[Raynaadi]

Hi everyone. I have finally admitted that I am an alcoholic. I just returned from my first AA meeting and leaving here to go to another one soon. I am not doing this alone. My friend and I went out to karaoke last night and we were drinking and just out of the blue I told him we should quit and start going to AA meetings. We agreed to talk about it today and went on with our night. He asked me this morning if I still wanted to quit and then we called the local chapter and went to a meeting.

I have been drinking pretty heavily now for about 5 years. I've cut back here and there, but have lately been drinking 6 or 7 a night on worknights, and a 12 pack or more on weekends. I usually share about 5 or 6 pitchers with people when I go out. My friend is the same way, only he's been drinking for around 12 years, and actually has a keg fridge at his house with a tap. He goes through a keg in about 3 weeks, usually by himself. He's tried the program before, but only because people told him he had a problem. We discussed things at length this morning waiting to hit the meeting.

I am a freaking mess right now. The meeting was so emotional. Hearing people's stories and thanking god it never got that bad for me, thanking god that I'm catching it now before it's too late. We both realize how insanely lucky we are after all these years and have now realized that something or someone was watching out for us. I think this is the reason we came together. Bad thing is, he's going to Vegas on Thursday with his dad and brother, and I'm having all my girlfriends over Friday for jacuzzi, manicures, and drinking. Neither of us will say that we won't drink for those occasions...but we have decided that if we do, it will be the last time. We knew that if we waited to go to a meeting until afterwards, we wouldn't go. We knew we had to do it now.

So...I don't know if I've hit this part of me from all of you. I know there definetly have times in chat that I've been open about the fact that I was drinking, but I don't think I ever let on just how often or how much I drank. I know there is a drug and alcohol forum here, but I can't go there just yet.

I know I am not alone in this. I know I have all of you and I am so thankful for that. I also have my friend. We're in our 13th hour now. It's going to be pretty tough for me in the coming months, so please understand if I'm not myself or just disappear for awhile. I will always keep you posted, no matter what.

Please don't think that my fun nature was just beer. That really isn't true. The rest of my life is going so well and getting healthier, so I'm glad that I'm taking this step. Guess I'll be taking about 12 steps soon. =)

All I can say is that I won't drink today. I love you all so much!!

Rayna

PS-This might be mean to say, but I felt like I had to say it. I know AA isn't for everyone, in fact I've even discussed it with people. But it's something I really need to do, so I can't hear any negativity. Please don't think that I would expect that from anyone, but even in an off way, I just can't hear negativity about the program. Please don't take that the wrong way.

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((((RAYNA))))))))))))))))))))))

Your are so courageous and brave in making this step. Your moving in the right direction because something in you said so and you knew it and now your taking action. BRAVO!!! I am so proud of you. We are all here for you. I know there maybe some difficult times ahead but your strong and I know that you can accomplish anything you set your mind too. I am here for you. Always. Take care friend

i am completely supportive of your task and how you're going about it......i know lots and lots about 12 step programs. i've gone to al-anon off and on for years and years..............xoxox pat

rayna...i am so proud of you for taking this big step and i'm behind you all the way in whatever way you may need a friend......my dad belonged to AA for many years and it was the best thing that ever happened to him..i used to go to meetings with him as a child and set up the coffee table...i can still remember some of people's stories and how touched i was by them even as a child...and as the AA prayer says.."God grant me the serenity to accept the things i can't change...courage to change the things i can....and wisdom to know the difference." you can do this and you know we're all rooting for you!

[CedarS]

Whoooooooo hoooooo Rayna! You absolutely rock and roll! Look at your fine self, you are paying attention to your life, you are facing facts, you are finding what is true for you.

So cool that you are setting boundaries also. Negative info on most anything is indeed available out there, and you fully get to set your own boundaries. This is time for you, for your choices, with your own direction. Others may have their own truths, but this is time for -you-.

Anyone tries to give you grief, you can hold up your hand like a stop sign and tell 'em to "Tell it to the hand.".

[wi_fighter]

Rayna, congratulations on taking this huge step.

[Parker10]

Best of luck to you !!! This is a huge step, and it sounds like what you heard at your first meeting really hit home ! You have alot of support here !

[LadyDragus]

I am very proud of you.
I do not know you that well, but it takes a great deal of courge and I for one would be right there beside you and holding your hand your heart what ever needed to be held, to help you make it through this weekend with out drinking..

You know you can provide soda for yourself.
Just tell your "girlfreidns" you are no longer drinking. You have to stay on the band wagon. Do not falter, it will be hard with them drinking, but if you have the strenght to make it throught his weekend, then you can go on with the rest of your life knowing someone is watching over you, and you are far better off not drinking..

Good luck,

[Mahali]

Raynaadi,

No negativity from this end. Good job in taking this big, brave step. Do what works for you and don't worry about anything else. It's your future and your life.

All the best.

Take care.

place

[silver_queen]

That's awesome, Rayna! I'm glad you've found the strength to go and get help for yourself. That's great .

[Myzen]

Hi Rayna,

You're making a good move, and you have my respect!

Cheers, Myzen.

[Eva1nder]

((((((((((((Rayna)))))))))))))))))

It takes a lot of courage and strength to do what it is your doing. I'm so happy to hear you are going and getting the help you need.

You are such a wondeful friend to so many here and you deserve to much for yourself. It's so good to see you being good to yourself.

I'm so proud of you.

*big hugs Ray!*
Take good care and I hope to talk to you soon.
Eva

[mel020377]

((((((((((rayna))))))))))))))))))

I am sooooo proud of you!!!!!! Everyone always says the first step is admitting you need help. You are so brave. We are here for you every step of the way.