[Michah]

I have found myself on this forum less and less.......I thought it was because I needed some time to myself, the overwhelming claustrophobia of the "group", the lack of satisfaction due to physical health issues......

But the reason I have observed more then anything is the feeling that, not only am I isolated by 'normal" people, I am also isolated by "my own kind". That there is a lack of compassionate dialogue, people are being vilified in the name of triggers, personal experience.......isn't the idea of PC to give and to take? To move quietly through the storm? To provide others with UNCONDITIONAL acceptance REGARDLESS of their opinion/action/history?

Funnily enough, myself as a person with Borderline PD and past severe rage issues, feels little on the judgement of the general population, but when i am on a supposedly safe emotional terrain here, I am limited to the forum that relates to Borderlines.......PC imitating real life? I am disappointed!!

I have seen much exclusion of people who are angry, struggle with anti-social feelings and are basically misanthropic.......I am not hurt, more disappointed as I thought I was in a place of acceptance and free flowing ideas, that people are entitled to their opinion, but is is bordering on bigotry, judgement and hostility.......Obviously, if you feel like you have upset someone there is nothing wrong with apologising, I am the first if I thought I have offended, but to brand someone before they have a chance to defend themselves is basically attacking them.

Oh well, I will stick to my own patch, shall I? I have not worked this hard for so many years to continue experiencing discrimination on a said "compassionate" website.

Michah

[(JD)]

Michah it's always disheartening to hear of a member who feels excluded in some way. I'm sorry that you are in that situation, but do suggest that it isn't the whole of the general populus here to exclude.

You may post in any forum, and are not limited to just the one (unless Admin has told you so, which I doubt!) Remember that many members here are a bit leery of new members, or those who don't post much or share about themselves. It's part of their self care.

Have you tried some chats? DocJohn's chats are quite safe...as are the hosted chats (see schedule above.) Do you PM with anyone whose posts you agree with or enjoy? You might try that if you haven't.

Yes, there are some members who might be in a tough spot when you are also on, but stick around and I think you'll find it is a pretty good group of people.

[FerretGuy5]

I don't think there is discrimination. We all are self absorbed with our own particular problems. Stick around and give it a chance. I haven't met a mean spirited person here yet.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by _Sky

Michah it's always disheartening to hear of a member who feels excluded in some way. I'm sorry that you are in that situation, but do suggest that it isn't the whole of the general populus here to exclude.

You may post in any forum, and are not limited to just the one (unless Admin has told you so, which I doubt!) Remember that many members here are a bit leery of new members, or those who don't post much or share about themselves. It's part of their self care.

Have you tried some chats? DocJohn's chats are quite safe...as are the hosted chats (see schedule above.) Do you PM with anyone whose posts you agree with or enjoy? You might try that if you haven't.

Yes, there are some members who might be in a tough spot when you are also on, but stick around and I think you'll find it is a pretty good group of people.

Thanks Sky, you always know how to take the sting out of the tail.......yep, tried chats, but everyone feels like they are yelling...... which is fine because I know they are not, but just not for me, it is terrifying and I am a TERRIBLE typer! Just noticed in my sensitive state, more anger than is necessary(maybe I am angry and thats why it is "there"?) I don't want to psychoanalyse it this much........but in the spirit of triggers, discrimination(perceived or otherwise) is definitely one of mine!

Groups make me feel sometimes like I am being swallowed alive.......it takes a lot of energy.......I also don't want to lose the people I respect on here.......I shall overcome....

Cheers babe......

PS I am not limited to the Borderline PD forum by admin......but after this thread I may be relegated to the corner!!!

[Michah]

Originally Posted by FerretGuy5

I don't think there is discrimination. We all are self absorbed with our own particular problems. Stick around and give it a chance. I haven't met a mean spirited person here yet.

Thanks Ferret guy.......I have not directly encountered one(towards me) either, just a general undercurrent of raw hostility.......I am concerned for the one who encounters it!

I am short in patience with what I perceive to be judgement......I have focused a lot of my healing on not being that way.......it is unfair to expect others to do the same........but effects me nonetheless...

Thanks for your reply.......

[Tmac]

I think sometimes our own insecurities prevent us from connecting with others along with the fact that people are all here for the same reason, to connect with others who would understand us better than the real life experiences with people. If you are posting in only bBPD you are restricting yourself from meeting others who genuinely care about others here on this site. I think when we have mental health issues we can be over sensitive to the response of others or the lack of a response. I think discrimination is too strong of a word to explain how you feel, but I do know what you mean. You would like to be more accepted and acknowledged. What I would recommend if you wish to reach out to others that are BPd go ahead and post in there but also possibly double dip by posting the same thing in depression at the same time. See what kind of response you get. Also the chat rooms are a great way to meet others and for a bond with. Just remember we all are members to this tise for a reason....to feel better and connect with others that either have the same conditions or people who have expreience with the issues. Start poking around in the other forums and open up a whole new world for yourself. There are plenty of people waiting to hear from others like you.

