Can you access chat groups? There is a chat room for hoarders/messies on another forum that has been helpful to me. I think I may have already linked it in this thread.

Not since I lost my PC password (or for some reason it isn't working in chat). It's very hard to try to access the full site features on small phones. But I hope to get a new computer at some point.