Need help, think i posted in right place

OK im am 23yo and have had clinical depression for about 10years, recently i got extremely physically ill, during this time i was suffering from extreme anxiety, my first panic attack. I felt like I was losing my mind and going crazy. I had gotten better physically since then, but i seem to be having symptoms of OCD since. I constantly have unwanted thoughts or images in my mind, mostly about harming someone close to me or whom I love. I am not a violent person and could not see myself acting on these unwanted thoughts and i know i wont, but nontheless the thoughts drive me crazy. I do have the compulsion part however, no rituals or anything. I talked to my doctor and he gave me lexapro which helped with the depression and anxiety, but only slightly helped the unwanted thoughts. What do i do? does anyone else have just the "o" part of ocd? please help

Hello kjb1985, it's nice to meet you, welcome to psych central.
My advice is to talk to your doctor again about this, maybe he can help. Are you seeing a therapist? Therapy can help you learn skills to deal with these kind of thoughts, meds alone probably wont take care of all your symptoms.

No i am not seeing a therapist at this time, i recently got laid off and have no insurance, ( also doesnt help the anxiety haha ) i was going to speak to a therapist before, but i was scared, most of those obscessions about harming people i love was mostly directed about my 3yo son, whom i just received custody of and love very much more than anything, i was afraid they would say im crazy and not a fit parent, until after i read up on this illness and found those thoughts are quite common, but too late now i am unemployed

Do you have a clinic you can go to? We have one here in my town in KY called communicare and their price is $10 if you don't have ins. or a job $20 if you do and the meds are only $3 a month a script. Later I'll send you a link to a site that lists free or reduced pscych care for differant areas. And they won't take your son from you. Therapists understand those thoughts and that most of the time the patient is harmless.
Here is that link http://mentalhealthamerica.net/go/find_therapy. Good luck!

This is a situation that hits very close to my heart. My first son was murdered by my ex-wife even as I'm righting this I can feel my palms starting to sweat...she is currently serving a 50 year sentence.
I don't know where you are, so I'm not sure if the medical card is different from state to state... here in Illinois, if you are unemployed & a single parent you can get the medical card. Check with your local welfare program see if you qualify...

I understand your conserns about being labeled an unfit parent, but that child is the first priority, & they may see you as being a good parent in that you were gutsy enough to face that to say I need help. The child here is the primary consern.

Were you working when you won custody? Do you have others around you that help you care for the child? I imagine between gaining custody & being unemployed, you are spending more time with your child than you ever have...

Are you stressed about any issues with you child?

Just as a word of caution....don't do anything stupid...if you hurt that child, you will get caught & you won't get leanency especially if you have not seeked professional help.

I don't say that to scare you, just as something to keep in mind if you get closer to feeling like you could follow through.

Frustration is normal...we've all been frustrated with are kids at some point...there is no shame in admitting that or admitting that it is harder than you thought.

We also have a healthy parenting forum here that may lend advise if you are felling overwhelmed about something...

I will make a sincere plea to you as a father that has lost a child in this way...feel free to PM me about any issues I will personally respond as best I can. You can let me know what state you live in & I will even research insurance options...

I also live in Illinois, I used to live in rockford as well. I am not concerned about harming my child he is my life, i know its all in my head or part of anxiety/ocd. Yes i was working at the time when i got custody, and yes i am stress about situation concering him. Not him exactly, its his mother, not the best parent in the world, thus why i fought for custody. it was a very stressful two years fighting for him. glad it worked out tho. But yes if anyone knows somekind of pych healthcare thats cheap please let me know thx for all the replies everyone

Illinois, great..I'll PM you more on it...
Thanks for not taking me just covering your child & the safety thing personally...That becasue of my past is always my first conscern...