[ECHOES]

Interpretting the 'tone' of the written word is not entirely possible and projection is highly probable. I have done it so many times I can't count. I have learned to not always trust my first interpretation.

Sometimes excitement and enthusiasm can be interpretted as pushy and know-it-all (to me). Sometimes someone writing at length about something feels the same way (to me). So it's tricky and yes we are all in different places, working out way through.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

projection is highly probable.

Hi Michah, I don't believe that we have directly ever crossed paths here so I don't know you at all but Echoes explanation is one to consider........ I have been a target of a person's projection IRL and it totally bewildered me........ I am sorry that you are having this issue.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Tmac

I think sometimes our own insecurities prevent us from connecting with others along with the fact that people are all here for the same reason, to connect with others who would understand us better than the real life experiences with people.I agree, but I do not miss the overall acceptance of people in real life. I do not base acceptance on anyone other than myself. I have a select few people in my life that I am very comfortable with. That is enough for me!! If you are posting in only bBPD you are restricting yourself from meeting others who genuinely care about others here on this site. I think when we have mental health issues we can be over sensitive to the response of others or the lack of a response. I think discrimination is too strong of a word to explain how you feel, but I do know what you mean.Thanks Tmac, but discrimination is exactly what I mean. I have heard one person say that a person, whos thread they responded to, should be removed from this website due to the fact that they did not agree or felt angry! Who is to say what a person can or can't do, feel or not feel! You would like to be more accepted and acknowledged.No, I am way past that......more that I hate seeing people crucified because they make people feel uncomfortable. By the nature of my disorder, I have OFTEN made people feel that way. It is no wonder that I am protective of people who are new to this experience. What I would recommend if you wish to reach out to others that are BPd go ahead and post in there but also possibly double dip by posting the same thing in depression at the same time.Will do Tmac.......once I get over my spiritual fatigue See what kind of response you get. Also the chat rooms are a great way to meet others and for a bond with. Just remember we all are members to this tise for a reason....to feel better and connect with others that either have the same conditions or people who have expreience with the issues. Start poking around in the other forums and open up a whole new world for yourself. There are plenty of people waiting to hear from others like you.

Cheers, Tmac........been here a long time.......think I need a little break....

Thanks for your input........that experience I talked of above with that poster really saddened me.......I really had to defend the person who started the thread.......

[Michah]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Interpretting the 'tone' of the written word is not entirely possible and projection is highly probable. I have done it so many times I can't count. I have learned to not always trust my first interpretation.

Sometimes excitement and enthusiasm can be interpretted as pushy and know-it-all (to me). Sometimes someone writing at length about something feels the same way (to me). So it's tricky and yes we are all in different places, working out way through.

Echoes, thanks. I know what you mean......It was not directed at me, it was directed at someone else and it really saddened me.......if it triggers, don't respond, thats my motto. I come across triggers all the time and just accept that it is everyones story but this person I encountered was VICIOUS. I felt that I had to honourably defend the thread starter.

Cheers for responding.......I am tired.

[Sannah]

Michah said:

"I have heard one person say that a person, whos thread they responded to, should be removed from this website due to the fact that they did not agree or felt angry! Who is to say what a person can or can't do, feel or not feel!"

This is something different here and I can understand what you are saying. Many people here are here because they do have issues with boundaries. This definitely sounds like a boundary issue.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Hi Michah, I don't believe that we have directly ever crossed paths here so I don't know you at all but Echoes explanation is one to consider........ I have been a target of a person's projection IRL and it totally bewildered me........ I am sorry that you are having this issue.

Thanks Sannah......not directly to do with me....just other stuff I have encountered.......Yep, I am an old hat when identifying projection and generally in IRL I do not encounter much of it now.......but I have my comfort blanky!!(My home, my family and my friends).......

Thanks for your input.......

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Michah )))))))))))))))))
I just want you to know I appreciate your posts and your presence here

[SeptemberMorn]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Michah said:

"I have heard one person say that a person, whos thread they responded to, should be removed from this website due to the fact that they did not agree or felt angry! Who is to say what a person can or can't do, feel or not feel!"

This is something different here and I can understand what you are saying. Many people here are here because they do have issues with boundaries. This definitely sounds like a boundary issue.

Some of us are farther along on our journey than others. It could be this person is at the beginning of theirs and hasn't learned to not react to some things.

If it wasn't directed at you, then perhaps the thing to do is make a mod or admin aware of it. That way you have done your good deed and not involved yourself to the point of pain.

BTW, I'm well aware that this happens at times and I so do understand where you are coming from.

