[Kathyanita]

It has become my experience that these forums are not unlike the rigid hierarchical structure of a DID victim. Inorder to survive and not upset the familiar defensive structure we have those among us who are allowed to enact the roles one finds in a DID personality. There is a resistance to coconsciousness among us so that the fragile one is recognized when portraying the role; the strong one is allowed to be heroic; the advisor is allowed and sought after for giving advice; the regressed orphan is adopted to be mothered by the system, and on and on. Any deviation is threatening to the comfort of the system so the child cannot be recognized for an ability to advise- the fragile cannot be allowed to enact bravery- the advisor cannot fail in the soundness of the advice. To step into each others roles would require a leap of faith that we are not as impermiable as we would think by habit.
I am withdrawing from this site and all attendant controversy as I have a great interest in growing up. Be well.

[wisewoman]

I really don't know what to say. Please do what you must for yourself and know that I have enjoyed getting to know you and your being here. I can't even have an opinion. Good luck.

[SpazKatt]

um *HUGS* you WILL be missed.. is sad

i'm sorry to see you go. pat

[(JD)]

Also, I am sorry to see anyone leave when it truly isn't on their own terms. While I do understand that your current experiences have appeared negative to you, it has proved to be a type of cathartic healing that many here have had to go through. ALL of you is welcome. But, likewise, ALL of you must adhere to the parameters the webmaster has set before us. We all must. This keeps this site safe, and that safety is an important aspect to many, many members. Safety is also something you will not experience as fully on any other site I know of.

Please reconsider. Certainly take time for yourself. Rethink this decision though, as Psychcentral CAN be a place of healing for you, too. Perhaps you need to limit the forums you visit. I don't know your full experience here, though, so understand that I know I don't. PMs can, and do work wonders. How long did you give your recipient to respond to your requests or upsets? Are you sure you're being realistic? I'm sure you feel you are being realistic, and even minded, and all those positive things. Truth is, what drew you here in the first place, well, don't let it make you run away.

Most all of the members here are very sensitive and caring. Sometimes, though, like you? members here are having a difficult time in their lives too, and don't respond at all, or not in the most favorable way.

If you do choose to leave now, please know that you are always welcomed to return, and try us out again!

[jennie]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Any deviation is threatening to the comfort of the system so the child cannot be recognized for an ability to advise- the fragile cannot be allowed to enact bravery- the advisor cannot fail in the soundness of the advice.

I am withdrawing from this site and all attendant controversy as I have a great interest in growing up. Be well.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="red"> Interesting comparison, however, stating absolutes of how this forum "cannot" allow an individual to deviate from his/her role is a cognitive distortion. This is a support forum. Everyone has their moments, good and bad. I think as a whole, this forum is very flexible, tolerant, and safe. You can't find that out in the "real world" many times.

I would like to think that people diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, also are not stuck in a situation where absolutes control them. Everyone can change; no one is really stuck in a role.

I think you have made a wise decision to leave, if you feel this place not to be supportive to your needs. Maybe you'll find the support you desire elsewhere. Cheerio </font>

[Kathyanita]

ok-
in spite of myself I'll try one last metaphor -
(if you choose to see personal reflection on ones own experience as a challenge for finding and pointing out holes in the cognition- so be it - its a temptation that is hard to resist )-
I come to your house for a picnic. I wont eat the beans.
Hostess: "Why arent you eating?"
Guest :" it has too much salt for my taste."
Hostess: "That cant be accurate. I followed the recipe and everyone else is eating it."
Guest: " I find it too salty so I dont want it."
Hostess: " Well theres nothing wrong with it. Why dont you go next door and see if they have something that suits you. This is how its always been since my forefathers brought the recipe and its just right! Youre in error for not finding it as tasty as the other guests."
OK- proceed with the taking up intelectual arms and catch-phrases and poking holes. . . I'm not hungry anymore any way

[nothemama8]

We all voice our opinions here even though they may not be what you are looking for we accept yours and give as support what you choose to do with those supportive opinions is your choice, hope you will stay you have been a joy to know
Angie

i understand. i have relatives and have known tons of people who are still trying to make me eat the beans! i hope you stay. pat