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#1
Jun 15, 2009, 10:44 PM
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Hello.
After my temper explosion a few weeks ago, I have cooled down and am feeling regret for my actions. I still think I was right to be angry initially, but I did let my anger get out of control and violence is not acceptable. I feel regret for hitting my dad. Secondly, I have had another health scare. My doctor never thought it was anything serious, ( he said he was 99% sure it wasn't) but I had to have a colonoscopy anyone. It turned out that they didn't find anything in the bowel, and they told me that this is good news. In the aftermath of this latest health scare, I am feeling flat and unmotivated again, but the wheels are in motion already for me to be working in about 6 weeks at my brother - in laws job. It's funny that I'm at my highest motivation when I am afraid of dying of something. |
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#2
Jun 15, 2009, 11:18 PM
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Hello back, BT...
I'm sorry for the scare you had but very glad it turned out all right for you. It took courage for you to post about your regret about the incident with your father. I applaud your honesty, and willingness to take responsibility for your part in it--your part--but I'm sure there was more going on that brought about that situation. I hope you and your parents are able to find some middle ground, if not then you need to take care of yourself...even if it means stepping away from them for a bit. Good to see you back, Catherine
__________________
The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
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#3
Jun 16, 2009, 12:02 AM
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I agree with Catherine (perhaps because that is my name as well?
 ) It is very well possible that your anger was justified and understandable, the key is control. Try very hard to prevent other people from controling you by using your anger against you and life will be much better. I'm glad that your health scare worked out. I think that it's perfectly natural to put things in perspective when you're faced with something that could change life as you know it. Try to hang on to what's important in life. Mistakes the way we learn and grow. Good luck with the new job!
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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#4
Jun 16, 2009, 03:13 AM
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BT...
I'm proud of you for owning up to the part you played in this situation. Anger is a very healthy and normal emotion. The difficulty is finding the most appropriate way to cope with it when it becomes overwhelming. I don't think it is easy for anybody. Some people suppress it, some people act out on it. I think the important thing here is that you have been able to identify with your emotions and actions and hopefully you will be able to find some middle ground eventually with your responses to your anger. I'm sure it was not easy to post this, but I'm glad you did. Take care, and know that regardless of what has happened, I will be here to support you in your efforts to learn and grow from this experience. I am sorry that you had your health scare, but I am glad it was just that...a scare...and nothing more. Talk with you later!! 
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#5
Jun 17, 2009, 07:12 AM
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Thanks for your support everyone.
Tonight I saw my doctor and he confirmed that I have nothing to worry about. Tomorrow I have a job interview, and the first step to moving on from health anxiety, hopefully, will be getting a job. I'm a good chance to get it, but I am stressed about it. I saw my psych, psychiatrist and doctor today and wasn't particularly happy with either of them. My psych was ok, it was our last session (she leaves her current employer soon) and she spent about 20 minutes speaking to me about what I can do from now on, but I didn't feel that it was a good session really, I saw through her today when she was disguising her therapy as chit-chat. My psychiatrist . . . i was 2 minutes late and he let the next person in ahead of me cos I wasn't there. Then he didn't really talk to me much at all, asked me how things were, asked me how the pills were, see you in 2 weeks. My doctor . . .lol . . . i think his wife called him and he spent a while talking to her about what seemed like a pressing matter. I know it has nothing to do with it, but it's almost like the end of an era today. My support people were not so great today and it's time for me to understand that I have to rely on myself. |
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#6
Jun 17, 2009, 10:13 AM
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BT,
Know that you are in the thoughts of people who care... The ending of an era...yeah, that's a hard one. At my age, I've been through several  most of them have been good although scary when they were on the cusp. Best wishes for this new beginning to be the start of good things for you, Catherine
__________________
The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
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#7
Jun 17, 2009, 07:56 PM
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I don't think it was very difficult to admit my error in this situation to be honest. I just know that I feel guilty and I am aiming to make some sort of apology to the parties involved. Apologizing to my nephews should be the easiest.
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#8
Jun 17, 2009, 09:57 PM
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What a wonderful attitude Biscuit. The best we can do is learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them. All in all it sounds like you're on the right path. Good luck.
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
 Catherine2
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#9
Jun 17, 2009, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
I admire your attitude, but please remember to be kind to yourself... Making amends is always so hard to do, at least it was for me. I felt embarrassed, sorry and mixed up but it was the right thing to do. Not just for them but also for me. Guilt is a wasted emotion, BT. We acknowledge what we did wrong, make the amends, and do our best not to repeat the action. How did the job interview go? Know that you were in my thoughts yesterday for it to go well for you. Catherine
__________________
The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
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#10
Jun 18, 2009, 02:56 AM
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Quote:
I'm at least glad that I did something different and drove out to an unknown area, shaved, showered, etc and generally made an effort. |
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#11
Jun 18, 2009, 01:17 PM
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Making an effort counts!
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
| Catherine2
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#12
Jun 18, 2009, 04:30 PM
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You are sounding hopeful and positive and it sounds like you feel better. I'm so glad.
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| Catherine2
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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