Being myself...

Hi Sky !!!!!!!!!!
Angie

Still dealing with the overdose of adrenaline. Had a couple of minor panic attacks today and maybe just a tiny bit of dissociation. MEN!! Even my youngest got into the act by showing me some blatant disrespect! I no sooner had gotten wheeled in to my spot to watch my granddaughter play baseball that I backed out and rolled myself back to the car in tears. Surprisingly, Jerry was almost right behind me and said we were leaving. My poor eyes will never shrink back to their normal size!! I've got to find a place to hide tomorrow cause the BRAT is coming to work on the house. gggrrrrr Have no clue where to go, but I'm not staying here while he's here!

Art still owes me $20 in spite of the fact that I've asked him twice for it. %#@&#!!!!! I wouldn't have to think about him if he'd just pay me back!

You're right, Angie. Art is/was trying to con me out of something. Probably planning on moving in here, trying to "get ahead" somehow!! And he's got the nerve to treat Jerry like a bossom buddy!!

Ooops! I've already said that, huh? See how messed up my brain is?

Tomi, you certainly have a full plate of 'men' problems on your hands. I would just simply tell him thanks but no thanks, you're not interested in anymore relationships with men.

Do I understand correctly that he is doing some work for you? If so, when do you expect that to be finished? I would stay as far away as possible while he is doing the work and it would be good if Jerry would stay with you to at least show Art that you're still together. With Jerry there, you also wouldn't need anybody else to take you wherever you need to go, including Art, therefore decreasing the amount of time that you are with him. Why does he keep coming over to the house? Is there a polite way of telling the guy that you want to be left alone? Very sticky situation indeed.

BTW, criminal records are public and can be looked at on the internet. I know it is possible because when I was on another site we looked up 2 different people, one also being a murderer, although both were still in prison at the time, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference or not. Unfortunately, I don't remember how you would do that. You could maybe do a google search on his name or if you know where the murder took place, then you could search for criminal records in that specific area. If you knew what prison he served time in, that would also help in your search. I think I recall you saying that he got off for 'good behaviour' after 7 years? If that is correct, there is definitely something wrong with the legal system in the US. Also, to me anyway, it seem unlikely that he would win his appeal by defending himself. You know the old saying about defending yourself, that you have a fool for a lawyer. Some of his legal 'info' just doesn't add up to me. But maybe I'm wrong, it certainly wouldn't be the first time, nor will it be the last.

At any rate, the sooner you can nip this in the bud, the easier it will be. You don't want this going on for any extended period of time. Firstly, it is already taking it's toll on you personally and also, the harder it will be to get rid of him the longer it goes on.

Whatever you do, please be safe and good luck.

BTW, if the reason he commited the murder is as you say it was, what a dispicable crime those guys did to that poor girl.

Thanks for all the good info. I do know some of the answers that will help me find his records.

It's not Art that's coming to do work on the house, it's my youngest son. He pulled, to say it very mildly, a "no-no" yesterday so I'm staying away from him, too.

Art WAS coming over to supposedly check on me, but it was getting quite annoying and suffocating. If Jerry hadn't come back when he did, I would have told Art that it was too much and that I need my space. Don't know exactly what his trip is but the guy doesn't smoke, yet he started carrying a lighter and he'd jump up to light my cigarretes every time I got a cig out. He insisted I light my cig from HIS lighter, not mine. I put a stop to it! I couldn't hardly move without him being there "to make sure I didn't hurt myself!"

Art says he did 18 yrs of his 25 years and didn't get off for good behavior but because he appealed his sentence. It doesn't figure to me, either. He doesn't seem intelligent enough to defend himself. I mean, how many of us is?? (Wait! Jerry just left. Let me go make sure the door is locked -- CLOSED and locked now! )

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BTW, if the reason he commited the murder is as you say it was, what a dispicable crime those guys did to that poor girl.

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Yep, but you STILL don't take matters into your own hands!

Now my mentally challenged friend is telling me he's got this woman that's a gang banger that's causing him trouble and telling him she's gonna kill him. LORD HAVE MERCY!! I don't really believe it, though. It's just the drama!

Anyway... thanks for the info. Gonna put it to good use right now!

Sept, get to the library find out the info you need or if need be call a public defenders office ask questions get answers
Angie

I'm working on it, Angie... Everywhere I look, you have to PAY for the service! ggggrrrrrrrrrrr

Can't even find a list of hispanic surnames to make sure I have it right.

Guess you have to have deep pockets to get the info you need. It's the end of the month and I'm broke.

Would you believe that Art tried to kiss my kneck with my husband and my son in the house??? Jerry saw him and told him "Leave her alone! She's mine!" Arthur laughed it off but came back later, while Jerry was gone, to ask if I needed something from the store. I was on the phone helping my MC neighbor. Mike told him I was on the phone and Art became angry. Went away yelling "Someone doesn't love me any more!" What kind of childish game is THAT?? It's gotten to where I'm afraid to go outside by myself!