Take care of YOU.

Not met a mean-spirited person yet?? Where are you hanging out? I need to go there. Just kidding as I'm "unjoining" due to mean-spirited comments.

Originally Posted by FerretGuy5

I don't think there is discrimination. We all are self absorbed with our own particular problems. Stick around and give it a chance. I haven't met a mean spirited person here yet.

[Rhapsody]

While I understand where you are coming from and why you are feeling the way you do I have to say that PC has calmed down a lot in the last three years that I have been around to see it.... and I think the reason for the calm is that most of us have learn to accept each and every members where they are in their healing and not judge them on our place of healing.

LIFE is a constant Roller Coaster
... some love it - some hate it, but in the end most of us enjoy it

[Pikku Myy]

(((((((())))))))) here reading thru colums about anxiety and panic attachs.. But sometines wonder out of my world...

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

((((((((((((((((( Michah )))))))))))))))))
I just want you to know I appreciate your posts and your presence here

Thanks Fuzzy.......really nice to see you......

[Michah]

Originally Posted by SeptemberMorn

Some of us are farther along on our journey than others. It could be this person is at the beginning of theirs and hasn't learned to not react to some things.

If it wasn't directed at you, then perhaps the thing to do is make a mod or admin aware of it. That way you have done your good deed and not involved yourself to the point of pain.

BTW, I'm well aware that this happens at times and I so do understand where you are coming from.

Take care of YOU.

Cheers September Morn......yep that one experience and some other "disquiet" feelings have been rumbling for me.......this too shall pass.....

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Suzy5654

Not met a mean-spirited person yet?? Where are you hanging out? I need to go there. Just kidding as I'm "unjoining" due to mean-spirited comments.

Suzy, don't "unjoin" sweet cheeks......as with all things, it is in flux.......you can come and join us in Borderline Forum if you like!! Anyone is always welcome.......

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

While I understand where you are coming from and why you are feeling the way you do I have to say that PC has calmed down a lot in the last three years that I have been around to see it.... and I think the reason for the calm is that most of us have learn to accept each and every members where they are in their healing and not judge them on our place of healing.

LIFE is a constant Roller Coaster
... some love it - some hate it, but in the end most of us enjoy it

Thanks Rhapsody.....I do have high expectations with regards to manners! I did not have to compare with past as I have only been here for about 6 months.......I am glad that it has improved in the last 3 years........i have noticed a shift though in the last 3 months.......got my radar going!

Cheers for replying in your healing and holistic way.......I appreciate it

[Michah]

Originally Posted by karoliinareddish

(((((((())))))))) here reading thru colums about anxiety and panic attachs.. But sometines wonder out of my world...

Good on you babe.......it is good to see you!

[AAAAA]

I'm sorry that you're feeling discriminated against or that someone has been rude here. We're all people with our own issues. I've only experience what I would term an negative experience here once and to be honest the member was expressing an opinion that I REALLY didn't agree with so the issue was mine not hers.

I do think that the guidelines are in place to protect us all. I don't see it as discrimination at all, merely a precaution to allow us all a safe, comfortable experience. I personally have a very difficult time dealing with SI for example therefore I avoid that forum and I appreciate the fact that I can safely participate in the rest of the site without fear of triggers.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

I'm sorry that you're feeling discriminated against or that someone has been rude here. We're all people with our own issues. I've only experience what I would term an negative experience here once and to be honest the member was expressing an opinion that I REALLY didn't agree with so the issue was mine not hers.

I do think that the guidelines are in place to protect us all. I don't see it as discrimination at all, merely a precaution to allow us all a safe, comfortable experience. I personally have a very difficult time dealing with SI for example therefore I avoid that forum and I appreciate the fact that I can safely participate in the rest of the site without fear of triggers.

AAAA, the discrimination was not directed at me........it was one experience I encountered.......the main issue I have is " pack mentality". I just believe that a person cannot defend themselves if "it is coming from all sides". That is best done privately one on one if you have an issue.......

The reason i was hesitant to "venture" to other forums is due to the vilifying of other members.......I am dx with one of the most stigmatised disorders.....I do not want to incite judgment, that is not why I am here......strong, fair opinions are fine, but basic manners are requested.

I figure if I have nothing nice to say, I don't say it at all........especially not in front of a public forum where there is the possibility of humiliating the person it is directed towards......I do not believe that a person should be backed so far into a corner that they feel they have to defend themselves.

It is my understanding that some people really use this website as a life line........we need to be mindful of those people and protect them until they can protect themselves.......jmo

Cheers for your input.......

I have been pushed into corners where I have had to defend myself purely because I am borderline.

I know of at least another one person who was in the same place.

However this site is still the best I have ever come across and certainly will NOT be leaving unless pushed out lmao.