I'm going to the library tomorrow to see what I can find out. There's nothing I'd like better than to move out of this town and back to Ventura!! I HATE THIS TOWN!!! I hate being afraid to go outside!! I hate being afraid, period!!

I'm glad it's your son and not Art who is doing the work for you but sorry that he too is giving you some strife. You certainly didn't need it from a 3rd male. ugh!!!

Looks like he got this lighter strictly for the purpose of helping you. Kinda makes you wonder what he'll do next. This guy sounds like a piece of work and someone to definitely keep your distance from. I don't think I would've ever felt comfortable with him in the first place, knowing his past. That would of scared the crap out of me. I know we all deserve 2nd chances in life but you need to think of your personal safety above anything else.

The 18 years sounds much more plausible than the 7 that I was thinking, thanks for correcting me on that. Still think it is highly unlikely that he would've won an appeal representing himself on a murder charge. I just can't buy into that one. Mind you I have major trust issues with people too so my opinion on things would most likely take that into account, but as I said before, things just don't sit right with me about this stuff of his.

I wasn't trying to insinuate that his behaviour was justified because of how dispicable the crime was. You're right, you don't take things into your own hands. He obviously totally lost all control and rationality. I can understand being extremely angry but you have to keep 'some' control, enough to not kill the guy, even if it was what he deserved.

A friend that's a gang banger that's gonna kill him, man, where does all this drama stop? Something tells me, you haven't heard the last of his 'stories' yet, let's just hope they are stories.

Why is he telling you all this stuff? Are you supposed to be impressed? NOT!!!

Good luck with your search. I'll see if I still have any sites bookmarked. I know I did at the time we did searches. It's amazing what you can find out on the net about people. You think your life is private, NOT!!! You just need to know a tiny bit of info and you can find the rest. Actually kinda scary when you think about it.

I know quite awhile back, I had to phone a co-worker at home during an emergency. He has a private unlisted phone number but yet I found it on the net and was able to call him. Boy, was he surprised. There's just no secrets anymore. It's amazing how easy it can actually be sometimes.

Anyway, and keep us posted on how things are going.

OMG!!! This guy has now crossed over the perverbial line and is violating you. I'm glad Jerry reacted the way he did but how did YOU react? This guy is obsessed and dangerous. I don't mean to scare you anymore than you already are but did you see the movie 'Fatal Attraction'? I think his 'childish' games are now 'sick' and 'calculated' games. I think you're very wise to be afraid to go outside by yourself, dang, I hope you keep all your doors and windows locked too, even when Jerry is home now. If he's already kissed you, what would he do next? My God, I think I'd be phoning the police, charging him with harrassment and getting a restraining order against him before something worse happens. It doesn't look like Art is gonna stop at anything for him to kiss you with Jerry right in the house. DAMN!!! Girl, I am majorly concerned for your safety. I just can not even imagine the intensity of the stress and anxiety you are going through right now. You need to call the police and get them involved. God only knows what his next move will be. I don't think you want to find out. He's only going to get more brazen with each prior action that failed. PLEASE take some legal action!!! I won't even tell you the places that my mind is taking me right now, you don't want to hear. Just PLEASE BE SAFE!!!

BTW, is there somewhere else you can stay to be safe? Of course, you can't stay away forever and who knows how he might react upon your return but geez, maybe my paranoia is now settling in for you. You better make sure that Jerry stays put while you go through all this. And if you can manage it, NEVER be in your house alone at any time. OK, maybe I need to shut-up. I don't think I'm helping you any, I'm probably making you feel worse cuz of my paranoia.

((((((((((( Tomi )))))))))))

Just checked Tomi. I don't have any sites bookmarked anymore. Sorry! Good luck in your search, if you need any help, let me know and I'll try to see what I can come up with. Do you know the name of the girl involved?

Decided that I don't need to know anything more about Art's past. All I need, I've experienced in the last few days. Sometime today I'll be talking to him and telling him he needs to back off and why. I'm feeling controlled and manipulated; could blame that on my past but also with his exessive attention. I need to be independent! He needs to know that no matter what, I'm in love with my husband and there's no room for any other man in my life, now or later. There's more but that will have to suffice... whether he likes it or not!

Don't want anyone to worry about me but I won't be very active here on the board for a few days. Don't know how long it will be, but I need to conserve my emotional resources.

Thank you everyone that has supported me and seen me through the worst of it while Jerry was gone. I couldn't have done it without you!

Are you going to have someone with you when ya talk?
Stay safe we'll be here
Angie

Oh, yeah! My youngest son and his dad will be here. Not to worry.

GOOD

Got the job done. Everything went well but emotional. Now I'm having stupid regrets. No matter. It was the right thing to do. Feel empty...